To Be Good
by Kizmet
Summary: Yukio had always been the good twin, intelligent, studious, disciplined and, most importantly, not a demon. It was obvious that he only wanted what was best for Rin. Yukio's intentions were one thing Rin would never question, no matter what. After Father Fujimoto's death Yukio went quietly insane. No one noticed.
1. Don't Touch Me

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Notes: **After Father Fujimoto's death, Yukio went quietly crazy, no one noticed.

AU based on the Anime but I've started reading the Manga, and love it even more than the show so elements from the Manga may creep in. However there's no puppet guy/Takara since the Anime never got around to doing anything with him. No Shura because having a plant in the class with the experience, expertise and inclination to question Yukio would complicate things too much. Similarly Ukobach is out.

**Chapter One: Don't Touch Me**

"So this is a prison?" Rin asked looking around the dorm with new eyes.

"And I'm your jailor," Yukio said. He sighed. "Rin, I'm sorry about earlier, about how I said things, but you have to realize this is my first teaching position and some of my students are actually older than I am."

"I'm older than you," Rin pointed out.

"We're twins, older and younger is hardly more than a technicality between us. And it's painfully apparent that I'm more mature than you are regardless of that technicality," Yukio stated. "I am your teacher; I can't be your teacher and your brother at the same time. I can't maintain discipline in my class if you won't behave as my student, not my older brother. You can't interrupt my class with personal issues between us again. I realize you needed those answers; that we needed to discuss things; but that wasn't the time or place."

Rin bit his lip and glanced at the floor, "Yeah, I get it. Sorry for causing a scene."

Yukio nodded, accepting Rin's apology. "The middle of a massive Coal Tar attack wasn't how I wanted to have that conversation; it wasn't conducive to open communication."

"Everybody not telling me about, ya know, me being a demon, isn't 'conducive to open communication'," Rin pointed out. "Not to mention, you could have said you were some sort of Exorcist prodigy before turning up as my teacher."

"Well, yes." Yukio admitted. "I suppose I was procrastinating. It wasn't really something I _wanted_ to talk to you about. This is hard for me Rin, you are my twin and I love you but you _are _responsible for Father Fujimoto's death." Yukio held up his hand before Rin could protest. "I know you didn't kill him, and I am sorry for phrasing it that way before. But you must know that he wouldn't have died if he hadn't needed to protect you."

"I know!" Rin protested angrily. "I told you, I want to become an Exorcist so no one else'll get hurt 'cause of me."

"Yes, I suppose you did," Yukio replied calmly. "But it is import that you remember why you're here, you can't slack off in your classes here the way you used to." He sighed, "You've always been such a terrible student, Rin. And until you fix that, you are a danger to everyone around you, that's why I have to take Father's place and become your new protector. I protect you from Satan and I protect the world from you, that's why we have to share a room."

"The second part, that's just for show right?" Rin asked. "You know I'd never hurt anyone, don't you?"

"Of course," Yukio said without conviction, looking away from Rin.

Rin reached out to put a hand on Yukio's shoulder, "And the last thing I'd want-"

Yukio slapped Rin's hand away. "Don't touch me!" he exclaimed. Rin drew back, shocked and hurt.

Over the next few days Rin tried to respect that Yukio was still upset and blaming him for Father Fujimoto's death. He tried to give Yukio space and especially to keep his distance physically. Everytime Rin forgot and reached out for Yukio like he would have before his demon powers awoke, Yukio flinched as if Rin's touch burned.

It didn't take long before Rin learned not to reach out. WIthout really thinking about it he started keeping his distance from the other students in his classes as well. When his own twin rejected him Rin couldn't expect more from anyone else.

* * *

><p>About two weeks after starting school at the True Cross Academy Rin was staring out the window daydreaming while his history teacher droned on. In his mind's eye Rin saw the long table at the monastery.<p>

_Several of the monks were laying out plates while Shiro and Yukio helped Rin bring food out from the kitchen. _

"_Smells great Ni-san," Yukio said._

_Shiro ruffled Rin's hair. "See what a little effort and perseverance can accomplish?" He asked. "I remember not so long ago you were burning water, but look at you now." _

_Rin grinned and ducked his head to hide the blush staining his cheeks. "Don't go getting sappy on me, Old Man."_

Rin felt his eyes watering and bit his lip. It was stupid getting all weepy over how dinner used to be; sitting shoulder to shoulder with everyone, fingers brushing casually as dishes were passed, friendly smiles, warm pats on the back…

After the bell rang Rin rushed up the stairs to Yukio's classroom. "I wanna cook dinner tonight," he declared. "Like I used to."

Yukio considered him for a moment. "I suppose it would help with finances if you cooked occasionally. Actually, if you wanted to prepare bentos for our lunches that would help more."

Rin's forehead scrunched up in a frown. "I guess," he said thinking that giving Yukio a meal to take away with him wasn't what Rin missed. Then he smiled. "I could do both. If I plan a little it wouldn't be like cooking two meals at all. Do you have money for groceries?"

"Don't skip your last class," Yukio ordered sternly as he fished out his wallet.

"Yeah, yeah," Rin replied absently.

Rin smiled to himself as he cooked, he had so many good memories associated with the activity. He chopped vegetables with smooth economic strokes, pausing every now and then to stir or add things to the pots and pans on the burner. In the kitchen, if nowhere else, things just seemed to come together under Rin's hands. He'd long since learned to multitask cooking, knew when to start each dish, when they needed his utmost attention and when he could let them simmer away while his focus was on another pan. He knew exactly what was needed and when to have all the ingredients and dishes come together to become a meal even while he was also putting aside things that would become the next day's bentos with a minimum of further preparation.

Rin sighed with satisfaction as he step back and surveyed the spread he'd laid out. "Yukio! Food's on!' Rin called.

Yukio came down stairs, served himself and retreated back to his room. Rin scowled and went after Yukio. He found his twin arranging things so he could grade papers while he ate.

"Sit and eat with me at the table," he ordered grabbing Yukio's shoulder. "Shiro wouldn't…"

Yukio spun around drawing his gun as he moved. He struck Rin harshly across the face with the barrel. Rin fell back, staring up at Yukio in shock as he reached up to touch the blood dripping down his cheek.

"How many times do I have to tell you! Don't touch me!" Yukio snarled glaring down at Rin.

"I- Sorry- Why? What did I do?" Rin stammered, unable to wrap his mind around the fact Yukio had really hit him like that.

"You don't remember? You KILLED Father!" Yukio exclaimed. "And then you went and broke the seal on the sword. You turned yourself into a demon, a filthy disgusting demon." He reached out and twisted Rin's tail viciously to prove his point.

Rin shrieked, his vision practically whiting out from the pain. He pressed himself back against his bed, drawing his limbs in close against further attacks.

Yukio stepped back breathing hard. After a moment he holstered his gun. "I'm sorry," he said stiffly. "I should have better control than that. But constantly having you around, sharing a room with you is difficult now. You're my twin, Father Shiro entrusted you to me, I want to look after you. But at the same time, you are a demon now. Ever since you drew that sword you became everything I've been trained to fight. Every minute I'm with you I sense the evil in you and it makes me want to lash out at you. I sense that you're of Gehenna and subconsciously I want to reject your presence on this plane of existence. Being near you makes me sick."

Rin looked stricken. "I- I didn't know. Is- is there anything I can do?"

Yukio opened his mouth then stopped. He looked away, "No, there's nothing I could ask of you, you're my twin."

"Then there's something," Rin said eagerly. "Whatever it is, I- the last thing I ever want is to drive you away."

"No… well, perhaps if I diluted it I could permit you…" Yukio waffled.

"What?" Rin demanded.

"Holy water," Yukio said. "It would help purify your presence if you rinsed with holy water, but I can't ask you to hurt yourself that way."

"You're not asking, I'm deciding," Rin stated with determination.

Yukio's lips twitched upward. "You won't try anything on your own," he said in a serious tone. "I don't want you endangering yourself."

"Yeah, yeah, let you dilute it or whatever," Rin said eagerly. "Let's do it, now."

Yukio took a holy water grenade out. "No, not this, potency is too high. No, we need to start with a low-class holy water, then we'll dilute from there." As he spoke he led Rin to the dormitory's bathroom.

Yukio filled a basin with water, then after searching a few pockets on his jacket, produced a vial. He studied it thoughtfully for several minutes then carefully added a measure to the basin. "Don't want to use too much. And I'll need to observe the effect on you. I'll be able to feel the purification of your aura, but I need to balance that against the damage you suffer."

Rin peeled off his shirt and reached for a wash cloth. He yelped and flinched back in surprise when his fingers contacted the water. Then he gritted his teeth and plunged his hand into the water and quickly scrubbed himself down. Everywhere the rag touched his skin took on the red hue of a severe sunburn, blisters formed on his hands from prolonged exposure to the holy water. Yukio sat back and watched intently as his brother's demon healing warred against the injuries Rin was inflicting on himself. The glare on his glasses obscured Yukio's eyes as he watched Rin fight to keep the pain he was feeling from showing on his face. "Enough Ni-san," Yukio said went the raw-redness no longer seemed to be fading from Rin's skin.

"Does it feel better? Being around me?" Rin asked hopefully.

Yukio glanced away, "Yes, it's better," he said quickly. "Let me treat you, I have some aloe."

Rin smiled. "Just like old times, you patching me up."

Yukio took his time carefully rubbing the aloe onto Rin's blistered hands, "You can't do this more than once a day," he cautioned. "You have to be at your best for class and missions. It would help most if you purified yourself when we return to the dorm at the end of the day. The effect would be strongest during the evening when we're together and you'd have the whole night to recover."

Rin nodded, "It wasn't that bad even, you could make it stronger," he said. "I mean, you said it was better, not good. And I'll have the whole night to heal, like you said. I heal fast."


	2. Don't Let Them See

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Two: Don't Let Them See**

Rin's fists clenched as he watched the Dekalp twine itself around the little blonde girl he might have just befriended as if she were nothing more than it's puppet.

"Rin, do not draw your sword," Yukio warned. "Every time you unleash those flames your aura becomes that much more corrupt. All the effort you put into purifying yourself would be erased."

"I'm not just sitting on the sidelines," Rin declared and lunged at the demon, his sheathed sword held like baseball bat.

The Dekalp sneered at him and put Shiemi between them. Rin pulled up mid-attack and glared helplessly "Let her go!" he demanded.

"Never," the Dekalp answered.

"Then you leave me no choice," Yukio said, leveling his pistol at the demon, despite the danger to Shiemi.

"No!" Rin looked wildly between Yukio and the demon. "NO!" He drew the sword, blue flames enveloped him. It only occurred to him after the sword was drawn that nothing had changed, he still couldn't get at the Dekalp without endangering Shiemi.

Yukio fired, the Dekalp released Shiemi in it's attempt to get out of the line of fire and left itself open to Rin's attack. The demon destroyed, Rin sheathed his sword and turned to see how badly Shiemi had been hurt. He couldn't believe Yukio had actually shot her, that his twin had shot an innocent girl because she was between him and killing a demon.

Rin turned and saw Yukio smiling and setting a shaky Shiemi on her feet. "It was a fertilizer pellet," Yukio explained to Rin. Then he turned to Shiemi, "You'll be able to walk now," he told her. Rin felt almost dizzy with relief.

They wrapped things up at the Exorcists' shop fairly quickly after that and took their leave. Rin could sense the tension in Yukio as they walked home. It wasn't a surprise, when as soon as the door to the old dorm closed behind them, Yukio started yelling. "Do you have a deathwish? After I told you not to draw that sword, just like I'm certain Father told you not to draw it, what do you do? What were you thinking? No, better question, DO YOU EVER THINK, RIN? If Shiemi hadn't been unconscious, if she'd seen you! Do you have any idea what might have happened?"

"Yeah, you told me, my aura gets more corrupt, stronger holy water baths to fix it or something," Rin shuttered but glared back at Yukio angrily. "If you think that's going to stop me from doing everything I can to keep someone from getting hurt right in front of me then you don't know me very well. And stop throwing Dad's death at me all the time! I drew the sword then because I was trying to save him!"

"Well that worked really well didn't it?" Yukio asked coldly. "Did it ever occur to you that Father knew better than you? That if you'd just done what you were told, for once in your life, that we wouldn't be here now? Maybe if you weren't such a stubborn little fool, then Father would be alive and you wouldn't be a demon!"

Rin flinched, it had occurred to him, over and over again, that if he'd acted differently, if he hadn't argued, if he hadn't said the one thing he was going to regret saying for the rest of his life, then maybe Satan wouldn't have been able to possess Father Fujimoto and his dad wouldn't have had to kill himself to protect him.

Yukio watched the fight drain out of Rin. "Yes, every time you draw that damned sword your aura becomes more corrupt, it gets that much harder for me to be around you. But that's not what I'm worried about right now! Right now I'm worried about how you could have been discovered. If Shiemi or her mother had seen those blue flames… Sir Pheles might be willing to protect you, to hide you, but he's, well he was Father's friend among other things, he's willing to go against the Vatican for you. But if it gets out, that he's sheltering Satan's bastard child. Rin, your aura becoming corrupt will be the least of our worries, the Vatican will kill you!"

"I'll be more careful," Rin said, because Yukio was worried about him. Really worried, not just angry. "I won't get caught. But I won't just stand by, you know I can't."

Yukio's mouth thinned. "Do you think anyone will thank you for using _that _power to save them? Hasn't your whole life taught you better? How often have your attempts to help people _not _blown up in your face? I know you want to use what you are to do good Rin, I really do know that, but don't you see, people don't want your help. Once they sense the wrongness in you they all despise you, no matter what you intentions were. Now with that blue flame advertising that you're Satan's child, believe me, no one will care that you were trying to help, they'll want to kill you as soon as they recognize you for what you are. They don't mean to be cruel, but it's just natural to want to be rid of evil. You can't keep going on like this Rin, I have to protect you and you make it so hard to keep you safe."

Rin couldn't argue with what Yukio was saying. He'd long since lost count of the number of times he'd tried to help someone only to terrify them instead. At least now he knew the reason why and there was something he could do about it. He'd never shied away from doing what he thought was right before just because he might get hurt and he wasn't about to start now. The next day, Rin quietly secured a stash of holy water and secretly added a second purification to his morning ablutions to try minimize his classmate's subconscious revulsion at his presence and to compensate for any need to use his powers.

When Shiemi stopped by the dorm the following night to thank the brothers for her rescue, her eyes grew worried when she saw the burns on Rin's face. "What happened?" she asked, stretching a hand toward his cheek.

Rin flushed hotly and flinched away from her. "It… um… I… I was cooking!" he stammered. "The oil splattered, that's all no big deal."

Yukio smiled approvingly. "Cooking is the only constructive thing Rin's any good at," he told Shiemi. "Still even in the kitchen he can't seem to help but cause damage."

"Oh," Shiemi said sympathetically, then her face lit up. "Oh! There are herbs that would help! I'll run right home…"

"It's not as bad as it looks," Rin assured her. "And I heal quick, you don't gotta go to any trouble. It'll be like it never happened tomorrow."

After Shiemi left, Yukio commented "We probably don't want to do too much explaining. It might be better if you went easy on your hands and face."

* * *

><p>Rin leaned into Yukio's touch, shaking a little as his brother rubbed aloe onto his scalded back. Over the last couple of months, since his demonic power had been released, Rin had become an expert at avoiding contact with other people. It was only when Yukio treated his nightly holy water burns that Rin allowed himself- Was allowed? He wasn't sure anymore. It was the only time another person touched him and it was all Rin could do not to turn around and throw himself into Yukio's arms. A hug would do him a hundred times more good than a drum of aloe, but he'd never get one. Instead Rin just focused every iota of his concentration on the feel of Yukio's hands gently touching his back.<p>

"I overheard your classmates telling you about the Blue Night," Yukio commented, tracing the thick crescent of bruises left from when Rin had shielded Bon from the Leaper's attack. "The timing can't be a coincidence. It's a bit early for your birthday, but perhaps it was the day Satan's evil made a home for itself in you."

Rin pulled away and turned to stare at Yukio in horror. "What?"

"Your classmates' suffering, their tragedies," Yukio clarified in a gentle tone. "It's your fault, just like Father Fujimoto's death."

"Damnit Yukio, I wasn't even _born_ then, how can it be my fault?" Rin protested. "I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything."

For a moment Yukio felt guilt bubbling up from his gut at what he was doing to Rin. 'But it's for his own good. He will get himself killed if he goes on the way he is.'

"Just by existing you bring misery," Yukio replied, but he leaned over and pulled Rin into a hug, holding him tightly. "Even so, you're my twin and I'll always love you."

* * *

><p>A week later, before the other pages were due to arrive at the Dormitory for the Cram School Overnight Camp, Rin stood in the bathroom. Yukio had told him he should forgo purification that night because he needed to be at his best for the camp. "You have enough trouble with your grades as it is," Yukio had sighed. "You can't afford to fail at this school, I can deal with it tonight. With the other students here it's not as if I can be your brother anyway."<p>

Rin scowled. "Bossy little brother, I can handle this," he said to himself as he filled the wash basin. "You don't have to suffer to be around me." He emptied the whole vial of holy water into the water, washed his hands quickly then put on gloves. He was getting better at hiding his injuries all the time; burn-blisters on his hands would give away that he'd ignored Yukio's orders and gone ahead with his purification ritual.

Rin sometimes wondered if Yukio might have realized that he had added a second purification in the mornings before class, but if he had, Yukio didn't say anything about it. There were times when Rin was sure Yukio knew and approved. Rin remembered how reluctant Yukio had been to tell him what he needed to do in the first place. He knew Yukio didn't like seeing his pain but it was worth it if it kept his demonic aura from making everyone hate him.

The worst thing about the morning purification was that keeping it secret meant that Yukio didn't treat the burns afterwards. As far as Rin could see Yukio's aloe and burn creams didn't really speed up his natural healing much. In fact, Rin was pretty sure he was healing more slowly all the time. Now there were mornings when he could still see red-patches on his skin, even before his morning purification. Still having Yukio tend his hurts soothed an ache in Rin's soul. It reminded Rin of better times when his presence didn't disgust his twin, back when Yukio could look at him without thinking about how their father died because of Rin.

The constant ache from the burns did make his sleep less restful, but homework and cooking regularly cut into Rin's sleep-time anyway. Not to mention he'd always had trouble listening to lectures like he should. Yukio hadn't even questioned his falling asleep in class, so it wasn't like he was hiding anything that was really affecting his studies. Rin grimaced, 'I'm just naturally stupid. And with all the fights I get in, I'm used to working through pain. It's worth it if it makes me less demonic. It's not really so different from Yukio having to see demons since we were babies 'cause of me.'

* * *

><p>Izumo scowled, the Overnight Camp had been nothing short of a disaster and thus far: First arguing with Paku about how she'd been dealing with that pest Moriyama. Then Ghoul attack. Izumo still couldn't believe how thoroughly she'd failed everyone. She'd frozen. She'd lost control of her familiars. She let Paku, her only friend in the whole world get hurt, and it could have been much worse if not for Okumura and Moriyama jumping into the fight. It was shameful; a klutzy, know-nothing ditz like Moriyama had saved Paku while she had stood there like a useless lump.<p>

And then there was Okumura. Well at least his jumping into the fight was no surprise, not after the way he'd gotten between Suguro and the leaper that the Kyoto-born boy had provoked. Okumura jumping into a fight with absolutely no concern for his own safety, not pausing to think about who he was fight for was nothing new. But Okumura had remember how to dispel her rebellious familiars when she'd let panic overwhelm her. 'I suppose he's not a complete lunk-head.'

Izumo grimaced, 'And then he went and gave me his shirt, I guess I must have been looking pretty pathetic at that point.' She remembered the wounds that had been revealed all over Rin's chest when he had given her the shirt. 'It wasn't just Paku who got hurt because I froze. Maybe it wasn't pity, he could have just been being a gentleman when he gave me the shirt.'

'I wonder if anyone else saw Rin's injuries? He might need treatment too.' Izumo bit at her lower lip worriedly. 'Actually he was burned a lot worse than Paku, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. Anyway, I'm sure Okumura-Sensei took care of it. He's our teacher and Rin's brother, of course he took care of it.'

'Still I should wash his shirt and return it. It's only polite and I don't want him telling anyone about how I froze. It's not like I'm checking up on the idiot or anything.' Izumo shook out the shirt Rin had loaned her and gave it a puzzled frown. 'How could he have gotten those injuries without his shirt getting damaged at the same time?'

* * *

><p>'What was Yukio thinking, locking us all in here?' Rin wondered as he fled down the hallway trying to get to the lights while leading half of the Naberius away from the others.<p>

'What was Yukio thinking, locking them in here with me,' he corrected himself. He was the ghouls' target, the reason everyone was in danger. Everything that had happened during the test was just proving how right Yukio was about him. Rin didn't have to do anything beyond existing to hurt the people closest to him. And maybe it wasn't his fault, he hadn't asked to be attacked by these things! But by now he should expect it and have the sense to stay away from others so that no one else got caught up in the on-going disaster that was his life. But it was too late for 'should haves' now. Now it was just about putting a stop to this thing before anyone got hurt, preferable without using the sword.

Rin slid to a stop as the Naberius blocked his efforts to get to the fuse box and get the lights back on. His hand flexed on the hilt of his sword. He didn't want to draw it, now that Rin knew about the Blue Night, about what Satan's flames meant to the others in his class he could understand more why no one could accept that those powers could be used for good. And maybe they were right. To Rin it was starting to seem like he'd been wrong about everything else, so why wouldn't he be wrong about this too? Still, his classmates, his friends, were counting on him to get those lights back on. He couldn't fail, people died when he failed.

The Naberius seemed to know what he was thinking. "My master says you are not to pass, Son of Satan."

"They're counting on me," Rin replied and drew the sword. For a moment he froze, staring at the blue flames dancing on his skin with revulsion. Then he screamed and threw himself at the Naberius. The fight was over in an instant as Rin's flames and fury burned the creature away. As soon as it was gone Rin sheathed the Koma Sword, quenching his flames.

Professor Neuhaus stepped out of the shadows, clapping his hands, slow and sarcastic. "Now that's what I wanted to see, those blue flames."

Rin spun around hugging himself, he stared up at the teacher. Knowing that Neuhaus had seen his flames, Rin felt as if his teacher were seeing him naked: vulnerable and ashamed. The hate on Neuhaus' face confirmed everything Yukio had been telling Rin. It was clear that the man wanted to kill him now. But Yukio had also told Rin it wasn't Neuhaus' fault, that it was Satan's power running through Rin's body that made people hate him, want him dead. On top of that Rin's classmates were still upstairs, facing who knew what. Rin didn't want to fight Neuhaus and so he fled.

Half-way back to the others it hit Rin that his aura had to be saturated with demonic evil. He gasped, clutching his chest. He suddenly couldn't breathe, his heart was pounding wildly against his ribs. Rin couldn't escape the thought of his classmates looking at him with eyes full of hate like Neuhaus'.

Stumbling, dizzy with terror, Rin turned toward the dorm bathroom. Hands shaking he filled a basin then reached up above the mirror to a small ledge hidden by it's frame and extracted a vial of holy water. Rin added it to the basin. He scratched at his arm, even though the flames were gone he swore he could still feel their taint on his skin. He added a second vial to the basin.

Rin hurriedly stripped off his clothing. He leaned over the basin and splashed his face. A sob of mixed pain and relief escaped his lips as blisters formed on his cheeks and the tender skin of his eye-lids. He soaked a rag in the water and started sponging off his arms and chest. Rin scrubbed himself down roughly until he was raw and bleeding. Skin still burning from the drying holy water but no longer panicking at the thought of being in the same room as his friends Rin headed back.

He stumbled into the classroom a few minutes later. Bon took in Rin's condition at a glance and dragged the smaller boy's arm over his shoulder before he could collapse. "Where's the demon that followed you?" he asked urgently, giving Rin a little shake.

"Got him," Rin reported, basking in the concern in Bon's eyes, in his touch. "You guys?"

"We got ours too," Shima replied.

"Good," Rin said and his eyes rolled back in his head.

Bon lowered Rin to the floor. "He's burned bad, but I don't see any necrosis yet."

"Moriyama's still unconscious," Izumo stated. "We need to get both of them treatment. We can't just wait for Okumura-sensei to get back."

Bon bit his lip, glancing around at his classmates, summing up their resources and considering their chances of defeating their teacher's lock.

"Do not worry my little students!" Mephisto declared strolling into the room, he twirled his umbrella theatrically. Several other Exorcists of the True Cross Order popped out of the ceiling and closets. "We have everything under control!"

Yukio stepped around Mephisto and went to Rin.

The headmaster beamed at the group. "You've completed the exam! Surprise!" He snapped his fingers and a banner unfurled. "Congratulations! You're all Exwires now!"

The shell-shocked class, at least those who were still on their feet, glanced from Mephisto to the Doctors who were loading Rin and Shiemi onto stretchers. None of them seemed to have a clue as to how they were supposed to react.

* * *

><p>After the new Exwires had been relocated to the infirmary for a night of observation Mephisto called Neuhaus into his office. He gave the one-eyed Exorcists a tight smile. "A bit enthusiastic?" he remarked.<p>

Neuhaus frowned. "My familiar barely touched the Hell-Brat."

"Odd," Mephisto sniffed. "He looked like he'd caught a holy water grenade… Fortunately all his classmates think it's the work of your pet." The headmaster gave Neuhaus a warning look. "You do remember that I'm not ready to unveil our cute little weapon just yet?"

"Maybe the brat's own gear misfired," Neuhaus suggested.

"Perhaps," Mephisto allowed. "Just keep the big picture in mind the next time you test our Okumura-kun."


	3. Confess Your Sins

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Three: Confess Your Sins**

Yukio was waiting at the foot of the stairs when Neuhaus left Mephisto's office. "Your actions were well outside the limits permitted by the test. What exactly was your intention? The faculty could have intervened, but you endangered the students and threatened the effective administration of the test. And you forced Rin to use his powers, the last thing we should do is encourage his reliance on those flames. What's more you almost forced him to reveal himself. Only a few of us know his identity and you swore to Sir Pheles to keep it secret."

Neuhaus shook his head and growled in irritation, "You too? I only obeyed Sir Pheles' orders. He told me to proceed as if I intended to kill him, but I'm still not the one who dumped holy water over the Hell-brat."

"Sir Pheles ordered you to do what?" Yukio demanded angrily.

"Odd," Neuhaus commented. "You actually believe me. Sir Pheles had his doubts. Look, your role is to apply the brakes to your twin's powers and mine is to step on the gas. That's how we'll figure out what he's good for."

"Good for?" Yukio asked, eyes darkening dangerously.

"We need to measure his effectiveness as a weapon for the order," Neuhaus answered.

Yukio shook his head. "No, you can't encourage him. Rin's got little enough sense as it is. He needs to be taught his limits."

"You need to remember that our goal isn't to give the hell-brat a normal life," Neuhaus said darkly stepping into Yukio intimidatingly. "The only reason we're keeping him alive is because he might be useful against that father of his. Don't ever fool yourself about that."

* * *

><p>A few days later Shiemi crouched in the dusty attic space beside Rin, wringing her hands nervously. She and Yuki had been talking and then he'd suddenly gotten worried. She'd followed as he rushed home. When Rin hadn't woken when his brother shook his shoulder Yukio had just bundled his blankets around him, picked him up and carried him here. Then he had told Shiemi to stay with Rin while he went to deal with whatever the problem was.<p>

Rin mumbled restlessly and squirmed around in his bedding, he reached out and grabbed his pillow, hugging it against him. Shiemi's eyes widened, the burns on Rin's arm didn't look healed at all. 'Surely his injuries from the Exwire Exam shouldn't look so raw now?'

"Nii-chan? Sancho please," Shiemi requested. She quietly tended the injuries she could see, wishing there was something more she could do to be of help to either Rin or Yukio.

Rin stirred at the feel of cool aloe being rubbed into his arm. He blinked at Shiemi in sleepy confusion. "What's goin' on?" He looked around. "Where are we?"

Shiemi quickly told him what she knew.

By the time Rin made it to the roof, Yukio was in trouble. He'd lost his gun when Neuhaus' massive Naberius batted him across the roof and was pinned under a giant hand reaching out of the misshapen conglomeration's belly. Rin saw his twin in danger and didn't pause to think, in heartbeat the sword was in his hand. He hacked at the arm crushing Yukio to the ground.

The creature turned on Rin, a multitude of hands grabbing and tearing at him. It felt like being at the center of a mob and for a moment Rin was frozen. Then the creature was gone. Rin looked around and saw Yukio kneeling over a broken section of the summoning circle.

Rin scrabbled for his sword and had it at Neuhaus' neck before the Exorcist could launch another attack. "Why?" Rin asked angrily. "Why would you attack Yukio or the others?"

"To get to you," Neuhaus replied. "I'm a survivor of the Blue Night. Satan possessed me for mere moments, but I lost this eye and my family who tried to save me. He used my own hands to kill them! I can never forgive Satan or any demon, let alone Satan's son! I will kill you…" A hand erupted from one of the many summoning circles tattooed on Neuhaus' arms, "Even if it costs my life!"

The hand penetrated deep into Rin's side, he looked up from beneath his bangs, blood running out of the corners of his mouth. "Feel better now?" he asked flatly. "If that's not enough, I'm used to stuff like this so, I'll put up with whatever you can dish out. But don't involve anyone else in this."

Neuhaus' eyes strayed to the extensive holy water burns that had been revealed when Rin's shirt had been torn. A look of sudden understanding crossed the older Exorcists' face. "I suppose you are," he commented glancing back toward Yukio. He shook his head then turned and slowly limped away.

Later that night, after Shiemi had returned to her home Yukio insisted on examining Rin's injuries. With a thoughtful look he pressed firmly on the scab where Rin had been impaled. "You need it don't you," he said. "I should have realized, your soul isn't completely corrupted yet, you still have a need for atonement."

"Geeze, it's not like that," Rin argued, then broke off with whimper as Yukio's fingers dug into the still healing wound. His ribs were starting to become prominent; he never really felt much like eating these days. The constant pain from his burns was having an impact on his appetite.

"You allowed him to stab you because you knew you were responsible for the loss of his family, you needed this as penance," Yukio continued, his fingers slowly kneading Rin's side.

Rin saw spots dancing before his eyes. The slow, deliberate pressure on the stab wound and burns from Rin's earlier ablutions caused shooting pains through his body, he was dizzy from blood loss and then there was Yukio's touch, associated only with healing which created a sense of unreality. "I just... didn't want him hurtin' anyone... cause of me," Rin tried to explain.

Yukio continued over Rin's protests. "You can't go to a priest obviously, if you told them about being a demon they'd want to kill you. But going through the forms still might help a bit. I'll help you: Father, forgiven me for my sins… Rin, say it with me."

Familiarity and Yukio's prompting had Rin reciting the words even while he was mentally protesting that this wasn't right, wasn't what he'd meant by allowing Neuhaus to get past his guard. He was willing to shoulder the blame if it kept his teacher from harming his fellow Exwires or Yukio, he didn't believe he was guilty, not really. He hadn't even been born, how could it be his fault?

But it was Yukio telling him he was. Yukio, who was smarter than him, who wasn't always in trouble like him, who didn't constantly disappoint Shiro like him. Yukio who was human and good at stuff, who always knew the answers. And Rin was so dizzy and tired, he was pretty sure he could pass out if Yukio would just stop poking at his injuries.

"It's been… I haven't been to Confession since Dad died," Rin continued as Yukio fell silent. "It was my fault he died." Yukio constantly reminded him of that, Rin didn't even try to qualify it anymore.

"And the Blue Night," Yukio prompted.

"The Blue Night… happened because I was born." Rin said slowly.

"Because of you," Yukio took over, still kneading Rin's wounded side, "Professor Neuhaus' family died. Because of you Ryuji's grandfather died. Because of you Konekomaru's parents both died."

Rin let his head loll to the side listlessly. "Yeah, because of me," he agreed tiredly.

* * *

><p>Neuhaus paused after giving his report of the events on the roof.<p>

"You're certain you couldn't have avoided stabbing him?" Mephisto asked with an exasperated sigh. "His body is probably a bit taxed from healing all that holy water damage from your last fight," he added with a faintly accusing tone.

"Told you before: Not me," Neuhaus muttered gruffly. "And I was expecting him to block. Seems he's generally not what I was expecting." He hesitated again. "Have you ever actually driven a car?" he asked tangentially.

Mephisto tilted his head to the side curiously. "Naturally, I may prefer a driver these days but they were quite the novelty once."

"You know what happens when you hit the accelerator without releasing the emergency brake?" Neuhaus hinted. "Things get torn apart."

* * *

><p>Things never remained quiet around the True Cross Academy for long. It was less than a week after Professor Neuhaus stopped showing up for class when Kuro, Father Fujimoto's former familiar heard of his master's death and almost allowed his grief to turn him back into a demon. Rin had been able to hear Kuro's thoughts and understand what was driving the Cat Sith's actions. Because he shared Kuro's grief Rin had been able to connect to Kuro and bring him back to himself.<p>

That night, curled up in his bed with his new familiar sleeping on his lap Rin thought back on the day. Oddly he felt better than he had in a long time, mourning with Kuro had loosened a knot in his chest that had been pulling tighter and tighter every time Yukio reminded him that it was his fault Shiro had died.

'Course it's only because Kuro doesn't know the whole story,' Rin thought guiltily. There was so much guilt piling up in him. Confession was supposed to lead to forgiveness, but Yukio's version only made Rin feel worse and he couldn't talk to the people he'd supposedly wronged because it was absolutely essential that Rin keep his demonic heritage a secret from them. But Kuro was different, the Cat Sith already knew Rin was a demon so Rin could talk to him. Besides, Rin was pretty sure he was the only one who understood Kuro anyway, it couldn't hurt to talk to him.

Rin glanced toward his brother's bunk to make sure Yukio was asleep, there was nothing wrong with telling Kuro, even so Rin wasn't sure he wanted Yukio to know what he planned. When a small snore emanated from the cocoon of blankets Rin scooped up his new familiar and quietly climbed out the window and up to the dorm roof.

/I was comfy Rin,/ Kuro complained.

Rin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "There's something I gotta tell you. After I do, you might not wanna be around me anymore."

/Rin?/

Rin put Kuro down then stepped away. He stood, head down, eyes on the ground at his feet, tension radiating off his body. "It was my fault Shiro died," he confessed.

/What?/

"He was protecting me, that's why he died." Rin hesitated for a moment then added. "And it was my fault Satan could possess him. Yukio said I must have done something. Right before it happened I… I yelled at him… I said he wasn't my father. And then Satan possessed him and he killed himself to protect me." Rin's fists clenched. "I should drink holy water, burn out my voice for saying something so awful. Shiro should have just let him have me."

/Rin!/ Kuro exclaimed in alarm. The cat sith twined around Rin's ankles trying to provide comfort, but it felt insufficient so Kuro took his full-sized form and curled himself around the distraught boy. /Don't say something like that, Shiro thought you were worth protecting, so you are./

Rin shook his head. He sank to the roof and wrapped his arms around his knees. "It was my fault. Yukio _said_ Satan wouldn't have been able to possess Shiro normally, that I had to have done something. And I did."

Kuro rubbed his jaw against the top of Rin's head comfortingly. /You were young and stupid, you didn't know better. Shiro wouldn't have let something like that shake him. He was too strong./

"But he did!" Rin protested. "I wouldn't do what he told me to. I kept getting in the way, challenging him. Then I said that and… and he hit me then Satan possessed him."

Kuro froze. After several minutes he said, /Sometimes being grown-up doesn't keep you from being stupid. Hitting you, that could have done it./

"So it was my fault," Rin concluded.

Kuro rubbed his face against Rin's cheek and purred comfortingly. /No, no! What happened wasn't your fault. People make mistakes, you, Shiro. But in the end protecting you was what was most important to him. Shiro chose to protect you, he loved you./

A small sob broke from Rin. "And I killed him, so nobody else ever will. Yukio tries… Maybe it's better that he can't."

Kuro cuddled close to Rin and let him cry.

* * *

><p>"You'll be going on your first mission as an Exwire tomorrow," Yukio said as he poured a dose of holy water into Rin's wash water. "Professor Kaoru will be supervising your group." Yukio turned and looked at Rin. "I won't be around to prepare your purification for you."<p>

"So? I'll take care of it myself," Rin said carelessly. "You know I'm not a complete idiot, I can pour a measure of liquid. I do it all the time when I cook."

"I suppose I could make a recipe for you," Yukio allowed. "Actually I could give you vials with pre-measured doses. And you have to swear not to draw the sword, I won't be there to adjust the dosage and I can't say how Izumo-kun and Shima-kun might react to the increased corruption in your aura. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know," Rin sighed. "But really I can take care of it myself, you don't got to worry." He grinned, "I am your older brother remember."

"It's been a while since I heard that," Yukio said frowning.

"Well it's still true," Rin replied. He grabbed a wash rag then stopped. "This isn't right," he said.

"If not for this your friends and teachers would all be trying to kill you, just like Neuhaus did once he was exposed to your flames," Yukio snapped.

"Not the purification," Rin clarified. "You're not supposed to confess the same sins over and over again, even I know that much."

"What do you know?" Yukio demanded furiously. "While you were busy failing middle school I was Father Fujimoto's apprentice. I passed the Exorcist Exam two years ago; the youngest ever; while you've failed to hold even a menial job for more than two months. Because of you I've had to deal with seeing demons for my whole life while you were blissfully ignorant of your true nature until just a few months ago. Who are you to question me, _Ni-san_?" he spat.

Rin shrank away from Yukio's rage.

"Do you seriously think you deserve absolution?" Yukio asked mercilessly. "Is Ryuji's temple restored? Is Neuhaus' pain assuaged? Does Konekomaru have his parents back? Is Father any less _dead _today?"

Rin shuddered as if Yukio's words were blows. 'Should have known better to bring it up now,' he thought, right before the purification. My aura's got to be bad right now. That's why Yukio's getting so mad. He really sounds like he hates me. I should just say it, keep him happy. I don't wanna drive my twin away. It's just words, it doesn't matter if I say it.'

Head lowered, tail dragging Rin soaked a washcloth in the holy water dilution. "Father forgive me…"

* * *

><p>Shima's first mission as an official Exwire wasn't exactly living up to his expectations. He, Izumo and Okumura were knee deep in a tidal pool scooping seaweed into baskets. His feet were numb, his hair was stiff with salt and he was probably never going to get the smell of dead fish out of his clothes.<p>

"We're never going to finish if you don't pull your weight," Izumo snapped.

'And the company was nothing to write home about,' Shima thought. 'Not that Izumo isn't the best scenery around, but geeze she's more of a slave-driver than my mom.'

He glanced over at the last member of their group. Okumura had been oddly quiet, not what Shima had expected at all.

After what Professor Kaoru had said about Okumura getting in due to 'special circumstances' they'd assumed he'd bought his way in to the cram school, but going to their regular classes at the True Cross Academy Shima had plenty of experience with rich, entitled jerks and frankly Rin had more in common with a duck than with that type.

Okumura was a mess of contradictions. Most days he was exuberantly outgoing, but if anyone got too close to him he shrank away and Shima swore he'd look afraid. The guy who stood in the path of a charging Leaper and went off in the dark, alone with a ghoul right behind him looked afraid when another kid got too close to him. It could be Shiemi offering to share a textbook when Okumura forgot his bag or Konekomaru trying to explain something, it didn't matter Rin freaked at the possibility of another person touching him. And that was another thing, the guy was a dunce in class, but put him in front of a real demon…

Shima shook his head, the Leaper was one thing, but Rin had taken on a ghoul alone, in the dark and lived to tell the tale... Not that he'd gotten off without injuries. Bon had been livid about the way Rin had gone off on his own and practically gotten himself killed but he had kept it hidden from Rin that night; they were all still amazed that Rin had survived a ghoul attack of that severity.

But since recovering from his wounds Rin had been withdrawn. Shima grimaced, 'Or maybe it started before that.' Rin was such a moron, you figured a guy like that had to be an open book, but really they didn't know much of anything about him.

The mission did nothing to distract Shima from his pondering. To his disappointment the most dangerous thing they encountered all day was algae covered rocks and the occasional unexpectedly large wave. By the end of the day, Shima wished his arms would just fall off and spare him the pain of having to lift another pitchfork full of seaweed, he was dirty, tired and cold. But Professor Kaoru gave them leave to go to the beach the next day, so things were looking up.

"Dibs on the bath," Shima called as soon as they walked through the door.

"Just be quick about it," Izumo said with a glare for good measure and Shima ran for it.

Shima grabbed his things out of the room he was sharing with Rin and scrubbed up quickly. "Bath's clear," he called, five minutes later he realized he'd left his things in the bathroom. Shima hurried back down the hall and opened the bathroom door, forgetting to knock.

To the pink-haired boy's disappointment it was Rin rather than Izumo that he caught in the altogether. Given the speed with which Rin had snatched up a towel to cover himself, he might as well have been girl. "How'd you get ahead of Izumo?" Shima said.

"She wanted a soak, said I could go first if I just cleaned up," Rin babbled still hiding behind the towel. Then his eyes narrowed, "You just walked in, thinking it was Izumo?"

"Totally innocent mistake," Shima declared as Rin quickly snagged a yukata and wrapped it around himself in place of the towel. Shima's eyes widened at the brief glimpse of Rin's torso, "Dude, the cold water tap's that one."

Rin glanced at the floor then grinned, shame-faced as he wrapped the robe more closely around himself. "The hot water in the old dorm is pretty luke-warm, I guess I just wasn't expecting HOT hot water. It looks worse than it is."

Shima shook his head as he grabbed his shampoo. "Only you, Okumura," he said as he let himself out of the bathroom and promptly bumped into Izumo.

"What did he do now?" the girl asked, her heavy eyebrows drawing together.

"Burned himself taking a bath," Shima explained.

"Oi! Shut the door!" Rin complained. "Girls ain't supposed to be into peeping."

"And boys aren't supposed to monopolize the bathroom," Izumo called back. "You have ten minutes then I'm kicking you out, clothed or not."


	4. Raising Concerns

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter 4: Raising Concerns**

/What're you doing?/ Kuro asked curiously watching as Yukio poured a measure of holy water in a basin for Rin.

"Kuro, stay away from there!" Rin ordered, pulling the Cat Sith away. He put Kuro down outside the bathroom and shut the door.

/Humph!/ Kuro sniffed and raced outside to the window. He hopped up on the ledge and squeezed back in just in time to see Rin wiping down his arms with the caustic-to-demons mixture. /Rin!/ Kuro exclaimed and jumped down. Fur bristling, Kuro hissed at Yukio, /That's bad stuff! Why'd you give that to Rin?/

Rin grabbed Kuro by the scruff of the neck. "Cut that out. Yukio's helping me."

"What's wrong with him?" Yukio asked as Kuro sniffed, /Doesn't look like any help I'd want./

"He doesn't understand," Rin said, then turned to Kuro. "My demonic-aura makes people want to kill me. This helps cleanse me."

/That's silly, you don't feel bad to me,/ Kuro objected. /Nothing like Coal Tars or other nasty things come alive./ He squirmed free and planted himself protectively between Rin and Yukio.

"Well, I wouldn't to you, you're a demon too," Rin argued.

Yukio pushed up his glasses and frowned darkly at Kuro. "Demons lie, they try to trick you. It's what they do."

Rin looked hurt, "I know you're trying to help me, Yukio. But Kuro's just worried. What would you think if you walked in cold and saw someone putting acid in my bathing water?"

/_Shiro _never said anything about that to me,/ Kuro objected. /He never said I felt evil. You shouldn't do this./ The Cat Sith's tails thrashed as he glared at Yukio. /I don't trust him./

"Well I do." Rin stated. "If Yukio says my aura's evil, it is." When Kuro looked ready to protest more Rin put a hand over the Cat Sith's mouth. "Maybe you're different. You used to be a protective spirit, you just got angry about being forgotten. Satan is my father, my blood is evil. That's the way it is and we're not talking about it anymore."

Yukio sat back, the tension in his expression fading into satisfaction.

* * *

><p>A few days later, early in the morning, before Yukio's alarm went off, Kuro slipped into the bathroom at the Old Dorm. After a quick check to make sure he was alone he leapt up on the top of the mirror and snaked one paw behind it. With a quick flick he pushed Rin's stash of holy water off the hidden ledge and watched with satisfaction as the vials shattered against the floor.<p>

Later that morning Kuro hid behind the towel hamper when Rin came in and found the damage. Rin fretted for several minutes then scrubbed up in a rush and ran out. A few moments later Kuro trotted out of the bathroom, his tails waving in a pleased manner.

Then, after checking that Rin and Yukio had both left for their classes, Kuro went to the twins' dorm room. Yukio's Exorcist supplies were all locked in the chest at the foot of his bed. Kuro considered it for a long time; there really wasn't a discrete way to open it for someone lacking hands, so he transformed into his full-sized form and simply smashed the lock. Twenty minutes later all of Yukio's holy water supplies were in a puddle evaporating off the dorm's floor.

With a certain air of smugness, Kuro curled up on Rin's pillow and took a nap.

* * *

><p>Rin peeled open one grudging eye as he groped for the snooze button on his alarm clock. It took him several moments to locate it since it had been knocked to the floor by his last effort to silence it. By the time he found the clock he was too awake to pretend he hadn't noticed how late it was.<p>

With a groan, Rin rolled out of bed. He stretched and yawned then headed toward the bathroom. When he saw the broken glass on the floor and his stash of holy water seeping into the mortar between the tiles, Rin really woke up. For a moment he just stared in disbelief. Then he wiggled the mirror a little and checked his hiding place wondering if slamming the door too hard might have caused the vials he'd put there to fall.

Rin paced back and forth across the bathroom. He was already going to be late for class, but he didn't want to go without purifying himself first. Rin knew Yukio would notice if he borrowed some holy water from his twin's supplies, Yukio had always been anal about his possessions. Besides Yukio kept all his Exorcists supplies locked up. He paced back and forth several more times then came to a decision and dressed as quickly as he could.

Rather than going straight to class Rin detoured to the campus church and filled up a flask from the font at the door. He dropped a few coins in the offering box as payment and apology then hurried away toward one of the campus gyms. With classes already in session the locker room was deserted, to Rin's relief. He used a bit of the holy water he'd taken to clean up before heading to class.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Moriyama glanced up when the chime over her shop's door rang, "Yukio-kun, it's a surprise to see you here so late," she said.<p>

Yukio scowled. "Rin's familiar destroyed a number of my Exorcist supplies," he explained crossly. "He treats it like a pet and now it's behaving like one. Rin's always so irresponsible."

"Maybe he's lonely," Mrs. Moriyama suggested. "Shiemi's relationship with her familiar is a bit odd as well, she never seems to unsummon that little thing. I think she likes having someone to talk to. You know she's always been more comfortable with her plants than with people and I suppose a greenman is more plant than person, but a bit more animated than her daffodils. Maybe your Rin is feeling the same." The heavy set woman smiled sympathetically. "How about I give you a 'lousy day discount'," she offered.

"I couldn't accept," Yukio protested.

"Nonsense," Mrs. Moriyama declared. "Even though you're a ranked Exorcist, I know you're a student as well and I've never known a student who couldn't use a discount. Besides after what you did for Shiemi I'd happily stock you for free, if I could get you to accept."

"Thank you, a discount would be appreciated," Yukio allowed. "I really didn't budget for losing that many supplies. The lock on my chest smashed, my entire supply of holy water lost, a number of wards spoiled by the water damage. It was just dumb luck that Kuro didn't get a face full of holy water when he set off my hand grenades."

* * *

><p>Kuro had just overturned Rin's supply of holy water for the third morning running when the bathroom lights suddenly came on. He turned and saw Rin standing by the door and guiltily drew back his paw.<p>

"Maybe once it could 've gotten knocked over by accident, but not every day," Rin said. He closed the door then sat on the floor and patted his leg. Reluctantly Kuro hopped down and went to sit in Rin's lap. For a moment the half-demon silently stroked Kuro's back. "I know you don't like it when I purify myself," he said after a while.

/It hurts you and you don't need it. You are not bad!/ Kuro insisted.

"My whole life, I've always driven people away, made them hate me," Rin said. "Here, for the first time in my life I think I may have made friends. The other kids in cram school aren't scared of me. They don't call me a demon, even though I am one. Yukio showed me how to fix myself and it's working. I've got friends!"

/It has to be some other reason,/ Kuro insisted.

Rin shook his head. "It hurts a little, but it's not bad in comparison. I could have lost Yukio, he could have started really hating me the way everybody else always ended up hating me eventually. I really do need this, so please cut it out okay? It's not like you're actually stopping me anyway. You're just ticking off my first period teacher cause I'm never on time anymore."

Kuro's tails curled between his legs and he lowered his head.

"And really, seriously, don't mess up Yukio's stuff again," Rin continued. "It does NOT make him happy. I mean I'm almost positive he was just blowing off steam when he mentioned boobytrapping his chest, but you shouldn't risk it. My scaredy-cat little brother is actually pretty scary when he's mad."

/I don't like it Rin,/ Kuro protested.

"Please?" Rin asked. "Yukio was going on about how you're not really my familiar and it'd be bad if people start thinking I can't control you."

* * *

><p>Rin refilled his flask from the font at the church entrance and was just turning to leave when someone shouted his name. He shoved the flask in his pocket then turned back reluctantly. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw a familiar priest with curly brown hair hurrying up the aisle between the pews, "Nagatomo, what are you doing here?" Rin said breaking into a grin.<p>

"Well, the monastery was extremely peaceful and quiet with you and your brother gone," Nagatomo replied cheerily. "I just couldn't take all that calm contemplation of spiritual matters. So when I saw an opening at the campus church I asked to be posted here."

"You liking it?" Rin asked.

"A young congregation suits me," He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "It's bit awkward when half of the people in the room are wondering what some young whippersnapper is doing up at the pulpit."

Rin snickered.

"I was hoping I'd see you and Yukio at Mass," Nagatomo nudged gently.

"Well, you know Yukio's a teacher at Cram School as well as a regular student. He's crazy busy," Rin made excuses.

"And what about you?" Nagatomo asked. "It's not as if you have to attend early Mass. If I had my druthers I'd sleep in myself, but that's what the second Mass is for: Catching all you lazy-bones."

Rin stared at the floor at his feet. Nagatomo waited patiently. "Didn't figure anybody'd want me there," Rin muttered hunching his shoulders.

"Why ever not?" Nagatomo asked.

Rin glanced around nervously. "You know," he said. " 'Cause of who my father is."

"You're the same person you've always been," Nagatomo replied firmly. "And when did Father Fujimoto ever let either you or Yukio skip Mass?"

"Yeah, I guess," Rin hedged.

"So I'll see you Sunday?" Nagatomo pressed.

Rin nodded quickly. "I better get to class," he said.

As he started to get up Nagatomo put a hand on his arm. "Rin?" he asked. "Are you and Yukio having financial difficulties?"

"I'm cooking so we stay away from that debt-factory cafeteria," Rin said quickly. "Why'd you ask?"

Nagatomo glanced toward the holy water font. "Because this isn't the first morning when I've refilled the holy water only to find it low a half-hour later."

Rin flushed.

Nagatomo frowned. "I know Exorcist supplies are expensive, but I don't want you counting on that stuff in a battle. In an open basin like that it's exposed to the world's evils; unlike the stuff at an Exorcist's shop which is sealed as soon as it's blessed and kept sealed until use; it doesn't have the same punch."

"Really?" Rin asked worriedly.

Nagatomo signed. "If you come talk to me, I could give you some of our stores, just don't take it from the font anymore, please. I don't want you getting hurt because of second-hand supplies."

"Thanks," Rin said, refusing to meet Nagatomo's eyes. "I guess I'll be seeing you around. I really got to get to class now."

* * *

><p>Rin had been going about his business, searching the amusement park for the troublesome ghost when a demon with the look of a teenage boy in antiquated clothes suddenly showed up.<p>

"How's this work?" Amaimon remarked as he snatched the Koma Sword slung across Rin's back.

"Give that back! Who are you?" Rin demanded as he lunged after his sword.

The demon leapt back lightly, keeping the sword out of Rin's reach. "Amaimon, Demon King of Earth, I'm sort of your brother, I guess." He discarded Rin's red sword bag and grasped the Koma sword as if to unsheath it.

"Stop!" Rin shouted. He glanced around fearfully, worried that his classmates might be nearby, then threw himself at Amaimon in a reckless bid to get the sword back.

Amaimon dodged Rin's attack, he kicked the younger boy as he went past. Rin fell to his knees and Amaimon drew the sword part way out of it's sheath. Satan's blue flames exploded from Rin's flesh.

Smirking, Amaimon drew and sheathed the sword several times while avoiding Rin's increasingly hopeless efforts at snatching it back. 'It is sort of amusing watching younger brother burst into flames over and over again like that and getting all huffy over it,' Amaimon decided. 'I've never had a younger brother to harass before, always been the youngest. I'm starting to see why all my bastard older brothers like visiting me.'

Rin sank to his knees and wrapped his arms around himself. Amaimon tilted his head to one side curiously. He didn't think they'd been running around enough to explain the strange way his little brother was gasping for air as if he couldn't breath.

"I can't see why the family's so interested in you," Amaimon remarked trying to elicit a more entertaining response. He rested the Koma sword casually on against his shoulder as he stood over Rin.

"Give it back," Rin pled, he didn't bother looking up at Amaimon. With the sword drawn, Rin's nails were more like claws and he dug them into his arms. To the Earth King it looked like Rin was trying to scrape the blue flames off his body. Of course it did no good but Amaimon noted that his little brother was managing to claw up quite a bit of skin, leaving bloody furrows from his wrists to shoulders.

Amaimon stood there for several minutes watching Rin's blood make patterns on the sidewalk then he sheathed the Koma Sword. "You're no fun," he declared and gently set the sword on the ground beside Rin. He turned and walked away.

A quarter of an hour later Rin's classmates came looking for him when he failed to turn up after Shiemi reported that the ghost had been dealt with. They found him curled around his sword laying on the blood splattered pavement clutching the sword as if his life depended on it. The gashes on his arms were still seeping blood.

Shiemi gasped and ran to Rin. Kneeling at his side she started bandaging his wounds with long flat leaves produced by her familiar. At her touch Rin closed his eyes tightly and curled in on himself even more.

"Okumura, what happened?" Bon demanded.

Eyes still closed Rin hunched his shoulders as if trying to block out Bon's voice. The other Exwires glanced at each other, at a loss as to what could make Rin react like that. "Some sort of demon attack?" Izumo offered with no surety. No one else had a better explanation.

"We should get him back to the school," Konekomaru suggested.

"I don't think he wants us touching him," Shima said, directing the other's attention to the way Rin shied away from Shiemi's ministrations.

"We should get Yuki-chan," Shiemi decided with a firm nod of her head. "He'll know what to do."

* * *

><p>Amaimon found Mephisto observing from high above the amusement park. "That was no fun," the younger demon complained. "I don't like playing with things that are already broken."<p>

Mephisto frowned. "That... wasn't what I expected." He thought about it for several moments. "Taking control of his heart from him might not have been a good idea." He tapped the tip of his umbrella against the sole of his shoe several times as he considered the situation. "Perhaps losing control of his flames reminded him of Shiro's possession. He is half-human, they can be deeply affected by loss and in strange ways."

"Humans are weird," Amaimon agreed.

"Hmph." Mephisto waved his umbrella about ending up pointing it at Amaimon. "Your approach was all wrong, not at all fitting. Don't blame me if you didn't get your fun. Obviously you have to make our baby brother draw the sword himself if you want to play with him."

* * *

><p>"Yukio," Rin called plaintively and the younger twin glanced up the stairs to see Rin with the comforter from his bed wrapped around his shoulders.<p>

"You should be in bed," Yukio said. "You'd gone into shock by the time your classmates got me."

Rin scratched absently at the back of his hand. "Could I do another ritual? Please?" he asked. "He took the sword and I couldn't stop the flames. I can still feel them on me. Please, I feel dirty."

"I shouldn't have let you do one," Yukio said severely. "You're hurt, your body needs to focus on healing your wounds."

"You wouldn't stay in the room with me," Rin said. "Please? It's like ants crawling all over me. It's driving me nuts. Please?" Rin's hand crept up to itch at his neck.

With his powers sealed Rin couldn't do as much damage to himself but Yukio noticed several raw patches of skin. "Okay," he sighed. "And I'll finish my homework in our room, promise."

Rin smiled in relief.

The next morning, Yukio was surprised to hear Rin's alarm clock go off. "Why are you getting up?" he asked. "Even if you weren't getting over injuries it's Sunday."

"Yeah, I'm going to Mass," Rin said. "I ran into Father Nagatomo the other day, turns out he got reposted to the campus church. I told him you were really busy, but don't be surprised if he stops by to guilt you into going."

Yukio looked alarmed. For several minutes he couldn't seem to think of what he wanted to say. He took several steadying breaths. "Rin, what the hell are you thinking, you can't go to Mass."

"Nagatomo knows I'm demon and he told me to come," Rin argued.

"Well obviously he wasn't thinking straight," Yukio declared. "He always was a scatterbrain. THINK Rin, you have to keep being a demon secret. How can you do that at Mass? It would probably KILL you to take Sacrament. You can't even walk in the door of the church without giving away that you're a demon. PEOPLE don't burn when they touch holy water!"

"Right," Rin said disheartened. He turned off his alarm clock and pulled his blankets over his head.

* * *

><p>Father Nagatomo smiled at the lady manning the True Cross Academy's registrar's desk. "Hi, could you tell me where Okumura Rin is staying. I was expecting to see him at Mass this Sunday and he didn't turn up."<p>

"Don't you have his phone number?" the lady asked frowning.

Nagatomo shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "Guilt trips work better in person and if something happened, well, Rin's likely to try to hide it."

All he earned was a suspicious look. But Mephisto happened to be strolling through the area looking for someone to dump paperwork on. He stared at Nagatomo for a moment, "You were one of the Exorcists at Shiro's Monastery," he said. "And you're checking up on Rin-kun. You might be useful. He and Yukio are staying at the Old Men's Dorm, don't worry about the room number, they're the only people in the building, easy enough to find."

Nagatomo's expression turned thunderous at that. "Discretion Father," Mephisto tsked, he grabbed Nagatomo by the elbow and started steering him toward his office.

Once the door closed Nagatomo shook off Mephisto's hold. "You're isolating Rin? What the hell are you thinking? Do have any idea how hard Father Fujimoto had to work to keep Rin from thinking he was less than human all these years? And now you're treating him like he's some sort of dangerous beast! You of all people!"

"Well isn't he?" Mephisto sat down at his desk and smiled his most irritating smile, then waited to see what he might learn.

"Rin's never gotten in a fight that wasn't provoked," Nagatomo declared. "Yes, when he was a small child he didn't understand how much stronger he was than everyone else and what should have been a childhood scuffle turned into serious injuries. But Rin wasn't even seven years old, he couldn't be expected to understand. How was he supposed to feel when the very same teacher who told Yukio he had to deal with bullies for himself called Rin a monster for doing just that? And even that wasn't enough to satisfy that woman, she had to make sure every other teacher Rin would have for the next eight years would also look at him as a monster before they even met him and warn all their students about how dangerous he was. And now he's here and once again he's being set apart from everyone."

"Rin has recently come into possession of powers that he does not understand nor does he have full control over. Is it not my responsibility to consider the well-being of _all _my students?" Mephisto asked lightly. When Nagatomo couldn't answer, Mephisto added, "Besides, I did tell you where to find Rin. Don't you have better things to do with your time than complain to me about how I deal with him?"

Nagatomo grimaced and left the True Cross Administration building. He hurried across campus to the Old Dorm and rang the bell. Several minutes later Rin opened the door. "You weren't at…" Nagatomo started then broke off as he noticed the bandages peeking out from Rin's sleeves. "What happened?" he asked.

Rin looked away. "Got into some holy water. Sorry about Mass, but I really don't think God wants me there." He shut the door and left a speechless Nagatomo standing on the steps.


	5. Into the Woods

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter 5: Into the Woods**

Yukio stepped back and wiped the aloe off his hands. Rin sighed in disappointment. "You'll have to forego your treatments during next week's training camp," Yukio said. "The camp is to be treated as a mission. You have to be ready at all times. Some of the exercises will be at night so you can't count on downtime to recover."

Rin's expression turned stubborn, but Yukio continued before he could object. "You also can't count on the privacy needed to carry out your purification. It will be hard enough to keep your tail hidden."

Rin bit his lip at the disgust in his brother's voice at the mention of Rin's tail. "Maybe I should just forget about _washing _at all for a week," he said sulkily

"Better than being discovered," Yukio replied coolly. "You are an abomination Rin. You killed Father Fujimoto. Your birth brought about the Blue Night, killing thousands of clergy and Exorcists. Suguro is a model student, but when you're around he gets in fights. Izumo, another promising Exorcist, freezes, nearly getting herself and her friend killed." Yukio continued. "You did notice that once you were removed from the equation your classmates were able to pull together and form an effective team?"

Rin hunched his shoulders, accepting the latest sins Yukio laid at his doorstep without protest.

Yukio took off his glasses and polished them. He hesitated then sighed. "Giving birth to Satan's child is almost certainly why our mother died," he said. Rin stared up at him, shocked that Yukio could say such a thing, horrified that it might be the truth. Yukio continued, "Being around you brings out the worst in people. And next week the effect will be worst than ever. For your sake and your classmates' you need to keep your distance. The speech I gave your class about teamwork? It doesn't apply to you. You're most effective when you can cut loose with your flames, but they're a danger to anyone around you and every time you use them you become more like your father, Satan. You're like the plague. And even if you managed to control yourself enough to not kill your teammates, they'll want to kill you once they realize what you are. Just by being born you did more damage to the world's Exorcists than a century of normal demon attacks could have done. No one wants something like you around Rin."

"What about you?" Rin asked in a tiny voice.

Yukio gingerly reached out and hugged Rin. "You'll alway be my twin," he said.

For a moment Rin let himself lean into Yukio, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. Then Rin sat up and scrubbed at his eyes angrily. "Sorry," he said. "I- I'm trying to- I don't know, to not be me, I guess."

* * *

><p>Rin stood uncertainly outside the campus church for several minutes, then resolutely he went inside. He was looking for Father Nagatomo's office when the youthful priest found him.<p>

"Rin! I'm glad you're here," Nagatomo greeted him.

"I, um, I ran out of holy water again." Rin said staring at the floor. "We're having that training camp this week so I wanted to stock up. Unless you don't want to anymore, since I'm not going to Mass."

"It was never an exchange. I don't want you to get hurt because of bad supplies. I want you to come to church. They're two entirely separate things," Nagatomo said guiding Rin toward the church's supply room. "Although I can understand why you aren't comfortable with Mass anymore. I've been thinking about what you said ever then."

"What's to think about," Rin said. "I'm a demon, an abomination, God doesn't want me around."

"But I don't believe that," Nagamoto said. "That's what's to think about: Why would God allow holy water to burn someone like you who is no more sinful than any other 16 year-old I've met. I know you Rin, you aren't your father. You're kind and well-meaning, and extremely protective of everyone around you. Why would holy water burn you?"

"I'm still a demon," Rin stated.

"What do you know about Rh factors?" Nagamoto asked. "It's a subset of blood type." he said at Rin's blank look.

"It has something to do with your horoscope?" Rin asked still looking puzzled.

Nagatomo shook his head, "Nothing to do with horoscopes. If an Rh negative woman becomes pregnant with an Rh positive baby her immune system may attack the baby. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with the baby or that the baby isn't wanted, just that the mother's immune system didn't recognized it." Nagatomo explained. "Holy water is Assiah's defense against Gehenna, but it doesn't distinguish between a Benevolent Spirit and a Coal Tar. I don't think Holy Water judges the intentions of a being. It doesn't judge if a being is good or evil, just whether they're of Assiah or Gehenna."

"Still means I don't belong here," Rin said with a shrug. "That I don't belong in Assiah. Thanks for saving the holy water for me."

* * *

><p>Rin deposited a load of firewood at the edge of the Exwire's camp and tried not to watch Shiemi and Izumo's painful attempt at cooking. He understood Yukio's motives behind his division of labor: Shiemi's clumsiness would be a disaster if she helped set up tents. Teaming Shima with either of the girls was asking for trouble; if not with Shiemi herself then with Rin or possibly Yukio if the other boy tried hitting on her with his usual lack of taste. Finally, assigning Rin to gather firewood let him keep his demonic aura to himself without it being suspicious. Rin still wished he could have shown off his one talent for his classmates instead of being relegated to the outskirts of the group. Not to mention it was hard <em>not <em>to get involved when Izumo held her knife like she expected the vegetables to attack her and Shiemi was enthusiastically adding an unconscionable amount of _every _spice at her disposal to the food.

Bon had successfully organized the other two boys and the tents were going up in an efficient manner. Rin imagined he'd probably cause more problems than he'd solve there, given his unnatural strength, but it still would have been nice to be part of the group.

Off to one side Yukio was setting up the tent he'd share with Rin. Officially the sleeping arrangements were: One tent for the girls, naturally, one for the boys and a third for Yukio because he was their teacher. But that left the boy's tent a bit crowded and Rin was Yukio's brother, they had shared a room since birth so it just made sense for Rin to stay in the teacher's tent with Yukio. In reality, Rin knew it was another way of giving the human Exwires some relief from his presence.

Rin found himself dreading the thought of sharing such cramped quarters with Yukio for a whole week without being able to perform his purification ritual. He'd done what he could to compensate but Rin seriously doubted that his measures would be anywhere near enough. 'I wonder what the odds are that Yukio ends up being driven to shoot me before the week's out.' Rin thought to himself with a certain amount of gallows humor. 'Maybe I'd be better off sleeping in the woods with the other demons.'

After dinner, politely choked down to avoid giving offense, Yukio outlined the Exwire's first training exercise: the retrieval of several lanterns from the darkened woods.

The Exwires split up and set out to accomplish their mission. Almost as soon as they left the camp the teens were beset by hordes of moth-like demons. The moths swarmed around Rin, but as soon as they got close to him they pulled back making high-pitched noises of disgust. In another area of the forest Shiemi screamed as the moths tore her summoning circle and dispelled Nii-chan.

Without a moment's thought Rin changed direction and sprinted toward the sound of Shiemi's scream. He found her passed out on the ground, a swarm of moths hovering over her. Rin dove into the cloud of insects, batting them aside until he was crouched over Shiemi, shielding her with his body.

A short while later Bon broke into the clearing, he quickly collected Rin and Shiemi's dropped flashlights and turned them off. After a bit the moths dispersed. "The light was drawing them," he explained. "You two okay?"

Rin sat up and peered at Shiemi in the dim moonlight. "I think she just fainted."

"How about you?" Bon demanded.

"I'm fine. I guess they didn't like the taste of me… might be the holy water I spilled while I was packing." Rin thought that sounded better than saying 'I soaked all my clothes in holy water before the trip because I don't want you to start hating me. I'd be more comfortable if I'd rolled in poison ivy, but hey, it keeps those damn moths away.'

The two boys jumped at the sound of a large creature crashing madly through the brush. Then Bon chuckled. "Yo Shima, Okumura's wearing demon-bug repellent!"

Shima all but tackled Rin. He wrapped an arm around the squirming half-demon, tugging Rin close. "You're my new best friend," the pink-haired boy declared.

Rin flushed hotly.

"Losing your head over a bunch of demon bugs, and you call yourself an Exorcist," Bon tsked.

Shima shuttered. "It's not the demon part that's the problem," he protested.

Shiemi woke up just as both Bon and Shima's phones went off. Shortly there after the four Exwires rendezvoused with Konekomaru and put a plan into action to combine their talents to get the unexpectedly large, heavy and demonic lantern back to camp.

It looked like everything was going to go smoothly, even a stream full of demon insects proved to be only a minor hiccup. Or at least that was the impression until Rin disturbed the seals on the demon imprisoned there.

One moment Rin was feeling good: They'd managed the crossing, his idea about soaking his clothes in holy water seemed to be working beyond his wildest dreams. He was even starting to think about how this camp might actually be fun, a chance to hang out with friends like a normal kid. The next moment he was dangling high above the forest floor, entangled in the proboscis of a giant, mothra-sized moth.

Rin froze, he was certain he could defeat the creature with his flames, but he couldn't use those flames with his friends present. Even if he got them to leave him behind the flames would burn away the holy water in his clothes and eradicate any lingering effects of the purifications he'd performed before the trip. If he used the flames his aura would be deeply corrupted and there would be nothing he could do to change that until after the camp was over. His fledgling friendships with the other Exwires would definitely be doomed, like every other time Rin had tried to make friends.

Rin knew he should send the others away and just deal with the demon. He knew losing his friends shouldn't carry the same weight as losing his life, but it did.

While Rin was paralyzed by indecision Bon grabbed Shima's staff, affixed a seal to it and attacked the giant demon, forcing it to drop Rin. Bon pulled the smaller boy to his feet. "Grab the cart and run!" he commanded urgently.

Bon and Shima both lent their strength to Rin's. The boys' furious effort, aided by sheer adrenaline, allowed them to out distance the giant moth and lose it in the forest. But the whole time they were fleeing Rin was thinking about how his selfishness had endangered his friends. If he'd sent them on ahead he could have dealt with the demon. Hell, even if he'd lost the fight they would have had that much more of a lead. But because he'd let himself worry about them liking him their lives had been endangered.

"I think we lost it," Bon said.

Shima slumped against the cart with an exhausted sigh of relief.

Rin planted himself in front of Bon. "Don't ever try to protect me again," he said angrily.

Bon glared down at Rin, "What is your problem!" he demanded. "You're always pulling crap like that, trying to go off on your own. You don't have to do everything yourself! Don't forget, you have friends."

"And I don't want them getting hurt because of me!" Rin shouted.

"But it's fine if you get hurt?" Bon asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Rin exclaimed without a moment's thought. "My dad died protecting me! He shouldn't have, I'm not worth it."

The other Exwires stared at Rin, even Bon was shocked silent. Rin grabbed the cart and started dragging it back toward the camp again, refusing to even look at the others.

When the subdued group made it back to camp they found Izumo was already there, having somehow managed to secure another of the lanterns by herself and in less time than they had. Before the dark-haired girl could really warm up to needling them about taking so long the demon king from the amusement park attacked.

Yukio and Rin immediately pushed their way to the front, planting themselves solidly between Amaimon and the rest of the group.

"Hey," Amaimon said, he waved to Rin. "Ready to play, little brother?"

Rin clutched the Koma Sword in a death grip, determined that Amaimon wouldn't snatch it from him again.

Amaimon's lips twitched, "That's not what I'm after this time."

Yukio frowned, "No way he got in here without help," he muttered to himself. "What sort of game is Mephisto playing?"

The Earth King held out his hand and Shiemi started walking toward him, a dazed look on her face. Konekomaru and Shima tried to grab her but Shiemi slipped past them. Amaimon charged the camp, he darted past Rin and Yukio, scooped up Shiemi then paused at the far edge of the clearing. "I had the moth lay an egg in her," he explained. "Now she'll do whatever I say."

"What do you want with her?" Rin demanded.

Amaimon shrugged, he glanced over the girl in his arm, "I suppose I could marry her," he decided on the spot.

Rin saw red, he charged after Amaimon. The Earth King darted back into the trees taking Shiemi with him. Yukio fired a bullet into the ground just in front of Rin's foot, breaking his charge and forcing him to jump back. Rin turned toward Yukio, "What the hell!" he exclaimed.

"I'll go after Shiemi, the rest of you, STAY HERE!" Yukio ordered fiercely. He glared at Rin. "Don't even think of coming after me. If you learned anything at all from Father's death, you'll do what you're told for once in your life!"

With that Yukio took off after Amaimon. Rin and Bon both followed to the very edge of the clearing, torn between obeying orders and the need to do something.

A few minutes later Yukio crashed back into the camp, he landed in a heap. Amaimon reappeared on a tree branch, still holding Shiemi. "I thought you cared about this girl," he said to Rin. "I guess not, well in that case, I don't need her. Still I've got a cousin who's into the occult, collects eyes." He raised a clawed hand toward Shiemi's face.

This time there was no one to hold Rin back and Bon was only a few steps behind him until Shima grabbed his friend's shoulder. "Bon, calm down."

Bon glared at him, "You heard Okumura before," he growled. "He's messed up. What he cares about most is making sure he's the next to die. To hell with that! I'm getting them BOTH back alive."

Shima nodded, he let go of Bon then followed the faux-hawked boy into the forest after Rin. Konekomaru hurried after his two friends.

"Do you all want to die!" Izumo shouted from where she knelt beside Yukio. The young teacher was only just starting to come around. No one paid her any mind.

"It doesn't matter if they all hate me after this," Rin yelled at Amaimon as he chased after the demon king. "Because if anything happened to Shiemi and I could have stopped it? I'd hate myself… more than I do already."

"Then stop talking and get serious," Amaimon complained.

Rin slid the Koma Sword out of it's bag just as the other three boys caught up. He glanced toward them, "Sorry," he said quietly and drew his sword. Instantly he was engulfed in blue flames, his ears and fangs lengthened, his tail sprung free of his clothing and the flames coalesced to shape horns on his head.

Amaimon grinned. "About time," he said as he tossed Shiemi aside.

Konekomaru cringed away, staring at Rin in horror. Shima barely seemed to notice Shiemi landing practically in his arms. "What the hell are you?" Bon exclaimed.

Rin attacked Amaimon in a fury. "Look at what you made me do!" he screamed. "They were my friends! You made me! You made me!"

Amaimon could only fall back in the face of such an unrelenting attack. The older demon took advantage of Rin's unguarded tail and yanked it with all his strength, but to his and the watching Mephisto's shock Rin shrugged off the pain as if it were nothing. Constant exposure to holy water had raised his pain-tolerance to an unhealthy level. Between that and his mental state the pulled tail barely registered with Rin.

The beat-down Rin was dishing out did nothing to burn off his rage. In fact the longer it went on the more his flames intensified and spread until they could be seen for miles around. "Alright boys, that's quite enough," Mephisto declared with a worried glance toward his school. He stepped between his two younger brothers.

"I'm not beaten," Amaimon protested. Mephisto could see the Earth King was preparing to unseal his own heart.

"You both need a timeout," Mephisto stated. "But I only have room for one, so I suppose it will have to suffice to separate you. Drei! Zwei! Eins!"

A giant cuckoo clock appeared and dragged Amaimon inside. Rather than standing down, Rin turned his fury on the clock, battering it with his sword.

Down below a number of high-ranked Exorcists, including a man dressed in an elaborate, all-white get-up, had gathered. They stared at Rin with hostile eyes.

Mephisto was about to grab Rin by the scruff of his neck when a bullet whizzed past, just nicking one of Rin's elongated ears. The demonically transformed boy turned and saw Yukio sighting down the barrel of his gun, his cheeks stained with tears. "Not even once! You just couldn't do what you were told even once! And look at you! Just look at you!" Yukio cried.

Rin stopped, he looked around and realized that he was the only threat left. Around him he saw nothing but frightened or angry faces. The Koma Sword and it's sheathe dropped from his hands as he collapsed to his knees. His flames guttered.

The man in white stepped forward and cracked Rin over the head, rendering him unconscious. "Mephisto Pheles, the Vatican has long suspected that you and Shiro Fujimoto were plotting behind their backs. And now I, Arthur Auguste Angel, finally have the proof of it." He used his sheathed sword to snag Rin's collar and hoisted the unconscious boy up, without contacting the flames still flickering around him.

Mephisto smiled toothily. "And it's lovely to see you too."

"The Grigori will convene shortly to determine the extent of your sins," Angel declared glaring at Mephisto. "Do not attempt to flee."

"Why ever would I want to do that?" Mephisto asked lightly. He turned his back on Angel to collected the Koma Sword and it's sheathe from where they had fallen.

"Hey that's-" Bon protested staring at the sword.

"I'll explain everything," Yukio promised, herding the Exwires away inspite of Bon's efforts.

Mephisto paused in the middle of sheathing the sword. "Oh my," he declared, running his fingers delicately over a crack in the blade.

Yukio stopped and turned back. The Exwires immediately crowded around Mephisto as well. "What does that mean from Rin?" Yukio demanded.

"It is!" Bon exclaimed. "That's Kurikara. It's a sacred relic of the Myodha!"

"The Koma Sword was used to seal Okumura-kun's demon heart at his birth," Mephisto explained. "A demon's heart is a paradoxical thing: a source of both power and vulnerability." He turned to Yukio. "With the sword cracked Rin's heart is practically laid bare." Then he glanced toward the Exwires. "And he is far from ready to control the full force of his powers. If the sword breaks the blue flames will rage out of control until Rin dies."

Mephisto bowed slightly to Yukio and the Exwires then handed the sword to Bon. "As you say, this belongs to the Myodha. Now my presence has been requested elsewhere." With a small wave over his shoulder Mephisto strolled away.

Bon and the others turned on Yukio. "Why does Rin have that blue flame?" Bon demanded. "Why does he have Kurikara? What is going on?"

Yukio signed. "I suppose you have a right to know. Rin is the bastard child of Satan and a human woman."

"Um, Teach," Shima raised his hand. "Not to belabor the obvious or anything, but you and Rin are twins."

"Only Rin inherited Satan's flames," Yukio stated. "I'm completely human. Believe me, that has been thoroughly tested."

"As Sir Pheles said, the Koma Sword was used to seal Rin's demon heart away," Yukio continued. "Our foster-father, Father Shiro Fujimoto, the former Paladin chose to raise Rin as a human being. Until earlier this year Rin didn't even know demons existed, let alone that he was one."

"Why?" Izumo asked. "And what changed?"

"Father Fujimoto wanted to protect Rin's innocence as much as possible," Yukio explained with a hint of bitterness. "It didn't work. Eventually Rin's powers grew so strong that the sword couldn't contain them anymore. They started leaking past the seal, which allowed Rin to be targeted by other demons. Father Fujimoto was killed keeping Rin from Satan."

"Why is he here?" Konekomaru asked fearfully.

"Guardianship over Rin passed to Sir Pheles," Yukio said. "The True Cross Academy is one of the few places on Earth where Rin's presence can be hidden from Satan. And you all know Rin's goal."

"What's going to happen to Rin now?" Shiemi asked timidly. "What should we do?"

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to repair Kurikara," Bon declared. "It's a sacred relic of my temple and it's not breaking on my watch."

"And what about Okumura and his connection to the sword?" Izumo asked.

Bon turned on her angrily. "I'm fixing the sword now, I'll figure out what I think about Okumura Rin later!"

No one mentioned that, from what Mephisto had said, if the sword weren't repaired it was unlikely that Rin would have a later.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I'm starting to mix more of the Manga in; because what Angel does during the trial in the Manga version is just so over-the-top callus. Also the Anime timeline is too short for this story, so I'm planning on ignoring Ernst Frederik Eigen turning up and the final arc of the Anime. Although I am sticking with the Anime's version of Rin and Yukio's mother (since I haven't seen anything about her in the Manga).


	6. Casting Judgement

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Notes:** I'm liberally mixing things from the Manga and Anime during the trial, because what Angel does in the manga is over the top nasty, but given the damage Yukio's done Rin isn't in any shape to demand that the Grigori talk to him, deal with him as a person rather than an object like he does in the Manga. So I jump over to the Anime where Rin doesn't have to be the one to interrupt the trial.

**Chapter Six: Casting Judgement**

"Up," Angel commanded coldly as he opened the door to Rin's cell. When Rin failed to react he unsheathed his sword and put the blade to Rin's throat. "Up," he repeated, slowly lifting the sword.

Rin shivered at the sting as the blade broke the skin beneath his jaw. He blinked and stared up at the blond Paladin as if just realizing that he wasn't alone. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

"Get up!" Angel snapped. "Make me ask again and I'll present your head alone as proof of Mephisto's transgressions."

Rin used the wall to push himself to his feet while leaning away from Angel's sword. He walked out of the cell at the Paladin's wordless direction.

"Was anybody hurt when I lost it?" Rin tried again as he shuffled down the long hall of cells, head tilted awkwardly back to accommodate the Paladin's blade.

"Silence Hell-spawn!" Angel snarled and hopelessness closed in on Rin. He was going to die without even knowing. He'd given in and let his flames run riot because nothing else would have been enough to fight Amaimon, to rescue Shiemi and now his friends all loathed him. He was going to be executed. He'd never even know if they were all right. It would be worth it if he'd managed to protect them, but he was never going to know. He was going to die and he'd never get to see them again.

Rin was so lost in the downward spiral filling his thoughts that he barely noticed when the hall opened up into a vast courtroom. Three heavily robed officials sat at the head of the room on a dais raised high above all others. Mephisto stood off to one side on a much lower platform for the accused, a small smile hovering about his lips.

Angel swept his sword aside then brought the hilt down heavily between Rin's shoulder blades. The impact forced the young half-demon to his hands and knees. A sharp bolt of pain shocked Rin into the moment. He twisted to see what had happened but the thick blade of the Paladin's sword kept him from seeing what was wrong with his foot. Rin blinked several times, there was something disturbing about what he was seeing. His foot hurt fiercely. There was his leg and then the Paladin's sword right above his ankle and where was his foot? It hurt.

Rin looked wildly around the room, searching for answers. The people observing the trial wouldn't even look at him. They looked at his tail or his ears or his teeth but not at him. When Mephisto made eye contact Rin clung to the moment like a life-line. He couldn't make sense of Mephisto's expression. Was his smile reassuring or smug? But Mephisto was looking at Rin, not just a demon.

The headmaster turned back to the Grigori, talking about weapons and bets. The words blurred together in Rin's head. Mephisto broke off when the doors to the courtroom began to shake. He waited with a polite, patient expression as the Grigori dispatched Angel to deal with the disturbance.

Angel positioned himself squarely before the door, sword at the ready and nodded to a pair of Exorcists who promptly through open the doors.

Amaimon barreled into the courtroom. Finding Arthur Auguste Angel standing on the other side looking haughty, cool and deadly didn't phase Amaimon in the slightest. He charged the Paladin at full speed, ducked under Angel's sword at the last second and drove his shoulder into Angel's gut with enough force to throw the Paladin into the wall behind him, shaking the Grigori's thrones. Mephisto winced in mock sympathy as Angel pushed himself back to his feet and shoved his long hair out of his face.

Rin realized Angel's sword wasn't in the way anymore and turned to look at his foot again. He frowned, his foot was lying on it's side several inches from the end of his leg. It didn't make any sense, he could feel the agonizing pain radiating up from his foot, what was it doing over there?

"Begone demon!" Angel commanded attempting to decapitate Amaimon. The Earth King slapped the flat of Angel's blade knocking it away. The sword shrieked in outrage at being manhandled. Amaimon punched Angel in the face.

As the room descended into chaos Yukio and Rin's fellow Exwires slipped in by one of the balcony doors. Bon was holding the reforged Koma Sword. Rin noticed them, for a moment he stared at them longingly, then he realized he hadn't had the chance to purify himself after the battle in the forest and started trying to crawl away.

Mephisto smiled broadly, he turned to the Grigori. "Your champion appear to be on the ropes. Perhaps you would care to have Father Fujimoto and I's little weapon lend a hand? Now he's hardly in optimal condition, but I'd still wager that he could turn the tides." A small frown marred Mephisto's face; from what he'd seen Rin was in much worse condition, both physically and mentally than he had planned, if Amaimon forgot the script things could go very poorly.

The Grigori gave both Rin and Mephisto a distasteful look. The Earth King slammed Angel into the base of their pedestal with enough force to rock their chairs. "We accept your terms Mephisto Pheles," the central member declared. "Now deal with that thing."

Mephisto removed his top-hat and bowed grandly. "As you wish." He turned toward the Exwires and raised his hand. Bon grimaced but tossed him the Koma Sword. Mephisto leapt lightly from the defendant's stand to kneel beside Rin.

For a moment Angel glanced toward the Grigori with a look that could only be described as sulky. "Come Caliburn, let us finish this before the rift-raft interferes." he murmured to his sword.

"Oh Angel," the sword cooed.

Meanwhile Mephisto gently wrapped Rin's hands around the Koma Sword. "It's time to finish your fight," he said. "Then you can have a nice long chat with your friends." Rin only shied away. Mephisto smiled tightly then turned and glared at Amaimon. The green haired demon batted Angel to the floor one last time then with a roll of his eyes changed direction to attack the Exwires and Yukio.

"No!" Rin screamed, predictably he drew the sword unleashing his flames and threw himself into the fight… Only to promptly crash to the floor the moment he tried to stand. Undeterred, Rin came up to his knees and drew his good leg under him. He leapt at Amaimon, slashing wildly with his sword, the blue flames wreathing him seemed to reach out in answer to their master's need.

Grudgingly, Angel rejoined the battle in cooperation with Rin. Recognizing Rin's severely hampered mobility he calculated his attacks to drive Amaimon back toward Rin. As Amaimon fell back Rin threw himself on the other demon, pinning Amaimon's arms to his sides. Angel didn't hesitate to take the opening. He lunged. There was a pop of green smoke and when it cleared the Earth King was gone. Angel's sword had passed through the spot where Amaimon had been to impale Rin.

Rin smiled, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. "We won," he whispered, sheathing his sword and extinguishing his flames.

Startled Angel jerked back and Rin fell. Alarmed, the Exwires, followed by Yukio scrambled down from the balcony to Rin's side even as Mephisto swept in. Yukio quickly took charge of Rin's care while Shiemi hovered nearby. The other Exwires hung further back, sending venomous looks toward Angel.

"Wh-what happened to his foot?" Shiemi demanded in a wavering voice.

Angel took a moment to clean Rin's blood off his sword. "I cut it off. What does it matter?" he demanded irritably. "He's a demon. Unfortunately, he'll heal."

In the excitement no one noticed a small green hamster scramble into Mephisto's coat-pocket.

* * *

><p>Rin was curled up in his bed staring blankly at the wall when Mephisto swept into the twins' dorm room later that evening. "Good news!" the headmaster announced jubilantly. "Your little demonstration impressed all the right people and the Grigori have decided <em>not <em>to execute you! … Provided you pass the Exorcist Exam in six months."

Rin turned slowly toward the older demon. "He cut off my foot," Rin said dully. "Is that okay? That he cut off my foot?"

"Ah… about that," Mephisto said then smiled hugely. "I brought you a get-well present. Tada!"

"That's my foot." Rin looked appalled. His severed foot had a large purple bow tied around it and a get-well balloon attached.

Mephisto tsked. "You really should say thank you. Without my little present your foot would eventually regenerate… In a year or so. With it you'll be up and about in a trice!" He snapped his fingers and the bandages around Rin's leg unwound revealing his still oozing stump. "I would have expected more scabbing by now," Mephisto remarked to himself. "No matter, I suppose. Keeps me from needing to slice them off to get a clean rejoining."

Rin stared at the headmaster in bemusement while Mephisto lined up the bones between his leg and severed foot. "One thing you have to admit about Paladin Arthur Auguste Angel, he does make a clean cut." He snapped his fingers and a needle appeared out of thin air and painlessly stitched around Rin's ankle. Mephisto reached absently for the Koma Sword. "Now a bit of your power to get things circulating-"

Rin hugged the sword to his chest before Mephisto could touch it. "No!" he shouted.

"But, presto! Good as new," Mephisto finished with a puzzled look.

"No!" Rin repeated obstinately.

Mephisto stepped back and studied Rin carefully. He didn't particularly like what he saw: A hollow-cheeked boy clutching his sword as if it were a security blanket, staring back with wide, frightened eyes. "I do feed you, yes?" Mephisto asked with a frown.

Rin nodded still hugging his sword fearfully.

"I'm afraid Shiro might be rather annoyed with me at this moment," Mephisto said softly, then his normal maniacal grin reappeared. "Ah well, I suppose there's nothing else for it. Eins, zwei, drei!" A walking cast appeared on Rin's foot. "Allow me!" Mephisto declared. He produced a pen with a flourish then proceeded to sign Rin's cast.

"Don't draw hearts you stupid Clown!" Rin exclaimed.

Mephisto gave him a shark-like smile and patted Rin on the head. "Now there's my little student."

* * *

><p>The following day Nagatomo dropped by and found Rin halfway down the stairs, clutching the rail with both hands and trying to hop his way down. "Stay right there, before you fall!" Nagatomo exclaimed as he rushed up to Rin. He crouched on the step below, offering Rin a piggy-back ride.<p>

"I'm too old," Rin protested; trying to avoid contact with others a well established habit by now.

"You've got a cast on your leg, completely outweighs age-limitations," Nagatomo insisted determinedly. "I'm not going to stand here and watch you fall down the stairs."

Rin tentatively accepted the offer.

"Relax!" Nagatomo exclaimed. "You'd think you've never done this before, you'll overbalance me if you try to keep your distance like that... Even if you don't weigh that much." Nagatomo frowned, Rin really should weight more he couldn't help but think.

Rin sighed and slumped against Nagatomo's back, for the moment allowing himself to give in to the need for human contact. "Now where were you headed?"

"Kitchen," Rin said. Cooking had become a refuge to Rin over the past months. The kitchen a place of security and comfort, the work strongly associated with pleasant memories in Rin's mind.

"Should have known." In the kitchen Nagatomo sat Rin down on a bar stool. "You sit and supervise, I'll cook."

"You have to do what I say," Rin declared, for the moment sounding years younger. Nagatomo laughed and in a short while they had a chopping board in front of Rin and Nagatomo was being ordered between various dishes. "Now put these in the stir-fry!" Rin said handing over a bowl of chopped vegetables. "No, no, keep stirring, not so fast!"

"Bossy, bossy," Nagatomo commented.

"Now you gotta make up a bento for Yukio," Rin said. "And save some for Kuro, he went upstairs to scare off a nest of coal tars this morning. You can have the rest."

Nagatomo prepared two bentos and two plates, putting one in front of Rin.

Rin wrinkled his nose. "My stomach doesn't feel so good," he said.

"I heard you had quite the ordeal," Nagatomo said. "You need to get your strength back."

"Why bother? They're going to kill me if I can't pass a test." Rin said. "When have I ever passed a test?"

"Sir Pheles is likely to include a practical section somehow," Nagatomo said.

Rin looked up a bit hopeful, "Like the Exwire Exam? I did pass that didn't I?"

"Yeah, so study hard but don't worry too much about it," Nagatomo advised.

"I don't think those guys in the funny robes want me to pass," Rin admitted. "I know that freak Angel doesn't want me to... He cut off my foot. Nobody cared."

Nagatomo grimaced. "He shouldn't have done that, just because you can heal from things a full-blooded human couldn't doesn't make it okay to hurt you."

"I guess I've been out of circulation for too long, I'd largely forgotten how black and white the Vatican is about things," he continued. "I'm a tamer and any tamer worth their salt knows better than to think of demons as some sort of uniform evil mass. Every summons is different and it's rarely about good or evil. You have to establish a partnership with your summons, you can't just browbeat them into submissions and expect anything good to come of it."

"The guy who was teaching us summoning didn't think so," Rin said. "He lost his family on the Blue Night, so he tried to kill me after seeing my flames."

Nagatomo sighed. "Yeah, I heard. Sir Pheles has asked me to teach that class next term."

"That'll be cool," Rin said. "One teacher who doesn't hate me."

"What about Yukio?" Nagatomo asked.

Rin cringed, "He's really, really mad at me for disobeying him and getting found out. He won't even talk to me when he checks my injuries. Just 'sit here,' 'turn', 'stay in bed, don't try to lift anything'. But I couldn't just stand there and let Shiemi get hurt cause that Amaimon guy has it in for me!" Rin exclaimed. Suddenly his expression turned nervous. "Oh shit! I was supposed to stay in bed. Yukio's gonna be mad again. He doesn't even yell at me anymore, he just looks at me like he doesn't know what he did to get stuck with something like me for a brother."

"If I know Yukio, he's probably even more worried about the Vatican's ultimatum than you are," Nagatomo said. "He's always been a worrier, but taking it out on you doesn't accomplish anything. I'll try talking to him."

"Thanks," Rin said. "And maybe help me back up the stairs and tell Yukio I didn't climb 'em on my own, please?"

* * *

><p>Rin was in his room, asleep with a textbook laying across his chest and Kuro curled up by his ear when Yukio came home. The Cat Sith woke up and hissed at Yukio. "Kuro, be nice," Rin ordered with a yawn.<p>

"Father Nagatomo came looking for me today," Yukio said.

"Yeah, he stopped by. He carried me up and down the stairs and made me sit and tell him what to do so I didn't strain my stitches cooking or anything. He didn't even let me help dry the pans cause they might too heavy," Rin said quickly.

"You didn't mention your treatments?" Yukio checked.

Rin glanced away, "I might of, kind of borrowed some holy water from his church before the camp. I know you said I couldn't do the treatments, but I wanted to do _something_, so I soaked my clothes. I… well, he thought the holy water for something else and I kinda think he might be upset if I told him I was using it on me."

Yukio nodded. "Everyone from the monastery remembers you as a helpless little baby, they don't think about you burning down half the forest because you lost your temper the other week. It's hard enough for me to do what's necessary because I'm your twin, but it's worse for them. That's why they sent you to school without doing anything to stop people from hating you for being a demon: They just couldn't bring themselves to do anything that would cause you pain."

"It's not so bad," Rin insisted. "It's pretty great having friends…" his shoulders slumped. "But I guess I screwed that up. Still they brought me my sword. Do you think, maybe, they still like me a little?"

"Sir Pheles told us you'd go completely crazy if the sword broke," Yukio said. "I wouldn't read too much into it."

Rin's face fell.

"Did Nagatomo mention that the monastery was having a hard time coming up with the funds to rebuild after Father's death?" Yukio asked. "Several of the priests got transfers so they could cut costs."

Rin shook his head, looking alarmed.

"He probably didn't want you feeling bad about it," Yukio said.

* * *

><p>Between being thrown around by Amaimon, being stabbed and having his foot cut off by Angel and the on-going effect of his purifications, it took Rin several weeks before he'd healed enough to be allowed to leave the dorm. Summer break ended while he was still on officially on bedrest. During that whole time, not one of the Exwires came to visit him.<p>

A week after classes restarted Yukio made quick work of checking Rin's battle wounds and treating the latest holy water burns. "You're healing well," Yukio declared with nothing but cool professionalism. "The stab-wound is little more than a scar now, but you should keep the cast on for a bit longer. The bones are likely to still be frail where they've fused back together, you shouldn't put any undue stress on that leg yet. However, you will be able to attend class tomorrow."

Rin smiled weakly. "Great," he muttered.

Sitting through his normal classes the next day, waiting to see for himself what the other Exwires thought of him now was practically torture for Rin. In spite of Yukio's warning there was a little bit of Rin that still hoped that they'd give him a chance What with all of Bon's talk about how he wasn't alone and then the fact that they had found a way to repair his sword for him. But they'd stayed away the whole time he was recovering, and Yukio didn't think they'd accept him.

There was very little to distract Rin from his worries throughout the day. He'd never paid much attention to school at the best of times and while he'd avoided being labeled a trouble-maker at the True Cross Academy he'd also kept to himself so effectively that most the other students simply ignored his existence. The cast on his leg and late return from summer break did lead to a few curious inquiries, but the questions just reminded Rin of how the current Paladin had cut off his foot because it was a convenient means of keeping him subdued, his demon-blood making his pain irrelevant. In that courtroom he'd been nothing but a thing, not a witness or defendant, evidence. He'd only been allowed to survive because Mephisto had convinced them that he could be a useful weapon against Satan, still a just a thing.

By the time Rin headed for Cram School that afternoon he was nauseous from nerves before he even entered the room. When he walked in the first thing Rin saw was that the table he normally shared with Shiemi was empty. So where the next two rows behind his table. Shiemi, Bon, Konekomaru and Shima had all switched desks to move away from him and it wasn't as if Izumo had to bother given that the desk she had shared with Paku until the other girl dropped out had always been a bit distant from the bulk of the class.

Rin turned around and hobbled back out of the room without even trying to talk to anyone. They'd made their position perfectly clear: He wasn't wanted there. As he slowly made his way back to the old dorm Rin cursed himself for ever even letting himself hope. He should have known better, apparently they were just worried about his powers running wild without the sword and that was why they fixed it. It was just like Yukio always said, good people didn't want him around, he was abhorrent.

Even Shiemi hadn't wanted him around. She'd spent more time with him than the others, called him her friend while he'd hoped that maybe she might _like _him like him, if she ever got over her crush on his brother. If Shiemi couldn't see him as a person anymore then no one could. Even Father Fujimoto had tried to send him away as soon as his powers had awoken. Yukio was the only one who would make the effort to tolerate the presence of a thing like him and that was only because they were twins and Yukio felt obligated.

As soon as he got to the dorm Rin headed for the bathroom. While he scrubbed down he filled the furo, then dumped his entire stash of holy water in it. Quickly, before he could have second thoughts, Rin stepped into the water and sat down.

What he felt wasn't even pain, it was as if his nerves simply short-circuited. He felt like he was burning and freezing simultaneously, his vision strobed between black and shooting bursts of random color. His brain was screaming, "Out! Out!" His hands scrabbled against the steep walls of the furo but his over-taxed nerves couldn't coordinate to grasp the edge. He tried gathering his legs beneath him, but slipped as his limbs spasmed and he fell back into the the tub. His head slipped under the water.

* * *

><p>Yukio walked into the dorm scowling. "Rin, why aren't you in class?" he demanded loudly. Yukio heard a splash and an aborted shriek of pain. He dropped his bag and raced for the bathroom just in time to see Rin fall back into a boiling tub of water. Yukio grabbed his twin's flailing arm and yanked him out of the bath. Every inch of Rin's skin was blistered, he immediately curled in on himself and started screaming, over and over again.<p>

"Oh God, oh God," Yukio cried as he turned on the shower head and stepped under it's spray with Rin in his arms. Rin convulse violently nearly causing Yukio to drop him as the cool tap water rinsed away the last of the holy water. Eventually Rin lost consciousness and lay limp in Yukio's arms. Yukio saw the Koma Sword lying in the corner of the bathroom and laid Rin on the titles, he drew the sword and stood back, watching as severely weakened flames danced over Rin's body and scabs started to form over the burns. After about fifteen minutes Yukio sheathed the sword, he carried Rin to their room and treated Rin's remaining injuries, then he wrapped Rin in a sheet.

Rin started shivering uncontrollably, his breathing slowing to a weak rasp. "Oh no, no don't do this," Yukio said crawled into bed beside Rin and pulled Rin's back to his chest, wrapping his arms around Rin tightly. Gradually Rin's shivering eased and his breathing deepened but remained raspy.

Rin woke up hours later to the sound of Yukio softly humming a lullabye. He stirred weakly, turning toward Yukio with unfocused eyes that were grey rather than blue due to his still healing burns. "You're not mad anymore," Rin said in a hoarse whisper.

"Of course I'm mad," Yukio replied carding his fingers through Rin's hair. "How many times have I told you I need to monitor your treatments? And immersion? What, in God's name, possessed you? I thought you were dying. Rin, you would have died if I hadn't come back to check on you. You really would have died."

"Just wanted to feel clean for a little bit," Rin explained. His voice was so weak Yukio could barely hear it even with Rin cradled against his chest. "You hated me, the others hated me. Didn't mean to go berserk, just get Shiemi back. Couldn't, couldn't stand it. Had to do something." Rin's fingers tangled themselves in Yukio's shirt. He smiled, it split the scabs around his mouth and started them bleeding. "Worth it if you don't hate me anymore. Can't ever be human again, but did I get rid of some of the evil?"

Yukio sat silently for a long time. "Yes," he said finally. "You're no different now than you were the first time you drew the sword. What you did during the camp is erased. And I don't hate you, I never hated you, not really I just want to keep you safe."

Rin nuzzled Yukio's chest sleepily. "Maybe, tomorrow... others'd listen... on their side."

"Whatever it takes to make you safe," Yukio said quietly once Rin fell back asleep. "Whatever it takes, but you always make it so hard. Why do you always have to fight me when it comes to protecting you?" he whispered with an edge of anger. "Father had it easy, your powers were sealed then. How am I ever supposed to protect you when you're like this?"

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong> Even in cannon there are parts of Yukio's character that seriously grate on me. One little example is the way that he never can say Rin is good at cooking, he always has to say cooking is the ONLY constructive thing that Rin is good at, which turns what should be a compliment into a put down. It makes it easy for me to turn him into a villain.

There's a point in the Manga, after the Kyoto arc, where Shura asks Yukio if he wants to protect Rin by locking him in a cage for the rest of his life. Roughly a day later Yukio fondly concludes, not that it would be intrinsically wrong to put Rin in a cage, but that it would be impractical because Rin would just break out and in order to protect others.

In this story Yukio's being driven by anger at Rin for Father Fujimoto's death and fear that he's not capable of protecting Rin. Those two things are combining to create a mindset where Yukio has convinced himself that it's okay to give free reign to the part of him that resents Rin, because in the in end it's for Rin's own good if it gets rid of the parts of Rin that make him resist being protected.


	7. Opened Eyes

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Seven: Openned Eyes**

Rin wasn't able to leave his bed the next day or the one following, but sheer determination got him to cram school in time for the last class on the third evening after his immersion. His vision was blurry, his legs unstable and there were large, pus-filled blisters all over his body, but he made his way slowly from the dorm to the Cram School classroom. Once there, Rin hovered in the doorway uncertainly. He squinted at his classmates, looking for some sign that they might be willing to listen to his explanations, apologies this time.

Getting no encouragement, but determined to at least try this time, Rin stumbled toward the empty chair beside Shiemi; pink kimono, it had to be Shiemi; only to see her turn away from him. Rin stopped, his legs wobbled under him and he grabbed the nearest chair and lower himself into it before he could fall. Konekomaru and Shima, who were sitting at the table in front of Rin, moved across the aisle and up to sit in front of Bon instead. Bon gave Rin a dark look then pointedly turned away.

Izumo, identifiable by her long purple ponytails, glanced around the room in disgust then stood up and walked over and sat down regally in the seat next to Rin. "Maybe you don't know it, but there are many people with demon blood. And…" Izumo paused and frowned at Rin. In a less carrying voice she asked, "Okumura, you okay? Because you don't look it."

Before Rin could decide how to answer their teacher walked in and ended any discussion.

After cram school ended Rin and his classmates headed for the closet where the cleaning supplies were kept. As Rin stumbled along behind the group he wondered if they were trying to keep their distance from him or if they just wanted to be done with school as quickly as possible, the former seemed more likely. By the time he reached the closet the others had already gathered their supplies and headed back. With a small grunt of pain Rin stretched up grab a rag. Then he sensed someone behind him.

"No one wants you here," Konekomaru said coldly. "You should just leave. You don't belong here demon."

Rin turned, ready to plead his case. Konekomaru's face was an indistinct blur, a second form loomed over his shoulder. Rin squinted but couldn't make out who it was. "Please, I didn't ask for this."

"You're dangerous!" Konekomaru shouted. "My family, we lost so many to Satan's blue flame. We shouldn't have to be around something like you. You're a monster! You shouldn't be here! We don't want you here! No one wants you here!" As he yelled Konekomaru took several steps forward.

Rin's shoulders curled inward, he tried to make himself small as he set himself to accept whatever reparation Konekomaru wanted to take. "I don't want to be bad."

"Leave! Just leave already!" Konekomaru screamed. There was a strange desperation in his voice as he approached the cringing half-demon.

In the classroom Konekomaru's friends glanced toward the door worriedly. "Come on," Bon ordered.

"Please?" Rin pled, he looked up at his classmate, then frowned. The indistinct shape looming over Konekomaru's shoulder had glowing red eyes, this close Rin could make out a curved beak and talons. "Demon!" Rin exclaimed and threw himself at the creature. Rin and Konekomaru tumbled into the hallway, Rin's flames erupting in fitful starts as he felt wings beating against him.

They landed practically at Bon's feet, the bigger boy grabbed Rin and yanked him off Konekomaru. "Leave him alone!" he hissed, slamming Rin into the wall.

"He- I-," Rin stammered inarticulately, Bon tightened his grip and Rin screamed as one of his blisters ruptured. Bon felt something warm and liquid covering his hand and jerked back. Rin took advantage of his surprise and squirmed free, he threw himself at the demon again. It had been watching Bon lay into Rin with smug satisfaction as Konekomaru cringed on the floor and Rin caught it off guard when he suddenly broke free. Rin ripped the demon off Konekomaru and curled his body around it, holding on for all he was worth.

"What the hell?" Bon exclaimed as the creature that had been possessing Konekomaru became visible. Warily he pulled Konekomaru behind him while the other Exwires arrayed themselves around Rin and the bird-like demon. Rin's flames wrapped around both himself and the other demon, but they were nothing like what the Exwires had seen a few weeks earlier against the Earth King. Bon couldn't help but compare them to the last dying embers left after a fire burned itself out, he glanced guiltily at the bloody pus covering his hands.

The commotion brought Yukio running. His eyes widened at the sight of the bird-like demon pinned beneath Rin. "The Gale," he said to himself.

Rin screamed again and his flames intensified for a moment, burning the Gale to ash. Then he pushed himself up off the floor, weakly he gestured to the ash. "I didn't- there was-" he managed, his flames flickered and went out. Rin collapsed.

"What is going on?" Bon demanded.

"We were just alerted that a Gale managed to get onto Campus," Yukio reported. "I was coming to enlist you all in the search efforts."

"What's wrong with Okumura?" Bon clarified.

Yukio sighed and pushed up his glasses. "He was supposed to stay in bed," he said as he picked Rin off the floor. Several of the Exwires gasped as Yukio lifted Rin into his arms, Rin's shirt had been pulled askew revealing a large burn blister at the base of his neck and his entire back was wet with blood and pus from rolling around on the floor and being slammed into the wall by Bon. "He's undergoing treatments to help control his demonic nature, there are side-effects," Yukio explained, glad that there weren't any other teachers there to overhear.

* * *

><p>After Yukio had gone the Exwires gathered in their classroom.<p>

"You okay?" Bon asked Konekomaru.

The smaller boy nodded. "I'm sorry, I should have known better than to listen to it."

"Okumura shocked all of us with those blue flames," Bon excused him. "When I saw him fighting with you…"

"B-but he wasn't," Shiemi exclaimed in a breathless rush. "H-he was trying to help. L-like he protected me from Amaimon."

For a moment the Exwires fell silent, looking away from one another. "Okumura looked pretty bad," Shima said.

"Suguro did as much damage as the demon," Izumo remarked pointedly.

"I didn't know he was hurt," Bon said, looking guilty. "I thought he was attacking Koneko."

"This treatment Okumura-Sensei mentioned, it isn't new," Izumo stated, she glanced toward Shima. "It wasn't that bad before but this isn't the first time we've seen burns on him."

"How long?" Bon demanded.

"Our first missions as Exwires," Shima said. "He let me think it was too-hot water."

Izumo shook her head. "When the ghoul attacked us the first night of the Exwire Exam, he loaned me his shirt." she corrected. "I knew it wasn't from the ghoul."

"I- I think.. After we first met, right before I started cram school," Shiemi babbled. "I wanted to thank Rin and Yuki-chan for helping me. They said the burns were from cooking, he said it didn't matter, that they'd be gone by morning."

"So Okumura's basically been putting himself through hell for awhile now to be on our side," Izumo said. She glance around at her classmates and added bitingly, "Maybe certain people could try not being assholes in return."

* * *

><p>After reporting on the Gale's destruction to Mephisto Yukio waited to be dismissed. Instead Mephisto frowned thoughtfully at him for several minutes.<p>

"Is there something else I could help you with?" Yukio asked.

"I wonder, have you noticed anything bothering your brother?" Mephisto asked.

"You mean apart from his life depending on his passing an exam… And his grades remaining abysmal as always?" Yukio asked with more than a touch of sarcasm. "Or maybe the way his friends all reacted as poorly as could have been predicted to learning that he's the bastard son of Satan? And of course there's the fact he's being targeted by both Hell Kings and his instructors from the True Cross Order."

Mephisto tried to look innocent at the last item on Yukio's list. Yukio glared at him, "Neuhaus as much as told me he was acting on your orders. So take your pick, Rin has plenty to be upset about."

Yukio looked thoughtful for a moment. "Actually, I think he's been pretty depressed ever since finding out about being a demon and Father getting killed because of him. Everything else has just been piling on top of that."

* * *

><p>Konekomaru vacillated outside of the old dorm building where the Okumura twins lived for several minutes. Then he reminded himself of how he'd allowed the Gale to possess him, how he'd let it use his fears to turn him against Rin. He reminded himself of how terrible Rin had looked as his brother had carried him away after Rin had rescued him from the Gale. Konekomaru took a deep breath and went in. He was about to head upstairs to the rooms when he heard a clatter of pans from the dining area. Peering into the kitchen he saw Rin standing in front of the stove wearing an apron, socks and shorts, his tail waving behind him happily as he cooked. Konekomaru gasped, Rin's back looked like a raw wound. There were blisters all over his legs and his shoulder blades and ribs poked sharply from beneath his skin, even his tail looked ragged.<p>

Rin spun around when he saw Konekomaru, he flushed and his tail coiled tightly behind him as if it were trying to hide. There were fresh burns on his face, but none anywhere near as severe as the older ones on his back and legs. "Konekomaru! Um… hi!" He grabbed a large sweater and quickly pulled it on, his tail coiling around his waist as he did so. He flinched as the material settled on his raw back. "Do you want lunch?" he offered.

Konekomaru was about to refuse but Rin looked so hopeful that he sat down instead. A moment later Kuro hopped up on the table, tails lashing eagerly. Rin made up a couple of bentos then served Konekomaru, Kuro and himself. "I cook lunch for Yukio and me," he explained. "Helps with money, Mephisto's a total cheapskate."

"When Professor Kaoru told us you were here on special circumstance, we thought you'd bought your way into the cram school," Konekomaru admitted, surprised to hear Rin worry about money.

Rin gave a startled laugh, "Me, rich? Naw, it was either this or just die. I'm not gonna die until after I kick Satan's ass, or at least give it my best shot… Well go on- Itadakimasu!"

Kuro dug in eagerly. Konekomaru took more cautious bite, still looking stunned at what he'd learned. He took a second bite then stared at Rin. "This is really good," he said with amazement.

Rin grinned as he watched Konekomaru eat. "Yukio says it's the one constructive thing I'm good at." He took a listless bite himself then pushed his food around a little.

"You should eat more," Konekomaru scolded impulsively, juxtaposing Rin's gaunt frame and his eating habits.

Kuro raised his head. /See it's not just me./

Rin shrugged. "Haven't had much of an appetite in awhile," he said.

"I'll feel like a pig if you don't keep me company," Konekomaru pushed. "This is really good," he repeated.

Rin smiled and took a few more bites. Konekomaru made a point of slowing down until Rin started matching him bite for bite.

/I might like him,/ Kuro announced.

After the food was mostly gone Konekomaru fiddled nervously with his chopsticks as he remembered his reason for coming. "I, um, I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. And um, I'm sorry about what I said."

Rin shook his head, "It's not your fault. Yukio explained, me being a demon makes my aura evil. People sense that I'm not right and it makes 'em hate me. I try to fix it, but it's never enough."

Konekomaru looked startled. "What? I, no, you don't. I didn't even know you were a demon until… Both my parents died on the Blue Night, when I saw your flames… The Gale preyed on that, I was so stupid. The first thing you learn is not to listen to-" he cut himself off remembering that Rin was a demon as well. "I'm quitting cram school, how can anyone count on me if I let myself get possessed that easily?"

"No!" Rin exclaimed. "You can't quit because of me!" He leaned across the table, his face flushed hectically as he forced a smile. "I probably won't even be around in six months. You can put up with me for six months right? I mean I'm hoping the Exorcist Exam has a big practical section and I can score enough points there to pass, but I've always been pretty stupid and Yukio doesn't think I've got a chance. I'll try harder to purify my aura, really. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm winning, I don't think I'm healing that much faster than a normal human any more."

Konekomaru looked alarmed, from what he'd seen if Rin tried any harder to mitigate his demon blood he'd kill himself. "You're fine, truly. It's not you, it isn't. You might not have known anything about demons until recently, but I've been training for this as long as I can remember. I let everyone down making such a stupid mistake." Then he paused and frowned with confusion. "What do you mean; pass the Exorcist Exam in six months? No one does that."

Rin shrugged. "The Grigori said they'll kill me if I don't. If that Amaimon guy hadn't burst into the trial thing they probably would have killed me right there for losing control back in the forest. I was just so mad when he took Shiemi... So you won't leave?" Rin finished eagerly.

Konekomaru was biting on his lower lip, looking troubled. "What? No, I- I guess I'll stay."

* * *

><p>"I saw Konekomaru-kun leaving, what brought him by?" Yukio asked.<p>

Rin smiled broadly. "He wanted to talk about what happened with the Gale. I think we're okay now."

Yukio frowned for a few moments then said, "Well, your aura was almost completely purified by that bath, with your regular treatments the corruption caused by your demonic nature is only just resurfacing. But you can never do that again. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I saw you." Yukio sighed, "Rin, you have to be prepared for Konekomaru to feel differently once the effect wears off."

Rin's happy expression crumbled.

Yukio pursed his lips thoughtfully. "I suppose we might strengthen your regular treatments."

"Thanks Yukio, I - I really want them to accept me," Rin said. "I hate being seen as just Satan's bastard kid. I'll always be the person Shiro raised, you know that don't you?"

Yukio gave Rin a strained smile. "I know you want that to be true. And I'm doing everything I can to protect you from Satan's influence."

* * *

><p>Bon caught Rin as he left his regular history class the next day. "Okumura, we need to talk," he stated.<p>

Rin sighed, "I wasn't attacking Ko-"

"I know. Now I know," Bon interrupted regretfully. "It's not about that. Come on." He led Rin to a quiet corner of the school grounds. "Sit and listen. If you're going to be part of our team there are going to be some ground rules: First, we need to know what you can do, what you can really do."

Rin threw up his hands. "I don't know! I try not drawing the sword, Yukio says every time I use it my aura gets more corrupted. I try not to use it, I don't want to make people hate me. But if any one else got killed because of me, if I stood by and let someone get hurt… Well I'd hate myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me." He sighed, "I can never make Yukio understand that. I don't want to use the sword, but sometimes it's worth it."

"Yeah, I get that," Bon said quietly. "We should make our plans around what you can do without the sword. We'll leave you drawing it as a last ditch, emergency measure. Anyway, if you feel like those flames are getting out of your control, you let us know." He gave Rin a serious look. "And if you're hurting from the treatments, we need to know that too. If you're not at 100% we've got to take that into account. You can't go running off on your own, especially not when you're liable to collapse after a fight. You have to let us be there to protect you too, that's what being on a team is about."

"You're starting to sound like you think you're my mother," Rin commented cheerful. "Or worse yet, Yukio."

"Well, someone's got to look after you. You obviously need it," Bon stated.

"So, um, we're okay?" Rin asked standing up.

"We're not done here".

"What now?"

"Get out your books, Konekomaru told me you've got six months to pass the Exorcist Exam, and you're going to do it if I have to beat the information into your head," Bon declared.

"I'm pretty stupid," Rin warned.

"So's Shima," Bon shrugged. "To start with I'm going explain all the background stuff you'd already know if you hadn't been brought up like a numpty, thinking demons are just anthropomorphisms of the darker side of human nature instead of literal beings."

"Huh?"

Bon rolled his eyes, "Even though you have demon blood, you only learned demons are real a few months ago. So it's not your fault that you don't know anything about being an Exorcist. So I'm going to teach you all the stuff our instructors just expect you to know."

Rin groaned, "More kid stories."

"No stories, just the information that was kept from you," Bon stated. "Now lets get to work. Fair warning: If you try sleeping while I'm tutoring you I'll pull your tail."

* * *

><p>Kuro crouched, hidden on top of the cabinets in the bathroom; humans never thought to look up. His fur bristled angrily as he watched Yukio dose Rin's wash-water. His lips peeled back to expose fangs but he fought back the urge to over turn the basin and attack Yukio. Rin had made his stance clear: He wouldn't tolerate any challenge to Yukio, he didn't care that he was slowly killing himself at Yukio's behest.<p>

Kuro watched as Rin willingly sponged what might as well have been acid over his body. Rin did his best to hide the pain it caused him, but he couldn't completely bite back the whimpers of pain and the older burns were beginning to scar as his demon-healing gave way in the face of the ongoing abuse Rin was subjecting himself to.

Yukio never looked away as blisters formed across his twin's shoulders. When it was done, Yukio lovingly treated Rin's self-inflicted injuries. Kuro snarled silently at the look of contentment on Rin's scalded face at having earned his brother's care once again.

* * *

><p>Shiemi glanced around the empty classroom then put on her most determined expression and took the other seat at the desk Rin had been using since they'd learned about his demon blood. The desk that he shared with Izumo, not her.<p>

Over the next few minutes her classmates began arriving. Konekomaru and Shima gave her change of seats a curious look but didn't say anything, Bon gave her an approving nod. "Hmpf," Izumo sniffed, "So maybe you're not all talk."

Rin arrived at the last moment, as normal, rushing into the room just ahead of the teacher. He stopped dead when he saw that Shiemi had switched seats. Tentatively he took the seat next to her. He sat on the far edge of his chair and looked ready to jump up again at the slightest cause. Over the course of the lecture Rin gradually relaxed, though given his tendency to fall asleep in class it would have been nearly impossible for him to do otherwise. During the break before their next teacher arrived Rin glanced shyly at Shiemi. "I thought you were afraid of me now?"

"Oh!" Shiemi squeaked and shook her head violently. She twisted her fingers together in agitation. "Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me?" she asked sadly.

"I wanted you to_ like_ me!" Rin exclaimed. "Why would I tell you_ that_?" He looked away. "That first day, you thought I was a demon 'cause of the gate… The way you looked at me… Why would anyone want that?"

Shiemi bit her lip as she remembered, she _had_ been scared of Rin then, for a few minutes before he started talking.

"Sometimes a lie is necessary to let the truth speak for itself," Shima said. He turned to Bon. "Wasn't that something your dad used to say?"

"And I hated it," Bon stated with a grimace.

Shima shrugged, "But Ossama was right: If we'd known Rin's father was Satan from the start we wouldn't have bothered to get to know him as a person. We'd have just written him off as a monster, we almost did that anyway. Rin had to lie to us about his demon blood, it was the only way to get us to look beyond that one fact and see him."

"So… you're not mad at me either?" Rin asked hopefully.

"Naw, too much trouble," Shima said.

"Okay, you've all made up," Izumo declared. "Now get out of my seat." She wrinkled her nose at Shiemi. "You're too _sweet_ to jab him when he starts drifting off." She dropped her bag on the desk and turned to Rin. "I swear it's getting harder to keep you on task every day."

* * *

><p><strong>Note: <strong> I found "Blue Exorcist" right after watching "Merlin" in both cases you've got a lead character who is keeping a secret that could get them killed if found out. Add to that I was brought up with the belief that you don't just go around handing out your private information, it's not your friends' right to demand every last bit of information about you, private information is your privilege to share when you see fit. Yeah you can go too far (there's an old "Flash" story were Barry Allen proposes to a woman without telling her his secret identity and she certainly had the right to know who she was marrying yet somehow DC didn't see it as creepy that Barry made it to his wedding day without telling his fiancee about his secret identity when his first wife had been killed by Flash's enemies), but I can't see that Rin is anywhere near the threshold of being too secretive and Arthur's actions don't exactly lend themselves to earning the privilege of knowing Merlin has magic while he's upholding laws that would see Merlin killed for being born. So I absolutely loved the Manga, it great to see someone being called on being self-centered and a poor friend for worrying about 'oh he tell me his secret, oh me, oh my, doesn't he trust me?' when the other person is worrying being killed.


	8. Resistance and Reprisal

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Eight: Resistance and Reprisal**

"Okumura-san," Professor Adachi paused to take a second look at the quiz. His eyebrows rose in surprise. "A passing mark, that is quite the improvement."

Rin swayed a bit as he stood to accepted the paper. While his classmates traded celebratory grins at this evidence that their efforts at tutoring and keeping him awake in class were starting to pay off, Rin double checked the name on the top of the paper and the score hardly believing it was real.

Sure it wasn't anywhere near Bon or Izumo's grades, but was a very, very long way from the single digit scores Rin was used to seeing on his papers. He gave his classmates a stunned smile.

* * *

><p>Yukio was frowning when he returned to the dorm. "Your grades are dropping in your normal classes," he informed Rin. "Although how that is even possible given how abysmal your marks were to begin with…"<p>

Rin grimaced. "I guess I forgot. I've been studying for cram school every spare minute. Did you hear I got passing marks on the test in Demonology yesterday?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, I heard your classmates have been helping you," Yukio said disapprovingly.

Rin grinned. "They're really great friends. I think Izumo likes keeping me awake for class a little more than's healthy. I bet you she files her nails to points just for poking me."

"Well, as long as they're just keeping you on task and not doing your work for you," Yukio said without enthusiasm. "Are you ready for your treatment?"

Rin nodded easily, for the first time in his life he had real friends. The treatments; especially now that they'd increased the intensity; hurt but it was worth it.

Shiro had always told Rin that he had to control himself, control his unnatural strength and be kind if he didn't want to end up alone. It had never worked. The whispers and disapproving looks followed him from class to class. No matter how much Rin's control improved the reputation he'd gained as a six-year-old always preceded him. Every semester he'd returned from break determined that, this time, it would be different. He'd be good and he'd make friends and school would be something other than misery. Every time there were at least a few bullies who were new or who forgot their previous lessons and Rin had to prove once again that Yukio was off-limits and, screw-it, they could just forget about getting away with anything while Rin was around. And somehow, no matter how justified Rin felt, he always ended up the trouble-maker in his teachers' eyes. Every year his previous year's teachers had already warned the new teachers that Rin was wild, violent and unnatural, a danger to the other children around him.

It was Yukio who'd finally figured out how to break the cycle. So what if the constant pain robbed him of his appetite and sleep? So what if the skin on his back, chest and arms was starting to take on a mottle appearance from the overlapping burn scars? Rin had friends who cared about him.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Eyebrows," Bon called.<p>

Izumo turned from her lunch and glared at him. Behind her Paku gave Bon a small smile and a wave.

Bon flushed as he nodded an acknowledgement to Paku then turned back to Izumo. "Have you ever heard of a treatment like Rin's before?" he demanded. "Purifying a demonic aura? Or even a demonic aura working like Rin's, making people around him turn against him?"

"No, and I looked" Izumo said shortly.

"Same here," Bon said. "The only thing I can see prolonged holy water exposure doing is making a demon sick."

Paku bit her lip and edged closer to Izumo.

Izumo stared at Bon for a while, reluctantly considering joining forces with him. "According to one record I found the right dosage could hold a high level demon in a comatosed state indefinitely." She shrugged. "It was rumored that a Vodoun Mambos held a Prince of Hell prisoner for almost fifty years, keeping him in a state that was neither alive nor dead. But in that case the holy water was administered intravenously and buffered with complicated mixture of medicines and nutrients. In the end her successor got the formula wrong, the demon escaped but by then he had been driven completely mad. He was so bad that several of the Hell Kings formed an alliance to destroy him."

"Okumura-Sensei is Rin's brother," Bon objected. "There has to be something we're missing."

Izumo looked troubled. "What if we're not?"

* * *

><p>As Rin passed by the campus church on his way back to the dorm, he impulsively detoured by Nagatomo's quarters. "I got a good mark on my Demon Classification quiz," he announced waving the paper around as soon as Nagatomo opened his door. "That's two passing grades in as many weeks!"<p>

"And you're homework for my class isn't half bad either," Nagatomo added.

Rin grinned, "Really?"

Nagatomo nodded.

Rin started to leave then hesitated. "Um, would you mind taking Confession from me?" Rin asked. Yukio's version of Confession had never quite sat right with him. He did what his twin wanted to avoid fighting with him. After all it was just words, it didn't really hurt to say them, not really. Or at least it hurt less than hearing Yukio say them. But Yukio had said himself that it would be better if Rin could Confess to a real priest, the only reason he didn't was because he couldn't tell anyone about being a demon.

"You didn't cheat on the test?" Nagatomo asked.

"No!" Rin exclaimed, then admitted. "I did skip Literature so Bon could grill me on it during his lunch period. Yukio'll lecture me later, so you don't have to."

Nagatomo shook his head in amusement. "I'm glad your friends are helping you out," he said as he led the way toward the Nave.

They both took their spots in the Confessional booth and Rin started his confession. The blood drained out of Nagatomo's face as he listened. He forced himself not to interrupt, to hear out the whole list of things Rin had somehow convinced himself he was guilty of. Perhaps the most disturbing thing was the practiced recitation that told Nagatomo that this was far, far from the first time Rin had done this.

"Rin, listen to me. There is no penance. You don't need forgiveness for sins you never committed. Please listen, you aren't responsible for any of that. Do you hear me?" Nagatomo begged when Rin was done.

"I'm not?" Rin asked. "But- but you were there. you know it's my fault Dad died."

Nagatomo was silent for a long moment looking for a way to reach Rin. "Do you remember when you were little and you'd try to argue that you shouldn't have to do penance for the fights you got into because the other kids provoked you?" he asked.

Rin nodded. "They were always picking on Yukio, and the stupid teacher wouldn't do anything about it. So I did."

"Do you remember what Father Fujimoto told you?"

Rin shut his eyes for a moment reaching for the memory. "That no matter what they did or said I had control over how I reacted," he said. "That confession wasn't about other people or circumstances, it was just about what I'd done."

"So what did you do that night?" Nagatomo pressed. "And remember what your Dad told you, Confession is _only _about what you did."

"I said he wasn't my Dad, I hurt him. I wouldn't do what he told me to and that's why-"

Nagatomo held up a hand stopping Rin. "That is what you did. That is all that you did. You were disrespectful and disobedient toward your father. You did not kill him, you did not cause his death. In penance you should go to Father Fujimoto's grave and apologize to him for what you said, but only for what you said, because you only had control over your actions, nothing else. You've been absolved of the sins of disrespectfulness and disobedience toward your father."

Rin squirmed, uncomfortable with being forgiven so easily after months of being told he was beyond redemption. "You're sure that's all I did?"

"I was there," Nagatomo asserted firmly. "Rin if we'd, any of us, had realized that you felt you were to blame… We should have talked to you about Shiro's death before letting you leave with Sir Pheles." Nagatomo shook his head. "We failed you Rin, there's no excuse for leaving you feeling that you were to blame for what happened for so long."

Rin glanced up in surprise, reacting automatically to the guilt in Nagatomo's voice. "You couldn't have known. I didn't think it was my fault until-" he broke off not wanting to say anything that might get Yukio in trouble.

"Until?" Nagatomo asked.

"I didn't even know demons were real 'til that day. Then I'm one and Satan's my real father and Dad's dead and - well, everything. I was at school before I sorted out that it was my fault Dad got possessed."

"It was _not _your fault," Nagatomo disagreed. "Satan attacked us. He tried to kidnap you. He possessed Shiro. Those are Satan's actions, his sins, not yours."

"Okay," Rin sighed, not seeing how he could explain further without bringing up Yukio. 'Of course, Nagatomo would've probably have taken it more seriously if he'd known that it was Yukio who figured out that it was my fault,' Rin thought to himself.

"Okay," Nagatomo agreed. "Later I think we should talk more about your classmates and try to sort out what is going on there. I don't think your _existence_ is to blame for Kamiki-san freezing during the Exwire Exam or for Suguro-san getting into fights. But we should try to figure out what is causing it, particularly the later if he's getting into fights with you. But first I need to tell you about the Blue Night and I refuse to do that as part of Confession, because you are not, in any part, to blame for what happened that night."

"You really know what caused the Blue Night?" Rin asked. "It happened right around when I was born and with the blue flames, we just figured it had to have something to do with me."

"Let's go back to my office, Nagatomo suggested. Rin stepped out of the confessional booth and Nagatomo guided Rin to a small, stuffy room in the back of the church. He nodded toward the table then locked the door.

"The Blue Night?" Rin asked.

"First, I want you to understand something," Nagatomo said seriously, taking the seat across from Rin. "The church is not God. As priests we speak for Him and most of us genuinely do our best to let His will guide us, but we're human and fallible. The Blue Night happened because of a- a miscarriage of justice driven by fear and anger."

Rin watched Nagatomo no longer certain that he wanted to hear this.

The young priest sighed. "Your mother, Yuri Egin was an Exorcist. She developed some heretical notions and… engaged in relations with Satan. When the Vatican found out, certain high ranking officials felt she had betrayed everything the True Cross Order stood for and that she had betrayed them personally with her actions. Yuri was sentenced to burn at the stake, because of their anger as much for her crimes. No one knows why, but Satan chose to rescue her and the Blue Night was the result."

Nagatomo looked tired. "Yuri didn't die in childbirth, it was probably shear determination that kept her alive long enough for you and Yukio to be born. Her legs had been severely burned during the attempt to execute her, she died from the infections that had set in shortly after Shiro and Mephisto found her."

"Why would she be so stupid?" Rin asked.

* * *

><p>"You told him what?" Mephisto roared. For a moment Nagatomo was vividly reminded that he was talking to Hell King, not simply another person. Then Mephisto gave him an empty smile that showed way too many fangs and said, "If Rin turns his back on the True Cross Order there is nothing I can do for him, you do realize that?"<p>

Nagatomo shook his head. "If Satan wanted to influence Rin, he blew his chance when he attacked Father Fujimoto. Rin had to know the truth about the Blue Night, someone's convinced him that it was_ his_ fault."

Mephisto froze then turned to stare at Nagatomo. "Someone?" he asked.

"I know Rin, he didn't come up with that stuff himself. Rin doesn't sit and brood on the past, he wouldn't have connected the timing between his birth and the Blue Night on his own, let alone have been thinking about Yuri Egin's death without prompting."

"Seriously?" Mephisto asked. "She is his mother."

"When he was eight, Rin got in a fight with several older boys who had been harassing him, telling him that his real parents abandoned him because he was a freak and that's why he had to live at the monastery." Nagatomo shrugged and smiled. "Afterwards it turned out that the reason Rin was mad was because he thought they were lying about Father Fujimoto not being his real parent. Once it had explained that Father Fujimoto was his foster father not his biological father, Rin dismissed the whole thing almost immediately. If I remember correctly there was a bit about the similarities between Father Fujimoto's cassock and a dress leading to the conclusion that, in Rin's eight-year-old opinion, he would do as a mother as well as a father."

Mephisto grinned at that, wishing he'd seen Shiro's reaction.

"A lot of people haven't been there for Rin or never bother to give him a chance, he focuses on the ones who do," Nagatomo continued sadly. "It's not Rin coming up with this stuff on his own. Someone else, someone here is putting those ideas in his head, telling him he's responsible for everything under the sun. And the way Rin listed things off…I don't like it at all. We kept Rin and Yukio in the dark about what the Order of the True Cross did to their mother to keep them from being angry at the church or at God, but someone is using Rin's ignorance as a weapon against him. He had to be told what really happened."

"You should have told me before making a decision like that," Mephisto said. "I could have come up with a less troublesome version of the truth to tell Rin. Unless you think the unedited truth is worth his life? If he isn't loyal to the Order he will, very shortly, be dead."

Nagatomo grimaced. "The first thing he asked was 'Why was Yuri so stupid?' Rin assumed right off that Satan was using her, that he rescued her because he wasn't done with her. A year ago that wouldn't have occurred to Rin anymore than it ever occurred to his mother, but between you and the Grigori he's apparently gotten used to the idea of being used."

"Do I need to suggest he start running now or not?" Mephisto demanded, unconcerned with the implied accusation that he was changing Rin for the worse.

"I _wish_ he were more upset about people trying to kill him before he was even born," Nagatomo exclaimed. His shoulders drooped. "But too much damage has been done already. He's been brainwashed into thinking that it's okay for people to hurt him or try to kill him. I don't think Rin has the ability to properly value his life anymore... But don't worry, Rin is still willing to be your weapon against Satan," Nagatomo added bitterly. "He knows he's being used, but as long as you're against Satan he's okay with it."

Mephisto stared at Nagatomo for a time. "You may not like everything Rin learns from me," he finally said. "But I am teaching him to survive as a demon who has aligned themselves with Assiah rather than Gehenna."

* * *

><p>That night Rin quickly mumbled his way through the confession Yukio required of him while doing his best to be extra thorough about cleansing himself. After he was done and Yukio was treating his injuries, he broached the subject of Confession again. "'Member how you told me this was just a stopgap because I couldn't confess to a real priest?" Rin asked then continued before Yukio could respond. "Well, Nagatomo is a real priest and he knows about me being a demon and he doesn't want to kill me, so I confessed to him today. He said our mom dying and the Blue Night wasn't my fault. It was because people in the Vatican tried to stop us from being born. They tried to burn our mom and Satan rescued her, but not quick enough and she died anyway. That was the Blue Night."<p>

"You went behind my back!" Yukio exclaimed angrily, a brief look of fear crossed his face.

"What!?" Rin exclaimed.

Then what Rin had said really seemed to sink in. "The Grigori burned Mom? That's why she died?" Yukio asked, his tone entirely different.

Rin nodded, forgetting Yukio's initial reaction.

Yukio silently resumed tending Rin's injuries. "Do you still want to be an Exorcist, knowing what you do now?" he asked when he was finished, letting his hand rest absently on Rin's shoulder.

Rin shrugged. "The high muckity-mucks in the True Cross might not be the good guys, but I met Satan, when he possessed Dad. He is the bad guy. I still want to kick his ass."

"You know you're not going to pass the exam in five months?" Yukio asked. "Or even if a miracle occurs and you do pass, it won't matter."

"I was kind thinking about running off and going after Satan right before the test… except, well my grades are getting better," Rin said.

"Doesn't matter," Yukio replied. "If you fail they'll magnanimously extend the deadline, if you somehow manage to pass they'll just lay out another impossible hoop for you to jump through. At the end of the day it's all for show, just a reminder to keep you in your place. If they ever decide you're too dangerous they won't wait for some arbitrary deadline to pass, they'll just kill you. They might come up with a pretext to avoid outrage among the other Exorcists with demon-blood, or maybe they'll just remind everyone that you're Satan's bastard and assume that'll satisfy. Why would you want to stay?"

Rin cracked a smile. "Geez, you're getting worse than me in your old age. Even I know better than to pick more than one fight at a time. How would I fight Satan if I were busy running from the True Cross? 'Sides, there's Dad and the guys from the Monastery, you and the Exwires, maybe even Mephisto," he said. "Plenty of good people here too; worth fighting for. And Bon'll give me hell if I try go fight Satan without him."

Yukio withdrew from Rin, a look of disappointment and regret rapidly cooling to impassiveness. "What else did Father Nagatomo say?" he asked warily.

"I tried to tell him about how it was my fault Dad died but he wouldn't listen. I guess you were right about that; he was making excuses for me," Rin said. "But, um, I'm not gonna confess to the Blue Night or killing our mom anymore." Rin's expression hardened. "They could have waited 'til we were born and just killed me. And if they'd just done it, maybe Satan wouldn't have had a chance to try to stop 'em and there wouldn't have been a Blue Night, but they wanted Mom to hurt. _That _wasn't my fault and I won't say it was."

Yukio held himself silent for a long moment, considering Rin's determination. "You're right," he backed down. "I was speculating, the timing made it seem so obvious that the Blue Night was connected to your birth."

"Even if it was because our mom was pregnant with me, it wasn't my fault," Rin said firmly. "The guys in the Vatican were mad at Mom and I'll bet Satan was using her and she let him. It was because of stuff _they _did, not anything _I _did."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have speculated," Yukio apologized.

Later that evening Yukio said, "I think you're starting to build up an immunity to the treatments, or either that or the effect from when you immersed yourself has worn off completely… You can never, ever do that on your own again, Rin. Ever! You could have killed yourself."

Rin remembered the feel of holy water closing over his head and his stomach clenched in dread.

"But maybe Saturday night we could add a much more dilute immersion treatment. You'll have all of Sunday to recover," Yukio continued. "I'm certain it will keep you from getting worse, but you absolutely have to promise to let me oversee the treatment without fail."

It was the easiest promise Rin had ever made. "Honestly Yukio, I don't think I could make myself do that again," he admitted.

"I'll help you," Yukio said. At the look of terror that crossed Rin's face Yukio backed off. "Not tonight," he said. "I need to make certain of the dilution. Saturday night, after the week's Exwire training exercises. Since the Academy observes the Sabbath you'll have the whole next day to recover before your classes resume. You do trust me don't you?"

"Always."

* * *

><p>Saturday night Rin tried to keep his breathing steady as he scrubbed up, with simple soap and water for once. Behind him Yukio used a graduated cylinder to measure a dose of holy water which he then added to the furo.<p>

Rin remembered the steep sides turning into an insurmountable obstacle as his fried nerves made his limbs flail uselessly. 'Yukio pulled me out last time, he'll be here this time,' he reminded himself.

Yukio set a timer to 10 seconds. "I'm going to control the dose exactly," he explained as Rin came to stand beside him, eyes wide and a little wild. "I'll be holding you the entire time. All you have to do is take a deep breath, pinch your nose closed and clench your eyes tight. You have to focus on doing those three things and trust me to take care of the rest."

Rin did as he was told, forcing himself to take a few deep slow breaths rather than the quick gasps that he wanted to take. Then he pressed his lips together tightly and closed his eyes. Rin pinched his nose shut and Yukio picked him up.

With his eyes closed the feel of his feet leaving the floor sent a rush of vertigo through Rin, then the world dropped out from beneath him and Rin's stomach just kept dropping. He felt the water close over him and he concentrated every iota of his will power on doing what Yukio had said and not fighting him. He focused on the feel of Yukio's arms around him and the knowledge that they were his safety net.

For a moment everything blurred white, then the next thing Rin knew, he was in his bed, dressed and bandaged, curled up against Yukio's shoulder. His throat felt raw, "Did I open my mouth?" he rasped.

"No, you did good," Yukio said quietly as he petted Rin's hair. "You didn't start screaming until after I pulled you out. You did good and you're okay now."

* * *

><p>Rin woke up the next day to the feel of Kuro licking his face. "Cut that out," Rin said weakly. He raised an unsteady hand to push Kuro away<p>

/Cat spit has healing properties,/ Kuro informed him primly. He ducked around Rin's hand and continued his self-appointed task.

Rin signed and let him.

/Why do you let Yukio make you do such horrible things to yourself?/ Kuro asked.

"Kuro, I have to. All the people I care about'll hate me if I don't," Rin asserted.

/I'm scared,/ Kuro said. /You're hurt so bad today and even before… Rin, this stuff, it's making you sick. I don't want to lose you./

"'M sorry," Rin murmured resting his hand on Kuro's back. "But I have to."


	9. Burnout

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Nine: Burnout **

Rin collapsed into his seat after stammering his way through a recitation of John 3:16.

"I suppose I should be please that you glanced at the assigned sections… for a change," their teacher sniffed. "However precision is essential, a Chuchi demon would laugh upon hearing your rendition of their fatal verse."

Konekomaru gave Rin a despairing look. "You were doing so much better last week," he said.

Rin grimaced and shifted in his seat to keep from putting pressure on a particularly stinging burn. "It's not like anyone'd want me as an Aria anyway."

* * *

><p>A few weeks later Izumo gave Rin a frustrated scowl then stood up and turned to Bon. "Trade seats with me for the next class," she ordered. "My finger's getting sore from poking him today."<p>

"Sorry," Rin said rubbing his ribs. Izumo's finger wasn't the only thing getting sore.

Shiemi, impressed at her own daring, patted Rin's shoulder sympathetically then blushed and pulled away quickly. "Ar- are your treatments worse on the weekends?" she asked timidly.

Bon's gaze sharpened. "You are in worse shape at the start of the week, especially lately," he said. "How would you be if we got a mission on the weekend?"

Rin shrunk down in his seat, shoulders hunched defensively. "I'm fine Saturday, you know I'm fine Saturday. Yukio knows the schedule, he wouldn't let me if we had anything coming up. But the old treatments weren't working so well anymore. Yukio had to add a new one, after we finish cram school on Saturday since we're not supposed to work on Sundays anyway."

"What was wrong with the old treatments?" Bon demanded. "None of us ever sensed any sort of evil from you. Whatever this new thing is, it's too much. Your focus is crap for nearly half the week and you _have _to pass cram school."

"I _can't _not do it!" Rin exclaimed. "You'll all hate me," he finished in a whisper.

Bon stood up, looming over Rin. "Are you totally dense or just deaf? I just told you: You don't feel evil to any of us. We don't sense any aura that makes us reject you. Maybe when Kurikara is drawn and you're alight with Satan's blue flames, maybe I feel something then, but the rest of the time? Nothing! Finding out you were Satan's bastard kid was a shock and I let myself wonder if you were evil because of that. But we were all being stupid, we knew you weren't evil even then and none of us has ever sensed anything like that aura you keep talking about. So lighten up on the treatments before you get killed 'cause you can't think straight."

Rin jumped up as well and glared at Bon, the faintest traces of his fire burning in his eyes. "You're wrong!" he declared angrily. "Yukio-" Rin broke off, swaying dizzily and Bon pushed him back into his chair, then took the chair beside Rin's himself. "Ask your brother to think about changing the dose," he sighed.

* * *

><p>Professor Kaoru smiled a bit nervously as he was invited into Mephisto's office. "You wanted to see me?" he asked.<p>

"Ah yes, I've decided to start the student reviews early this year," Mephisto declared.

"But- I haven't had any time to prepare," Kaoru protested.

Mephisto shrugged. "You spend several hours a week with our little students, how hard can it be to say what you think of them?"

Kaoru gulped, he wondered if Mephisto was hinting at a knowledge of his habit of taking personal calls during classes. "Um, well… Moriyama-san is doing better now that she wears appropriate clothing to class. Still, between her childhood illnesses and more recent demon possession she isn't as athletic as her peers. She lacks both coordination and stamina. I'd recommend directing her toward support rolls."

"Surugo-san is an exceptional student. On his own initiative he maintains a rigorous fitness regime, he also has the other two Myodhan students following a similar routine. He's a natural leader, the Myodha are lucky to have him. However, the True Cross Order might want to consider that he is not his father, we can't expect simple inertia to continue the merger between the Myodha and the True Cross once Surugo-san takes over their leadership. I'd recommend posting him as close to Rome as possible for a few years after he passes the Exorcist Exam to strengthen his ties with the True Cross."

"Miwa-san is a typical Aria, he'd have his nose buried in a book all day if he were allowed. As I mentioned Surugo-san addresses the issue independently of his instructors. I haven't seen fit to disrupt their arrangement. Shima-san is possibly the most athletically gifted member of the class, but he's given to laziness. He doesn't exert himself any more than he has to. Again, Surugo-san has already dealt with his teammate's shortcomings so I've stayed out of it."

"Kamiki-san is also very athletically gifted, although credit for that may lie with her blood-line. She hasn't integrated well with the other students in the class, she's generally stand-off and secretive. I don't believe any of her classmates are aware that she has some demon blood." Kaoru shrugged. "Her behavior is more what I'd have expected with an Exorcist coming from a monotheistic background, rather than from a child who grew-up in a Shinto Temple. Her reservations may be a product of having the Satan-child in her classes. The Exwires are young enough they may not understand the difference between a descendant of Inari and the son of Satan."

Mephisto steepled his fingers and leaned forward with a toothy smile. "And what do you think of our Okumura-san?" he asked.

Kaoru hesitated. "His performance in class is difficult to judge. Most of the low-level demons I use in class would submit to him at a look. He caused some friction with his classmates early on, but that seems to have quieted down. I recommended that Surugo-san not allow himself to be baited by the Satan-child, perhaps that helped…" Kaoru trailed off uncertainly, looking to Mephisto for a reaction.

"That will be sufficient," Mephisto said dismissively.

* * *

><p>As Rin stepped out of the shower and went to stand at the edge of furo Yukio noticed that his brother was shaking. Rin's eyes were full of fear but he closed them and put his life in Yukio's hands without hesitation.<p>

Yukio picked Rin up bridal style and held him over the furo. While Rin took several deep breaths Yukio murmured, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost…" Rin pinched his nose shut and Yukio plunged him into the water which immediately began to roil as it came in contact with Rin's skin.

After a few seconds Yukio pulled Rin back out of the water. Rin's body remained taunt at a wire in his twin's arms as Yukio carried him to their room. Yukio kicked the door shut behind him to keep Kuro out then sat on the edge of one of the beds with Rin still in his arms and waited. Eventually the need for air overcame Rin's terror of breathing in holy water and forced him to open his mouth. As soon as his lungs filled with oxygen Rin screamed.

Yukio pulled Rin tight against his chest and started rocking him, murmuring quiet praise as he stroked Rin's hair. The first few times Yukio had fought to administer first aid before anything else, but experience had taught him that comfort and affection was the fastest way to settle Rin.

After a few minutes Rin's screams tapered off and he lay quiet, his eyes half-lidded as Yukio treated his injuries and wrapped him in a cooling blanket to draw the heat out of his burns. Seeing Rin was still semi-conscious Yukio crawled into bed beside him and hugged Rin until he relaxed enough for unconsciousness to claim him.

Very carefully Yukio shifted Rin out of his arms and got out of bed. He unlocked his trunk and stared at the second locked box inside. Yukio reached for the box then glanced back at Rin and bit his lip. He wished things could stay just the way they were. Rin's trust in him, as demonstrated by the immersion treatments, was perfect. For once in his life, Rin was staying out of trouble; he wasn't getting in fights and while his grades were still poor he was trying. The only time he skipped class was to study for Cram School. Rin hadn't drawn the Koma Sword in months, not since Amaimon's attack. Yukio scowled. 'Of course it would only be a matter of time until another of Mephisto's pawns turned up and prodded Rin into using the sword again.'

On top of that both Mephisto and Father Nagatomo were poking into things that were none of their business, stirring up trouble. Kuro actively opposed everything he did, though there was little the Sith Cat could actually do to get in his way. Even Rin's fellow Exwires were a problem. They were almost as trusting as Rin himself, but they'd forgiven Rin for being Satan's bastard. Their continued presence in Rin's life made him resist being protected. They got him hyper and stirred up, much more likely to get himself into trouble than the quiet, depressed Rin who'd stayed obediently in the dorm for weeks when he thought they'd turned their backs on him.

Yukio sighed, things couldn't stay like they were. Sooner or later someone would try to take Rin away from him and everything would go much smoother if he acted fist. Still, he didn't want to take the next step. Yukio glanced at the box again then shut and locked his trunk. He could put it off a bit longer. Soon, he'd have to take the initiative before someone else took it from him, but not yet.

* * *

><p>"It's Thursday and he's still a mess," Bon said quietly glancing toward the other end of the library table where Konekomaru was helping Rin, Shiemi and Shima study. Rin's head was down on the desk as if he'd fallen asleep in the middle of being quizzed. "He's getting worse."<p>

Izumo scowled, "So what are we supposed to do about it?" she asked in an angry whisper. "If we tell him to go against Yukio he'll just get mad at us."

"The treatments are way too much, but there still might be something we don't know," Bon hedged

Konekomaru nudged Rin's shoulder until the dark haired boy lifted his head, then offered him a can of tomato juice.

"No coffee?" Rin asked.

"This is healthier energy," Konekomaru replied and smiled hopefully.

Rin sighed and took a small sip. "What was the question?"

"Kin of Astaroth?" Konekomaru asked.

Rin gave him a blank look.

"King of Rot…" Konekomaru prompted.

Rin scowled fiercely as he tried to recall "Kin of Astaroth: Naberius, Ghouls, Coal Tar, Ha… Hat? Hag?... It's tied to it's grave, right?"

"Haugbui, and yes, it's basically a ghoul that remains tied to it's own grave." Konekomaru confirmed. "And they're weak against?"

Rin let his head slump back to the desk. Shiemi gave him a worried look as she tentatively raised her hand.

"It's fire idiot, the stuff you wield?" Izumo snapped. "You're never going to pass at this rate, let alone in four months." She threw up her hands in frustration. "Maybe I can claim him as a familiar. I am a tamer and he's a demon. It's considered terribly rude to kill another Exorcist's familiar."

"Wouldn't work," Konekomaru sighed, he rambled on academically. "Satan's a Fallen, The Fallen really, so Rin must be the same. They absolutely can't be tamed as familiars and summoning them is generally frowned on. No human exorcist can hope to dominant a being that rebelled against God."

"Did not," Rin muttered, half asleep.

* * *

><p>Nagatomo dropped into one of the chairs in Mephisto's office with a frustrated huff. "I've tried talking to the Exorcists on campus who might have access to Rin, but so many of them are suspicious of him it's hard to narrow down who might be abusing Rin out of the pool of people who hate him on principal."<p>

"Yes, I'm encountering similar with his instructors," Mephisto admitted with a frown. "There is hardly an Exorcist alive over the age of 20 who does not personally remember the Blue Night and it will be decades before it becomes common to have Exorcists who did not lose a family member that night. And that is what they all think of when they see Rin-kun's flames, It does not make him a popular individual."

"His classmates appear to have gotten over their concerns about Rin," Nagatomo said with a small smile. "It is really great to see Rin finally making friends. We'd practically given up on ever seeing that. His whole life, Yukio's been the only other child he's ever been able to get close to."

* * *

><p>Yukio walked into the old dorm's cafeteria and found Kuro crouched on top of one of the tables, lapping milk out of his bowl. At the sight of the other Yukio scowled and rested one hand on his holstered pistol while Kuro's fur bristled and his lips peeled back displaying fangs.<p>

After a moment Yukio straightened. "I may not know what you're telling Rin, but I know it's not working," he said. "I'm his brother, you're nothing but a _pet_. He'll never take your word over mine."

/I'll make Rin listen!/ Kuro yowled. /I won't let you take him away! I won't lose him like I lost Shiro! I won't!/

Yukio smiled unpleasantly. "I can't understand a word you say, you little beast. Most people don't even believe that Rin understands you. What can you do?"

Kuro dug his claws into the edge of the table, scoring it deeply. /Whatever I have to!/ he hissed.

"I'll be sure to complain to Rin about how out of control his pet is." Yukio said eyeing the damage to the table coolly. He walked past Kuro, dismissing the cat sith as unimportant.

* * *

><p>From Bon's perspective one minute he and Rin were side by side, dodging Professor Kaoru's demon of the week, the next Rin was on the ground. As was normal, Professor Kaoru was long gone, off taking another call from his sweetheart.<p>

Bon spun on his heel, grabbed Rin's arm and threw both them against the wall at the edge of the training pit. Shiemi called on Nii-chan to create a barrier to shield the two boys from the demon while Izumo sprinted for the creature's chain and curbed it harshly, using the mechanism to drag it back toward the center of the pit. Konekomaru and Shima leaned down into the pit, offering Rin and Bon a hand up.

"What the hell happened?" Bon demanded. Rin blinked up at him, the wall he was slumped against looked like it was the only thing keeping him even partially upright. Slowly Bon looked down at his hand encircling Rin's wrist, his thumb and fingers overlapping. "Damn," he said softly. "Konekomaru mentioned… But I didn't think…"

Rin blinked and looked down to see what Bon was talking about. He frowned, there didn't used to be a visible divot between the bones of his forearm. Bon gave him a boost up to the ladder then Shima and Konekomaru grabbed his arms and hauled him up to the rim.

Bon climbed up himself then scowled at Rin, "You're supposed to let us know when you're hurting," he accused as the rest of the Exwires joined them.

Rin sat down and leaned his head against his knees. "Just dizzy," he protested. "Don't feel so bad."

"You look anorexic," Bon stated bluntly. "When's the last time you ate?"

Rin shrugged, not raising his head. "Eat a little when I cook, just not hungry."

"That's not a reason," Bon frowned. "You can't starve yourself and say you're not hungry!"

"You try eating when everything hurts all the damn time," Rin snapped glaring up at Bon through his bangs.

The others stared at him in stunned silence.

Rin hunched back in on himself, "It's okay. I'm okay." He tilted his head up and pasted on a smile for the others. "I won't quit. You don't have to worry."

* * *

><p>The next day, using his keys to get from the regular True Cross Academy to the cram school, Bon reached Yukio's office just as the young teacher's office hours began.<p>

Yukio smiled pleasantly when he saw the stripe-haired boy. "Suguro-kun, how can I help you?"

Bon closed the door behind him and gave Yukio a serious look. "Did Rin talk to you about easing up his Saturday treatment?" he asked.

Yukio's eyes lost their warmth. "No, not that I can see that it's any business of yours."

"He can't concentrate in class, especially during the early part of the week. And he's getting steadily worse," Bon stated.

Yukio sighed. "Suguro-kun, while it is a pleasant surprise that you're concerning yourself with my brother's grades, I have to tell you, I have witness Rin's scholastic performance since his first day in a classroom. He's never been able to concentrate."

"I don't imagine his life ever depended on his grades before," Bon argued. "We've all been trying to help him study and it was working at first, but he's too sick now."

"He needs the treatments," Yukio said flatly.

Bon's lips pressed together in a thin, hard line. For several moments he remained silent, then said, "Kamiki and I both looked into Rin's treatments. We couldn't find any evidence that they'd do anything beyond making him sick."

"And the two of you, first year Exwires, are experts in the subject?" Yukio asked coldly.

Bon's chin came up stubbornly. "Nothing, not a word. Between the two of us we would have found something about purifying a demonic aura, instead we find the means to incapacitate a high-level demon. What are you really trying to do to your twin?"

Yukio looked away. "If the Vatican thinks Rin is a threat they'll kill him."

"If they can't use him they'll kill him," Bon countered. "That's what this whole six months to pass the Exorcist Exam is about isn't it? If they can use him against Satan, they'll let him live. You should be doing everything you can to help him get stronger, not to keep him weak."

Yukio considered Bon for a time. "What the Vatican wants is an obedient, biddable weapon, and if you think Rin will ever be that, Suguro-san, then you don't know my brother very well. Rin is a creature of instinct and emotion, not logic or reason. When confronted with a problem or threat, Rin doesn't think, he reacts. Besides, do _you _really want Satan's son getting stronger, Child of the Cursed Temple?"

Bon looked as if Yukio had just slapped him. "Rin may have gotten Satan's powers, but I think you're the one who inherited his heart," he said.

Yukio tilted his head to one side. "Fortunately what you think is of no relevance. The more you worry about the effect of his treatments, the more concern, the more caring you show Rin, the more determined it will make him to continue the treatments. Every step of the way it's been Rin, not me, pushing to increase his treatments. It's Rin who rinses his skin in holy water knowing what it will do to him because of his demonic nature. Anything to keep his friends."

"His whole life Rin has been trying and failing to make friends," Yukio continued. "Now that he finally has them, nothing is too much to keep them. And you'll never convince Rin that the treatments aren't the reason why you haven't turned on him like everyone else. Are you even sure yourself that it's not the treatements that let you tolerate him?"

"Besides I'm not dictating the treatments to Rin, I'm not forcing him to do anything. In fact Rin went against my explicit advice to add to his treatment regime, he thinks I don't know. When I told him he couldn't undergo purification during the training camp, he found a way around my limitations. You think I'm the problem, Surugo? I'm the only thing keeping Rin from going even further."

"Rin's killing himself and you're encouraging it," Bon protested.

"I'm protecting Rin," Yukio insisted. "You may not agree with my methods, but it's not last of _your _family with their neck on a block. I will do whatever it takes to make Rin safe. You see, I'm not your enemy… and you don't want to be mine. Worry about restoring your temple and leave my brother's welfare to me. There's nothing you can do about Rin anyway."

Bon glared at Yukio furiously then spun on his heel and stomped out of the office, slamming the door behind him.


	10. Ashes

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Ten: Ashes**

Shiemi nodded nervously to the junior Exorcist manning the front desk at the 4th floor of the True Cross Academy Library as she approached the turnstile. He glanced at the Exorcist pin on her uniform then smiled and waved her in, "Studying hard?" he asked.

"Oh! Um yes!" Shiemi nodded her head vigorously. She hurried on to the back area where there were a number of small rooms for study groups to meet. The other Exwires, minus Rin, were already waiting in one of the rooms when she arrived. Bon was scowling darkly and pacing, the other watched him with looks of worry and curiosity.

"So spill already," Shima demanded as soon as Shiemi shut the door behind her.

"We have to get Rin away from his brother," Bon exploded.

"What?" Shima exclaimed. Konekomaru stared in disbelief and Shiemi missed the chair she'd been about to sit in she was so shocked. Izumo looked worried but not surprised.

"Those 'treatments'? They're a load of crap," Bon continued angrily. "Yukio says he's 'protecting' Rin but at the rate things are going, forget about Rin passing the Exorcist Exam he's going to be too sick to even sit for the Exam come January."

"But Rin said-" Konekomaru began hesitantly.

"Rin trusts his brother," Bon snarled. "Everything Rin believes about his powers, his demon blood, it comes from Yukio. This evil aura stuff? It's not real, that's why none of us ever sensed it. It's not because he's mitigating his demon blood, it doesn't exist. We didn't sense it to start with, we didn't sense the change that necessitated the increased treatments that are making him so sick, because it doesn't exist. Rin's in constant pain, so bad he can't think straight, can't even eat or probably sleep, because his brother tells him he has to hurt himself and Rin believes him!"

Shiemi twisted her hands together in distress, "You have to be wrong, Yuki-chan wouldn't- he wouldn't hurt Rin."

"He's crazy," Bon stated flatly. "He thinks this is 'protecting' Rin."

"Why?" Shiemi asked desperately.

"Because the six month deadline is an excuse isn't it?" Shima realized. "No one passes the Exorcist Exam that quick, Yukio thinks the Grigori is just looking for a reason to kill Rin."

Bon grimaced then nodded. "He thinks if Rin is weak and sick they won't bother killing him, but who care? Yukio is killing Rin himself!"

"_We _don't want the Grigori to kill Rin either," Shiemi protested.

"Yukio wouldn't listen when I tried to tell him how sick Rin's getting, that he's got to lighten up," Bon exclaimed. "Just went on about how I can't do anything to stop him. Well screw that! We're getting him out of Rin's life, somehow."

Izumo slapped the table, silencing the others, "Yukio's plan has no chance of working. Even if he does manage to find a balance that keeps Rin sufficiently helpless without killing him it won't work," she said. "Yukio's ignoring who Rin is. Do you think Rin is going to stop trying to protect us just because he feels lousy? No matter how sick he is, it won't stop him from jumping in when we're in trouble."

"So no matter what we do Rin's going to die anyway?" Shiemi demanded. "Either the Grigori will execute him, or Yuki's treatments will kill him or Rin will get himself killed trying to protect us? And there's nothing we can do? I won't accept that!"

"Mesphisto," Konekomaru said. "He's manipulating things too. High level demons like the Earth King aren't supposed to be able to get into the Academy because of Mephisto. It was both impossible and very convenient that Amaimon broke up that kangeroo court they were holding wasn't it? Mephisto is trying to convince the Grigori that they can use Rin as a weapon, because as long as they want to use Rin they have to let him live."

"Yukio thinks Rin won't cooperate," Bon admitted. "And he might have point there: Rin's too much his own person; he won't be a soulless automaton like that Angel guy, following orders without thinking for himself."

"Mephisto obviously knows how to manipulate the Grigori into putting up with a very high level demon and one everyone suspects has his own agenda," Izumo pointed out. "Yukio's an idiot to think he knows more about how to manage the Grigori than someone who's been successfully doing exactly that for decades."

"At this point I don't know that I trust anyone! Yukio is Rin's brother and our teacher and look at what he's doing!" Bon exclaimed then he sighed. "But throwing in with Mephisto looks like the best bet. Even if Yukio really is trying to protect Rin in some messed up way, he's still killing Rin faster than anybody else. If we want Rin to be okay, Yukio has to go."

"Should we tell Mephisto what Yukio's doing?" Shima asked.

"Rin won't like it," Izumo said hesitantly.

"Because we tattled?" Shiemi asked frowning.

"So what?" Konekomaru demanded. "This is too serious to worry about that."

"Because if we make Rin think he has to choose between us and Yukio he could, probably would, choose Yukio! What with the way you all acted when you first found out about him being a demon!" Izumo exclaimed angrily. "I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, he could. Yukio's his family, and with family, no matter how terrible they are, there's always a part of you that thinks losing them would be the worst thing ever. If he pulls away from us who's going to protect him from Yukio?"

For several moments the group was silent. "If we figured it out, Mephisto probably knows anyway," Bon decided.

"How are we supposed to get Yukio away from Rin, when Rin's going to be the first person to jump to Yukio's defense?" Shima asked in angry frustration.

Slowly a strange grin spread across Bon's face. "I think your lousy study habits are actually going to serve a purpose for once." he told Shima.

* * *

><p>Shima headed Rin off as the half-demon slowly made his way toward his classroom the next Monday. "Skip," the pink-haired boy said.<p>

Rin stared at him in disbelief.

"No one's actually going to kill you for flunking algebra," Shima continued. "My dorm room's just around the corner, go sleep. I'll wake you up for cram school." He grinned lecherously, "Shiemi gave me some 'sancho' for you, if you worked it a little I bet you could get her to apply it for you next week."

Rin blushed hotly.

"This whole thing pretty much sucks," Shima declared. "If there are any silver linings to be had you definitely should take advantage. Just think about it, Shiemi's lithe little hands on your bare skin…"

Rin's face went from beet-red to chalk, "Could you PLEASE not mention anything like that ever again?" he asked in a pained voice.

"What?"

Rin squirmed uncomfortably. "Holy water burns."

Shima turned a sickly shade of green as he glanced downward. "There?" he squeaked.

Rin nodded, distinctly not looking at Shima.

"Oh man, I think I'd just let myself be evil," Shima said. "And if anyone ever questions your dedication to being an Exorcist, I'm telling 'em flat out that they're morons."

He hesitated for a moment then said "You know none of us ever sensed anything." Rin's expression turned defensive. Shima plowed on determinedly. "Maybe Yukio's not a good judge of what your aura's like. Maybe, I don't know, maybe he's over-sensitized to you 'cause you gave him his masho. Maybe he doesn't realized that no one else can sense what he senses. Seriously Rin, you've never felt evil to us. Maybe the problem's Yukio's sensitivity, not your aura. Bon's got an extra bed in his room, you could try moving in with him." Shima grinned. "Or we could trade around a bit, put Koneko in with Bon then you and I could slack off on homework together, well regular homework anyway, without someone sitting there giving us the evil-eye. Bon and Koneko are both a pain in the butt. It's alway 'Do your homework, Shima.' 'Looking up pictures of succubi does not count as studying', killjoys both of them."

Rin grinned a little, "Sounds fun but I'm not allowed to stay with normal people. Yukio's like my jailor, 'cause he's a full Exorcist and all. I'm pretty sure he's got orders to kill me if I ever go berserk or anything. I guess he might be a little paranoid about me going evil because he doesn't want to have to do that."

* * *

><p>Later that week, Rin was sleeping on his textbook during the Exwire's evening study session. The others exchanged glances and then Shima complained loudly. "If I read one more word my eyes are gonna bleed." He reached out and ruffled Rin's hair. Rin looked up blinking sleepily at the group. "Let's call it a night," Shima said.<p>

"It is late," Bon admitted. "Why don't we get some dinner before we split up?"

"No money," Rin said.

"We'll cover you this time," Konekomaru offered. "Saturday night we could make plans to have dinner together. You're a really good cook so why don't you show off a little to even things up? We'll supply the groceries and you could see if any of us are teachable."

"That's okay with everyone?" Rin asked and received a number of nods.

"Kamiki should definitely learn to cook," Bon said. He turned to the dark haired girl and smirked, "If you ever want to get married that is."

"You're a moron," Izumo replied haughtily.

"You should bring Paku, I bet she could help Rin teach you how cook," Bon continued.

As the group headed off, Izumo let Shima, Rin, Konekomaru and Shiemi get well ahead of them. "I will bring Paku," she said. "But only because Rin needs all the friends who aren't Yukio that he can get. But just so you know, you really are a complete moron."

"We could use my dorm," Rin was saying excitedly when they caught up. "I've got this whole big kitchen."

Shima made a face, "We'd have to invite Okumura-Sensei then. He may be your twin but he's still a teacher, I don't want someone nagging me about homework on a Saturday night."

"There's a kitchenette at our dorm," Konekomaru pointed out. "We'll get the groceries ahead of time, it'll be easier to just cook there too."

* * *

><p>As planned, Saturday after Cram School finished the Exwires gathered at the Kyoto trio's dorm.<p>

Rin wrinkled his nose when he got a look at the kitchenette. "We should have gone to my dorm, this is tiny," he complained.

"We're here now," Shima shrugged.

"We'll just have to co-opt the lounge," Rin decided. "Okay, lets get the veggies chopped. I'll do the carrots since they go in first. Bon, you can be in charge the pan, so start the oil heating."

About the time Rin was had the carrots chopped, there was black smoke coming off of the frying pan. "I think something's wrong," Bon admitted when he saw Rin's expression.

"Well yeah, the smoke alert's probably gonna go off any minute now and you don't want_ that_ doubling as a cooking timer," Rin exclaimed throwing open a window and turning the fan over the stove to high. "Try to fan some of the smoke out before we evacuate the building. The stove's too hot, you didn't use enough oil and you should have yelled when it started smoking!"

"I never said I knew how to cook," Bon protested.

Rin huffed, he quickly rinsed out the pan and started it again. "Five minutes then dump the carrots in," he instructed. "Don't turn up the heat and don't stop stirring once they're in."

"I got it," Bon said and Rin went back to check on the others.

Izumo's habit of holding her knife like a weapon rather than cooking implement hadn't changed since the Exwire Camp that summer. "The veggies aren't going to attack you," Rin said as he casually reached around Izumo to correct her hold. Izumo's cheeks pinked at the near hug. It took Rin several seconds, and seeing Shima's thumbs up, to catch on then he jumped back stammering apologies.

"So like this?" Izumo asked pretending her face wasn't red.

Paku and Shiemi glanced at each other "Cute!" Shiemi whispered and Paku stifled a giggle. Izumo raised her chin and turned her back on them.

"Yeah, that's better," Rin said quickly. He retreated back into the kitchen and started unpacking the spices he'd brought from his dorm, keeping his head ducked over his bag to hide that he was blushing as well.

Once most of the prep work was done, Rin took over the frying pan from Bon and before long delicious smells were wafting out of the little kitchenette drawing interest from a number of the other residents.

"I've got some pastries my mom sent," one boy offered. "Can we trade a little?" Before long a potluck had sprung up. Bon escorted Paku back over to the girl's dorm to invite them to join the growing party while Rin sent Shiemi and Konekomaru out for more supplies and slowed down his cooking to give the late-comers time to round up their own contributions.

The frequent compliments on his cooking kept Rin's ears pink and a huge smile on his face as the party progressed. The other Exwires were careful to take over watching the pan every now and then to make sure Rin ate rather than just cooked, still it was only eight o'clock when his energy started to flag. Paku smiled kindly at him as she took the spatula out of his hand, "I've got it, you go make sure you get some of the desserts. Akane-chan's mochi is really good and I know Izumo saved some for you," she told him.

Half and an hour later, Bon spotted Izumo sitting stiffly in one corner of the lounge, Rin was asleep with his head in her lap, face buried against her stomach. "Don't say anything!" she hissed quietly. "He fell asleep against my shoulder… then he- well he got comfortable."

"Tonight's one 'treatment' that he'll miss," Bon said softly. "Good job. There's an empty bed in my room, let's see if we can move him without waking him up." He knelt in front of the couch and carefully rolled Rin into his arms. Bon shivered as he stood up, there was nothing to Rin except skin and bones. "Collect up some of the left-over and stick 'em in the fridge, I'll make sure he eats again in the morning."

* * *

><p>Kuro woke up to the sound of shouting. He glanced at the clock and saw it was 10:32pm.<p>

"You're completely irresponsible Rin!" Yukio shouted.

"I fell asleep Yukio, it's not the end of the world," Rin complained.

"You're hours overdue for your treatment!" Yukio responded angrily.

"So what? I'm here now," Rin pointed out. "My aura wasn't bad enough to bother Bon, or he would have woke me up and sent me home instead of dumping me on the spare bunk in his room."

"I don't know why I even bother trying to help someone like you," Yukio snapped. "You've always been like this, you won't do anything anyone tells you. You just do as you please and never think of the consequences until it's too late."

"Fine, if you're in such a hurry!" Rin stomped up the stairs, shedding clothes as he went.

"Fine!" Yukio went after Rin, stopping by his room briefly to grab a vial of holy water out of his trunk.

Neither boy paid any attention to Kuro as the Sith Cat cowered in a corner of the bathroom, tails down and brisling fearfully.

Yukio poured the vial of holy water into the furo while Rin showered with quick angry movements. When neither of them showed any sign of backing down Kuro lept on Rin transforming as he did so and pinning the surprised boy to the ground. /He's mad at you! Don't do this now! He'll hurt you!/ Kuro protested.

Yukio drew his gun.

"No!" Rin cried even as Yukio fired.

Kuro hissed furiously at Yukio, but refused to move off of Rin.

"Stop! Both of you stop!" Rin shouted.

Yukio smoothly ejecting the clip and replacing it with a specially marked one from his belt. This time when he fired Kuro collapsed.

Rin rolled and caught the now kitten-sized cat sith as he fell. "He was just scared because we were so mad!" he protested cradling Kuro against his chest.

Yukio pursed his lips. "Kuro was never truly your familiar. The two of you bonded, but you were never strong enough to control him like Father did. He wasn't safe."

"He was trying to protect me!" Rin looked up at Yukio, tears streaming down his face. "He was just trying to…" Rin's voice broke into sobs. "...just like Dad."

Yukio turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Rin sobbing. Several minutes later, when Rin's choked sobs escalated to keening, Yukio put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes tightly. He was relieved when the cries finally taper off into silence. After ten minutes of silence a cold lump began to form in Yukio's stomach, silently he crept across the hall and cracked the bathroom door open. Kuro's body lay in the center of the room, carefully wrapped in several towels. The water in the furo was boiling. "No one else dies for me" was written across the mirror in Rin's messy scrawl.

Slowly Yukio's gaze was drawn back to the furo. Then he was running. He reached into the roiling holy water mix and lifted Rin's submerged body out.

Rin was not recognizable. A twisted blackened body that Yukio only knew was Rin due to circumstances. The body convulsed as if choking and Yukio wondered how long Rin had been underwater. He turned Rin on his side and tried to clear his lungs. Very little water came up. Yukio pried Rin's mouth open and his breath caught; the interior of Rin's mouth was blistered and burned. His throat had swollen completely shut.

Yukio sat back on his heels, frozen while Rin's struggles for air weaken. "No," Yukio shouted. "No, you don't die, you aren't allowed to die!" He grabbed the first aid kit and dumped it on the floor, digging through the contents until he had a scalpel and a length of hollow tubing.

Yukio went back to Rin, he took several deep breaths then glared at his hand until it stopped shaking. He pressed the scalpel to Rin's throat.

* * *

><p>The clock read 3:46am. Mephisto sat on his couch, elbows propped on his knees, staring at his TV screen utterly enthralled by the misadventures of an extremely moe girl with bubble-gum pink hair. A green hamster was perched on the back of couch, more interested in figuring out how to manage a lollipop given his small mouth than in the show.<p>

A sudden, frantic banging on the door startled both of them. "It's hardly the time for dropping by," Mephisto said with a frown. He opened the door and Yukio all but fell into the room. There was dried blood covering the front of the young instructor's shirt.

"It's Rin," Yukio said breathlessly. "He killed himself."

The hamster dropped his lollipop on the floor. Mephisto shook his head. "He inherited the blue flames, I have plans for him, he can't be dead. You must be mistaken."

"Do you think I'd make a mistake about something like that?" Yukio demanded furiously. "My twin is dead!"

"I- This wasn't what was supposed to happen." It was extremely rare that anything happened which wasn't caused or covered by one of Mephisto's contingencies. "Where is he?"

"The dorm," Yukio said. "I went to the bathroom and found him."

Mephisto took out his keys and walked to the closet. He opened the door and step through into hall on the fifth floor of the old dorm, just outside of the the bathroom. Yukio and the hamster followed him. But when Mephisto reached for the bathroom door Yukio stepped back shaking his head.

Mephisto went in, the hamster scurried between his feet. A charred, unrecognizable corpse lay on the floor in the center of the bathroom in front of a tub of murky water. A short suicide note was scrawled across the mirror and smaller, feline body, covered with a towel lay nearby. Mephisto crouched beside the body, he stretched out a hand over it, "I don't sense even a spark."

Amaimon popped back into his human form. "There's no tail," he said.

"No fingers either," Mephisto observed distantly. "I think they burned away completely. This wasn't in my plans." He looked around the bathroom again. "Where is the sword?" Mephisto leapt to his feet and strode back across the hall, slamming open the door to Yukio and Rin's dorm room. "The sword! Where is the sword!"

"Who cares about the damned sword!" Yukio shouted. "It ruined Rin's life! Why didn't you throw that accursed thing in the deepest part of the ocean where no one would ever draw it?"

"Just because there is nothing in his body, if there is a spark still remaining in the sword we might be able to bring him back." Mephisto explained. "Demons are stubborn, we cling to life against all odds."

"I don't know. Rin never should have drawn that sword. Father never should have trusted him with it." Yukio said stubbornly. "Maybe he finally buried it, the way you both should have."

Mephisto's shoulders slumped. "I have to find the sword, if there's any chance at all it lies with the sword." A green hamster scurried out of the bathroom and clawed it's way up Mephisto's clothing to perch on his shoulder. "We have to find the sword, quietly," Mephisto repeated putting a hand over the hamster's back.

* * *

><p>"Rin must have woken up sometime last night and went back to his own dorm," Bon said unhappily as he Konekomaru and Shima jogged along the path around the edge of campus shortly after dawn.<p>

"You didn't wake up when the fire alarm got pulled last month," Konekomaru commented. "I'm not surprised Rin managed to slip out without you noticing. Next time trade rooms with me, I've got the best chance of waking up and trying to talk him into staying." Konekomaru looked thoughtful. "Do you think it's possible that Shima's actually right about Yukio being over-sensitized to Rin because Rin gave him his masho?"

Bon shook his head. "Yukio's not acting in good faith. The quicker we all get that through our heads the better. He's not trying help and screwing up, he's out to hurt Rin. Still it was a good lie," he told Shima. "I don't really like this, too close to the sort of crap my old man would pull, but I think we should stick with it. It gives Rin a reason to stay away from Yukio that doesn't require him accepting that Yukio's the bad guy."

The three boys crested a small hill and the Old Men's Dorm came into view. There were a half-dozen Exorcists standing around the dorm.

"Think something happened with Rin and his brother?" Shima asked worriedly as Bon hurried toward the dorm.

They were almost to the entrance when Angel stepped out of the door supervising the removal of a body bag. "What happened?" Bon demanded.

"The demon-spawn saved us the trouble of executing him," Angel declared with a flip of his hair. "Drowned himself in holy water." The paladin turned back toward the dorm and called. "Destroy the Cat Sith's body, we might be able to learn something about Satan by dissecting the brat's body but the familiar is worthless."

Bon kicked Angel's legs out from under him, but before he could follow up on the attack Angel caught himself and knocked Bon back with the hilt of his sword. "What is your problem?" Angel demanded angrily, dusting himself off.

Shima grabbed Bon before he could throw himself at Angel again. "You're the monster, not Rin," Bon snarled.

Konekomaru stepped in front of Bon. "I'll take Kuro's body," he stated quietly. "Rin would want him to have a proper burial."

"Do what you like," Angel said dismissively.

"We can't let that bastard cut Rin up," Shima whispered quietly to Bon as Konekomaru followed one of the Exorcists into the dorm to retrieve Kuro's body. "I'll get Mephisto. Can you hold them off?"

Bon nodded. Shima let him go. Bon turned and walked to the body while Shima quietly slipped away. Before it occurred to anyone to stop him, Bon pulled a sutra out and started chanting, a barrier sprung up protecting both him and the body from Angel's team of Exorcists.

Inside the dorm Konekomaru darted away from his escort and ran to the twins' room. "Yukio! They're going to dissect Rin, you've got to stop them!" he exclaimed.

Yukio had been sitting at his desk staring off into space. He turned to Konekomaru looking alarmed. "They can't do that!" he exclaimed. He jumped up and rushed down stairs.

Shima ran across the campus as fast as he could. He was crossing the quad between the dorms when Paku leaned out a window and shouted. "Has something happened? What's wrong?"

Shima stumbled, he turned and stared up at her for a moment, "Rin- Rin's dead."

Angel glared at Bon's barrier and unlimbered his sword, looking affronted. One of the Exorcists under his command caught his arm. "I know Bon, let me talk to him."

Angel jerked his arm free indignantly. "Who are you?" he demanded, glaring at the dark-haired young woman.

"Shima Tsuzo, Middle 1st class Knight-Exorcist. Surugo Ryuji is going to be the next Myodha head priest, attacking him will cause problems with the whole Kyoto Branch. Let me talk to him."

"I don't lower myself to attacking impertinent children... unless I have to," Angel declared. "Just get him out of the way."

Shima was pounding on the door to the Academy Administration building when Izumo and Paku caught up with him. Izumo grabbed his shoulder and jerked him around to face her. "What the hell do you mean Rin's dead?" she demanded angrily.

"I mean he's dead!" Shima exclaimed. "They said he killed himself. We've got to get to Mephisto, stop 'em before they take his body." He picked up a rock and smashed the window beside the door then hurried on to Mephisto's office. Izumo and Paku ran after him.

"Ryuji listen to me," Tsuzo said quietly leaning against the barrier back at the old dorm. "Your friend is dead, nothing can change that. You can't stand against a Paladin and this one's an asshole. As soon as he runs out of patience you're going to get hurt, would your friend want that? Come on, drop the barrier, please."

Mephisto sat in his office, staring at the Koma Sword. A faint blue glow warmed the core of the sword.

"That nutcase Angel's trying to dissect Rin! You gotta stop him," Shima declared crashing into the room.

Mephisto glanced up slowly. "What does it matter? It's just a shell, Rin's abandoned it."

"Please, Bon isn't gonna be able to hold out very long against a Paladin, even if my neesan does manage to stall him a little," Shima said.

Mephisto shook his head. "Rin doesn't care about that thing," he said. He lifted the sword slightly, "His heart's still alive, it should have been enough to save him. But his heart refused that body, it's nothing."

Yukio pushed through the crowd around Bon's barrier until he was beside Tsuzo "You're a Shima, do you have a fire attack?" he asked quietly.

Tsuzo nodded. "Why?"

"Incinerate my brother, don't let them desecrate his body." Yukio requested.

"Bon?" Tsuzo asked.

Bon glared furiously at Yukio then looked for a last minute reprieve, after a moment his expression tightened. "Do it," he said. He dropped the barrier and Tsuzo summoned a Salamander. As the body burned to ashes, Bon tackled Yukio. "It's your fault!" he shouted knocking the more slender boy to the ground and punching him. "I told you Rin was killing himself."

Bon drew back his fist to punch Yukio again then froze as the barrel of one of Yukio's guns pressed into the soft flesh beneath his jaw. "You were Rin's friend, so I won't hold that against you," Yukio said coldly as he slid out from beneath Bon. Yukio winced as he removed the mangled remains of his glasses, blood was streaming down his face from where the metal frames had cut into the bridge of his nose.

"I warned you, and you let him die," Bon accused.

"Rin's safe now," Yukio asserted. "He's safe from Satan and he's safe from them," he glanced toward Angel and the other Exorcists. "They thought Rin was nothing but a weapon for them to use?" Yukio shook his head. "But it's all right, he's safe now."

"Nothing's right. Rin's dead," Bon said flatly and turned away from Yukio.

* * *

><p><strong>TeaserSpoiler/anti-warning:**

Bon stormed into the next room and grabbed the phone out of Konekomaru's hand. "What did you see?" he heard Izumo say insistently. "A body bag? A corpse that was so badly burned it was unidentifiable?"

"Shut up!" Bon shouted.

"It wasn't Rin!" Izumo shouted back. Then continued quickly "Mephisto said Rin's heart was still alive but it rejected that body. Don't you see? It wasn't Rin!"


	11. Stroking Embers

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Eleven: Stroking Embers**

Shima, Izumo and Paku slowed to a halt as the old dorm came into sight. Bon's clear, steady voice as he chanted sutras was at odds with the tears running down his face as he knelt in front of a scorched patch of pavement, his prayer beads wrapped around white knuckles. Konekomaru was beside Bon, occasionally his voice broke or faltered. Konekomaru protectively cradled Kuro's body against his chest as he chanted.

Yukio sat on the steps of the old dorm, nursing two black eyes and broken nose.

Angel's team of Exorcists milled around at an uncomfortable distance while Angel himself was glaring imperiously down at Shima's oldest sister Tsuzo. "I'll see you stripped of your rank and-"

"Yeah, yeah, have the Grigori bring your complaints to the head of my family," Tsuzo interrupted. "But I've got a feeling that they'll see it my way." She nodded toward Bon. "I may not have known much about your half-demon, but I know Surugo Ryuji, when he gets something in his head there's no dissuading him. The only way you were going to take that body was by going through Ryuji and that's not acceptable to the Myodhan."

Angel flushed angrily at being gainsaid by his subordinate.

"And while we're on the topic," Tsuzo continued. "It's my opinion that this whole debacle is your fault. If you had just a little more sensitivity than a brick we could have done what you wanted without traumatizing Okumura's friends. If you want to make this official, then go ahead and we'll just see how it plays out."

"Don't think that I won't!" Angel exclaimed as Tsuzo spotted the trio of students who had just arrived.

"Do what you want," Tsuzo said dismissively and walked over to put an arm around Shima's shoulders. "You okay Renzo?" Shima shook his head.

* * *

><p>As Nagatomo walked into the Old Dorm the next day he stopped at the kitchen door, looked in and just stood there for a long moment, silently. Then he continued up the stairs to the twins' room with a heavy tread. "Yukio," he called as he opened the door. The room was empty. Frowning he climbed up to the roof and glanced outside then started back down. At every floor he stopped and shouted for Yukio. Nagatomo met the bespeckled boy coming up from the first floor. "Where were you?" he asked accusingly.<p>

Yukio rubbed at the plaster on his nose and winced. "Around."

Nagatomo turned and walked to the 2nd floor lounge. He glanced around the dusty, disused room searchingly. "I don't even know where to start," he said as he turned to face Yukio. "Rin's classmates told us what you were doing to him. I'd realized someone was abusing Rin but, I never even looked at you. You were the last person I'd ever have thought… You and Rin were always so close."

"I don't know what they told you," Yukio began.

"The holy water-"

"Rin had been severely depressed since Father's death and learning he was a demon," Yukio said. "I had to do something, give him something he could do, could control. He was going to hurt himself anyway, I set it up so that I could act as a safety value."

"Do me the courtesy of not lying to me," Nagatomo snapped.

Yukio glared at him for a long time then finally said, "Alright. You all broke the rules."

"What?"

"First, Rin and I weren't close," Yukio said. "How could we be? I've been lying to him about everything important since we were five. But that was to protect him, because I loved him. Rin protected me from bullies by being strong and fearless and I protected his soul by never, ever telling him the truth. Because Rin had to stay innocent. That was always the rule wasn't it? Because he was a demon we had to make sure his soul stayed innocent so God wouldn't hold his parentage against him. So we never told Rin anything."

Nagatomo stared at Yukio in disbelief.

"Then he found out and we came here. They were going to make a weapon out of Rin. I had to stop them," Yukio continued. "They were wrecking him, endangering his immortal soul. Father entrusted Rin to me and they were wrecking him. So I made Rin get sick. They were supposed to forget about him since he would be useless to them, Rin wasn't supposed to die. It's not my fault Rin died, but this works too. He's safe now."

"You drove your brother to commit suicide," Nagatomo said, as if Yukio had somehow mistaken what had happened.

"It wasn't what I meant to happen, Rin wouldn't even break the right way, but this is better than letting Rin become corrupted by Satan's power," Yukio replied unphased.

* * *

><p>Bon glanced at Izumo's name flashing on his cell phone then declined the call. A moment later the phone started ringing again. Bon ignored it. Then a text message appeared. Rin's not dead.<p>

Bon snatched up the phone and quickly dialed back. "Just because you don't want to admit we should have gone to Mephisto doesn't change what happened!" he exclaimed angrily then hung up.

Shima came in the room, he was wearing a dark suit. "What's the yelling about?" he asked.

"Kamiki's delusional," Bon growled. He grabbed his tie and started knotting it with quick, jerky motions. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this without killing Yukio," he muttered.

"Just remember, a funeral's a lousy place to commit murder," Shima said. "Too many people around who might decide to stop you. Killing him later would be much better."

They heard Konekomaru's phone go off next door. After a moment they heard him say, "I wish that were true, but we saw the body."

Bon stormed into the next room and grabbed the phone out of Konekomaru's hand. "What did you see?" he heard Izumo say insistently. "A body bag? A corpse that was so badly burned it was unidentifiable?"

"Shut up!" Bon shouted.

"It wasn't Rin!" Izumo shouted back. Then continued quickly "Mephisto said Rin's heart was still alive but it rejected that body. Don't you see? It wasn't Rin!"

Bon hung up then shut off both his phone and Konekomaru's

In her own dorm room, Izumo stared at her phone in despair. She sent off a last series of texts then turned to her roommate. "I suppose you're going to the funeral too?" she asked.

Paku bit her lip, "Does it have to be now?" she asked.

"Yes!" Izumo exclaimed. "Yukio's been holed up in the dorm ever since. He's not even leaving for classes. That has to be where he has Rin hidden and this is the only time we can be sure he won't be there to interfere."

"Okay," Paku said quietly. "I'm not sure you're right, but you need this and um, I'm going think Rin would understand."

"Rin is not dead," Izumo insisted.

The two girls made their way to the old dorm and hid in the park across from it, watching until they saw Yukio leave. Then they snuck in. "Uke! Mike! Find Rin," Izumo ordered summoning her familiars.

The two Byakko gave her a disgusted look but it was another demon who said, "How are they supposed to do that? Little Brother lives here, the whole place smells like him."

Izumo stepped defensively in front of Paku. "What are you doing here?" she demanded nervously.

"I've been stuck as the youngest for eons," Amaimon complained in a flat tone. "Then, when I finally get a little brother to harass myself, I only get to play with him three times… And Big Brother makes me throw the third fight… It's not fair."

"So what? You came here to throw a tantrum?" Izumo asked.

"Big Brother always turns into an idiot when something upsets his plans," Amaimon informed them. "It didn't have a tail and it wasn't bloody."

"Why would Rin's body be bloody?" Izumo asked. "He supposedly drowned himself in holy water."

Amaimon shrugged. "Don't know, but the other one, the human one, was covered in Little Brother's blood when he told us."

* * *

><p>The first few days after Rin's death, Shiemi had retreated back to her gardens. She hadn't been sure she'd ever want to see anyone ever again, but Rin had been the one to make her realize that her Grandmother wouldn't have wanted her to lock herself away and Shiemi knew Rin wouldn't want it either. So on the third day she'd returned to Cram School.<p>

_Mephisto had been sitting on the instructor's desk, "Ah good, you're here," he said when Shiemi came in. "I was going to send a message." Izumo arrived a few minutes after Shiemi, she had an oversized raincoat wrapped tightly around her with the hood pulled up. She made a small pained noise at the sight of Rin's sword lying unsheathed on the desk behind Mephisto. Despite what had happened there was still a faint blue glow warming the metal of the blade. Izumo quickly retreated to the front corner of the room where she turned her chair toward the wall, further hide herself from any of her classmates. _

_When Bon, Shima and Konekomaru arrived, Konekomaru came over and sat beside Shiemi while Bon glared hatefully at Izumo. "It's good to see you," Konekomaru said quietly. "We were worried."_

"_What's going on?" Shiemi asked looking from Izumo to Bon._

_Konekomaru's lips thinned. "Bon, he, um, told Kamiki that it was her fault," he explained, his voice dropping even further. "It, well, it doesn't matter now, what we should have done." _

_Mephisto cleared his throat. "I see everyone is here," he declared. "Good, I have an announcement: Father Nagatomo, as Rin's priest at the time of his death, has concluded that Rin, no matter how misguided in his beliefs, acted out of a sincere desire to protect the lives of others rather than out of a desire to end his own life. However there are is concern that Father Nagatomo's conclusions may be overturned or objections may be raised due to Rin's parentage." The class stared at him in shock. Mephisto continued in a flat clipped voice. "So in the interest of prudence, the clerics from the monastery where Rin grew up have decided to hold his funeral quickly and quietly before anyone thinks to forbid it. It will be tomorrow at two o'clock, directions to the Monastery have been sent to your phones. If Rin had any friends outside of the five of you, you may give them the date and time, but do be a bit circumspect."_

"_What's going to be done about Yukio?" Bon demanded._

_Mephisto's mouth thinned. "Very little. He may face some censure for inciting the destruction of the body before it could be studied, but as for Yukio's culpability in his twin's death? No one cares," he stated bluntly. "Rin's execution was decreed several months before his birth. The only reason he lived past his first week was because Father Fujimoto defied the Grigori's will. Rin is-was still under a death sentence, it had been suspended pending re-evaluation but it was never revoked. To the Grigori his death is simply an oversight which has now been rectified. If anything it simplifies their life that he is dead and they won't have to admit that they were wrong to order his execution in the first place. One might hope that God will feel some discomfort facing his young Hell-born Angel but perhaps even He will choose to let Himself off on a technicality."_

Shiemi fidgeted with the sleeves of her kimono. The atmosphere in the monastery's small chapel was suffocating. The few people who had come only emphasized the room's emptiness as they sat in scattered clumps, barely able to stand each other's company. The picture of Rin which sat beside the empty coffin was several years old and while Shiemi had failed to notice Rin's pointed ears and fangs for months, she found their absence in the old picture painful.

Their replacement Summonings teacher, Father Nagatomo, had joined the monastery's clerics, seeing him with them, Shiemi was surprised to realize that he had been part of Rin and Yukio's family.

Mephisto leaned against the door jam, not quite willing to come in to the chapel. Rin's sword hung at his side, still unsheathed but wrapped in a thick swath of velvet.

Yukio sat alone at the front of the chapel. An older priest with greying, close-cropped hair had tried talking to him when he first arrived but after a few minutes he'd backed off looking severely disturbed. Shiemi's mother had tried to encourage her to talk to Yukio, but she had refused, shaking her head violently. Shiemi thought maybe she could have talked to Yukio if he'd shown remorse for Rin's death. She thought she could have yelled at him if he'd grieved without admitting guilt. But when Yukio continued to maintain that it was for the best that Rin was dead Shiemi found that she could hardly stand to be in the same building with him.

Shiemi wondered if it was because of Yukio or because of Bon that Izumo hadn't shown up. Bon, Shima and Konekomaru were sitting uncomfortably at the back of the chapel, as far from Yukio as possible while staying in the room. Sheimi could tell there was some sort of disagreement between the three Myohdan boys from their body language as they huddled together whispering tersely.

Suddenly Bon jumped to his feet and stormed out. Shima and Konekomaru gave everyone an apologetic look before following him. Shiemi hesitated for a few moments then ran out too. "I'm going already!" Bon exclaimed just as Shiemi caught up to the group. "Kamiki's crazy but humoring her is better than sitting there watching everyone pretend like Yukio's not a murderer."

"What's going on?" Shiemi asked.

"Kamiki is searching the old dorm," Konekomaru said quietly as he and Shiemi followed after Bon and Shima. "She thinks Rin isn't dead and Yukio has him hidden there. If there's any possibility..."

Shiemi nodded. "We have to try."

When they arrived at the old dorm they found Amaimon smashing down doors while Izumo's familiars were eliminating any place in the dorm where Rin hadn't been recently. Paku was sticking close by Izumo while they searched a floor Amaimon wasn't on.

"What's he doing here?" Bon demanded.

Izumo glared at him, "Looking for Rin. He doesn't think Rin's dead either!"

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Konekomaru asked her.

"No, but we can't fight him," Izumo admitted pulling Paku behind her nervously. "And, frankly, between him and Yukio, I've decided I like this brother better. At least Rin knows when this one attacks him."

"If we're going to do this, lets do it," Bon said impatiently.

Shiemi nodded and headed for the attic space where Yukio had hidden Rin from Neuhaus months ago. Bon and Shima followed Izumo's example and picked a hallway where Amaimon wasn't to start checking rooms. Konekomaru noticed a narrow staircase leading down. He grabbed a flashlight out of his backpack and followed it down to the boiler room.

Konekomaru's light cast eerie shadows as it danced over the outdated equipment and a labyrinthine tangle of pipes, hanging from a low ceiling. He swallowed and edged deeper into the claustrophobic room. Konekomaru peered around an ancient coal box and gasped. He ran back for the doorway, digging in his bag for the key they'd received along with their approval to go on missions. Konekomaru shoved it in the lock and burst into the True Cross Academy emergency room. "We need help!" he screamed.

* * *

><p>A week later Yukio reported to Mephisto's office as ordered. He marched stiffly up the stairs, his face blank. Father Nagatomo intercepted him in the hall outside of Mephisto's office.<p>

Yukio tilted his chin up stared at him without apology. "It was better than actually killing him wasn't it?" he asked rhetorically before Nagatomo could say anything. "And it was for Rin's own good. If he would have learned to behave himself and stay out of trouble I wouldn't have had to go so far."

"Don't blame Rin for what you did," Nagatomo snapped. "You know, all the time when you were little kids, all the trouble Rin got into, he never once said it was your fault. He never said that if he hadn't needed to protect you he wouldn't have gotten in so many fights."

"If he hadn't been my brother I wouldn't have needed protection," Yukio said. "I wouldn't have gotten picked on for seeing invisible monsters if I didn't have a demon for a brother. Even so, I don't want Rin to die. All this self-righteous posturing and none of you seem to care about that."

"Did you really think you could protect Rin by destroying his soul?" Nagatomo asked. "Did you think keeping a body alive in a glass case was the same as keeping _Rin _safe?"

"Tell me this again in a year after we've buried Rin for real."

Yukio slid past Father Nagatomo and let himself into Mephisto's office. Mephisto didn't glance up from the file he was reading as Yukio came in. Yukio stood at attention his hands clasped loosely behind his back and stared at a point over Mephisto's left shoulder. "All my life Father prepared me to protect Rin when he couldn't anymore, but it wasn't going to work," he said. "Rin doesn't think, he doesn't do what he's told. I can't keep him safe when he won't cooperate."

Mephisto waited, letting Yukio have his say.

"It's not as if other things haven't been tried," Yukio insisted. "Father tried everything he could think of to get Rin to stop fighting, everything, but Rin just wouldn't. He'd see someone being cruel to a stray cat or a gang picking on someone and Rin would leap to the rescue. Nothing ever stopped him: out numbered, twice his size, carrying weapons, the mayor's _son_, Rin just doesn't care. Father died because Rin wouldn't do what he was told and it didn't change anything, he was still the same old Rin: headstrong, reckless, irresponsible."

Yukio glared at Mephisto, "And you, you give him friends? Give him a cause? Did you think that would make him better? Less of an idiot? It's not going to work, it's only going to make him more determined. Rin never had the faintest notion of moderation when it was some random person or creature he'd happened across, now you get him emotionally invested? There'll be no reasoning with him now, not that there ever was. And I'm still supposed to protect him, it's impossible!"

"Even if I assume that the Grigori won't kill him for being uncontrollable; which is almost impossible to imagine; one day they'll open up a gate to Gehanna, point him at Satan and he'll go, willingly, eagerly, right to his death, with a smile on his face. Rin is such an idiot." Yukio shook his head. "I can't let that happen; Father trusted me to protect Rin, he's my twin. If causing Father's death didn't change him nothing will. I have to keep Rin safe and he wouldn't cooperate, this was the only way. You shouldn't have taken him away from me, he's just going to get himself killed."

Yukio stared at Mephisto challengingly and awaited judgement.

Mephisto looked back at the file he'd been reading earlier, fully immersed in his Johann Faust persona. "You reviews from your students have been exceptionally poor," he tsked. If he'd suddenly started speaking yiddish, Yukio would have been less confused.

"While your genius as an exorcist is undeniable, it seems that nothing can replace experience," Mephisto continued, blithely ignoring the issue of Rin lying in a hospital bed several floors below them, barely clinging to life. "It appears you just can't connect to your students. I've arranged for you to be transferred to our Brazilian branch. Some field experience should be just the thing to aid your development." He set the file aside and started fiddling with a figurine from a recent anime, attempting to reattach it's leg.

Yukio decided he'd been excused and turned to leave. As his hand touched the door knob Mephisto added poisonously. "As for how you have only been protecting your brother from the rest of us who would hurt him or use him? Don't fool yourself. The condition Rin was in when the Exwires found him… He would have been dead after another week in your_ loving care_. And that would have been fortunate."

Yukio flinched. "You're lying," he insisted. "I knew what I was doing, I don't make mistakes."

"The last time someone tried this I was the one to put down what was left of my younger brother," Mephisto continued. "He wasn't unconscious; I suppose you didn't realize that. He was awake and aware, trapped inside an unresponsive body, feeling acid running through his veins every moment of every day. After feeling himself slowly burning alive for fifty years, death was a mercy. Rin was only under for a few days, and _now_ he has been medicated past the point of feeling pain. He may have been taken from you soon enough that he will awaken with his sanity intact. But you will never know."

Yukio shook his head in denial.

"A week ago if you'd asked me to predict your future, I would have had to imagine it would be fairly short and bloody. After all, you do dangerous work and with your twin's recent suicide no one would have been particularly surprised if your focus had suffered causing a tragic accident." Mephisto glanced up at Yukio and gave him an empty smiled. "But it seems your fate has changed. I hope you live a very, very long life."

Slowly understanding began to dawn in Yukio's eyes.

Mephisto gave a sharp bark of laughter, "Who would have believed that the human member of _my _family would be the one to provide such a twisted demonstration of love? But as demented as your expression of love for your brother is, you do love him. He is the most important thing in your life, the one thing every other aspect of your life circles around." Every trace of amusement vanished from Mephisto's face as if it had never been. "So understand this: I will do my utmost to see that you will live the rest of your life never setting foot on the same continent as Rin again. You will never see him, never hear word of him, never know what becomes of him if I have my way. And believe me, I am very, very good at accomplishing anything I set out to do."

* * *

><p>For several minutes Bon stood in the door of the hospital room. Rin looked small and lost beneath the sterile tent covering his hospital bed. Yukio's crude tracheostomy had been replaced by something that looked no less horrific to Bon's eyes, but there were a few spots visible on Rin's body where the char had fallen away to reveal frail-looking new skin beneath. Rin's flames were visible as the faintest of blue halos around him, barely more than a heat mirage over asphault on a summer's day.<p>

Mephisto sat in the visitor chair, the Koma Sword lying unsheathed across his lap. He was staring at the spot where the sword had been cracked. "No matter how carefully reforged, the metal of the blade will always carry the memory of having been broken," he said.

"What's going to happen to Rin now?" Bon asked. "The doctors say they think they'll be ready to bring him out of the coma in two months at best. In two months he'll have healed enough that the pain will be bearable and moving won't cause him even more harm. In two months he's supposed to pass the Exorcist Exam or be executed. It'll be lucky if he's even conscious by then."

Mephisto offered him a small smile. "I think you'll find our Rin-kun heals rather more quickly than the doctors anticipate. As for the exam, there was never any way he could have passed it by the Grigori's six month deadline. Two years of study is expected and he's a terrible student. I'd estimate that he will make at least four attempts before he passes the exam, assuming you lot continue tutoring him."

"But the Grigori?" Bon looked alarmed.

Mephisto's expression turned shark-like. "I wouldn't worry. I'm quite certain _something _will come up to remind the Grigori of Rin-kun's usefulness before they do anything drastic. Just like something came up during their last little visit."

Bon gave Mephisto a measuring look. "Just what are your intentions in all this?" he asked.

Mephisto threw his head back and laughed. After several minutes he collected himself enough to take note of Bon's extremely affronted expression which promptly triggered another bout of laughter that continued unabated until he was breathless and there were tears running down his cheeks. "This is why I love working with children," Mephisto announced "You say such things."

"Well?" Bon demanded.

"I rebelled against God, betrayed Satan and even after two hundred years the True Cross Order still spends part of every meeting debating my motives… And you think I'll tell you my plans simply because you asked?" Mephisto nearly started himself laughing again. Then he wiped away the tears and gave Bon a small bow. "For your audiasicity I'll reward you with three truths." He held up three fingers, then lowered one. "One: My plans for the foreseeable future require Okumura Rin alive hale. Two: I have grown inordinately fond of Assiah over the time I have made my home here. And three: If there was ever anyone I considered a friend, it was Fujimoto Shiro."

Bon glowered at him for a long time then held out his hand. "If that's all the assurance you're willing to give, I'll take possession of the sword until Rin's well again."

Mephisto held up the blade, it shimmered blue with the slowly re-emerging flames. "You know this isn't just your shrine's relic, it is also Rin's heart. Are you really that eager to take responsibility for it?"

"Seeing as how there's no one outside of our class that can be trusted to have Rin's best interest in mind, there's not much choice." Bon took the sword.

Mephisto smiled. "You'll want to keep it unsheathed as much as possible," he advised. "To speed his healing."


	12. Paradigm Shift Lost

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Note: **The manga and anime make a big deal out of Rin having to learn to control his flames, but actually it seemed like his subconscious control was always extremely good. Shura and Yukio might not have wanted to admit it but burning their clothes off without burning their skin does seem to demonstrate a natural ability to avoid hurting people he cares about that didn't require any training.

**Chapter Twelve: Paradigm Shift Lost**

Six weeks after being hospitalized Rin opened his eyes. Slowly, unsteadily he raised his hand. There was an IV sticking out of the back of it, Rin peered at it curiously, wondering why it was there. It took several more minutes for him to noticed the flames flickering softly along his skin.

Rin shuddered. With a small grunt of effort he sat up and looked around. He was in an oddly homey looking hospital room. There were a number of potted plants lining the window sill, almost enough to be considered a garden. Several more plants were arranged around the door. Someone had dragged a battered old desk into the room, an eclectic selection of holy scriptures were stacked haphazardly on one side opposite a collection of textbooks from the True Cross Academy's normal classes, a jar of pens and pencils divided the two. The standard issue visitor chair had been replaced by a worn settee and armchair that Rin thought he recognized from the lounge in his dorm. A lamp stood between the armchair and settee, positioned so that the light could be shared between both. It was currently turned off as the settee was occupied by a cocoon of blankets from which irregular snores were emanating, a tuft of pink hair poked out of the cocoon, identifying the napper as Shima. The Koma sword was resting unsheathed on the back of the settee.

Shakily Rin swung his legs over the edge of of the bed. For a moment the room dimmed around him as the blood rushed from his head in response to being upright for the first time in well over a month. Rin shook his head and stood clutching the IV pole for support. He took several stumbling steps toward the settee only to realize he'd practically have to climb on top of Shima to get the sword, there was no way he could manage that without waking the pink-haired teen.

Rin looked at Shima, then at the low flames covering him. He couldn't extinguish the flames without sheathing his sword, he couldn't be around anyone while his flames were burning, he couldn't get the sword without crawling across Shima. He had to leave, he had to leave now. How long had Shima been exposed to his aura? The pink-haired boy must despise him by now.

Rin stumbled toward the door, but as he got close the bluebells among the potted plants started chiming. Shima started awake immediately grabbing the Koma Sword protectively. "Wha? Who's there?" he demanded rubbing his eyes. "Rin? Oh wow, you're finally awake! What the hell are you doing out of bed?" He set the sword aside without sheathing it and jumped up. "If you get hurt on my watch there will be a_ line _to pound on me," he declared as he pulled Rin's arm over his shoulder, mindless of the flames.

Rin cringed away from him, the IV pole toppled over and Rin would have followed it, except for Shima catching him.

"Easy!" Shima exclaimed.

Rin stared at Shima's arm around him, passing right through the blue flames.

"Oh that, don't worry," Shima said. "Your flames don't burn us even when you're drugged to the gills and out cold. We figured that out ages ago." Then he shrugged, "You still need to be careful around people outside of our class, one of the True Cross doctors got a little singed when he didn't wait for us to sheathe Kurikara before trying to examine you."

Still keeping an arm around Rin, Shima leaned down and righted the IV Pole, "Let's get you back to bed," he said, steering Rin away from the door.

As they passed the settee, Rin squirmed free of Shima. He practically fell on the couch but he was finally able to reach of the Koma Sword. Rin sighed with relief as the blade slide back into the sheath and his flames were extinguished. As the flames died away, Rin felt a wave of weakness hit him.

Shima frowned at him, "That a good idea? You nearly died. You've been unconscious for better than a month. You need every edge you can get if you're going to be ready for the Exorcist Exam. It's only two weeks away now."

"What happened?" Rin asked, pulling the sword close to him.

"You don't remember?" Shima replied, eyes widening. "Oh man, I am totally the wrong person to be here now." He dug out his cell phone and started texting frantically.

Rin's forehead creased as he struggled to remember. "Kuro," he whispered brokenly. His breath caught harshly and then tears were spilling down his cheeks.

Shima spent a few moments looking panicked, then he swallowed his discomfort and hugged Rin tightly. "I'm sorry," he murmurred. "I am so sorry."

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before Shima's panicked text had the rest of the Exwires assembling in Rin's hospital room.<p>

Rin choked back his sobs in the face of the increased audience. "D-does anyone know what happened to Kuro's, to Kuro?" he asked scrubbing at his eyes. "I- I'd like to bury him."

"We kept his ashes," Konekomaru said gently.

Rin nodded. "He'd want to be with Dad- Shiro," he said.

"We'll figure out what we need to arrange that," Bon said. "Don't worry about it."

They heard footsteps approaching and Rin looked at the door hopefully. His expression fell when Mephisto let himself in. "You're looking much better," the older demon declared.

"Is Yukio on a mission?" Rin asked.

"He was transferred to another country, oh… weeks ago" Mephisto replied carelessly while the Exwires held their breath.

"Will he be home soon?" Rin asked.

Mephisto twirled his umbrella absently. "It's a long term posting, I wouldn't expect him to set foot in Japan for years at the least."

At the expression on Rin's face Bon exploded. "Why do you care?"

"Yukio's my twin!"

"He's the reason you almost died!" Bon growled.

Rin glanced around wildly. "You all think it's Yukio's fault? No! Yukio always monitored my treatments so I wouldn't hurt myself too badly. He always took care of me. But- after Kuro- Kuro was confused, he thought he was protecting me. I should have explained better, it was my fault. I didn't- never wanted anyone else to ever get hurt 'cause of me again. I couldn't stop it. Everything happened so fast, I couldn't stop it. So, so I- It wasn't Yukio, just me."

Bon glowered at Rin. "Yukio shot Kuro because Kuro had the good sense to be the first to get sick of standing by and watching him torture you."

Rin shook his head violently.

"Those 'treatment' Yukio told you you needed, they're nothing but crap. There is nothing wrong with your aura. You don't give off some sort of evil vibe. Everything Yukio told you was a lie. He was screwing with your head to keep you sick and weak."

"No! You're lying!" Rin shouted.

"If you don't wash with holy water after unsealing your powers we'll all hate you; that's what your brother told your right?" Izumo asked.

Rin nodded.

"Your sword's been drawn every day almost twenty-four hours a day for a month and a half," Izumo pointed out. "One of us has been here the whole time the sword's been drawn; just in case some moron saw your flames and freaked out. Believe me, there hasn't been so much as a drop of holy water in this room. If your powers worked the way you think they do one of us would have murdered you in your sleep. So, are you dead?"

"Yukio wouldn't do anything to hurt me," Rin protested. "He hated that I needed the treatments."

"You don't need them!" Bon shouted. Shiemi looked like she wanted to cry. Izumo looked frustrated. Shima was shifting uncomfortably. Konekomaru stared at the floor, his fists clenched, lips pressed tightly together.

"Yukio-" Rin began.

Konekomaru snapped. "Yukio told us you were dead! Yukio cut a hole in your throat, stuck a holy water drip in your arm and hid you in the boiler room beneath your dorm! Yukio found a body somewhere, I don't even want to know where, burned it past recognition and told us it was you so we'd never even look for you!"

"And here I thought we'd decided _not _to mention that," Mephisto muttered as Rin started shaking his head in denial. He drew his knees up to his chest, put his hands over his ears and shut his eyes.

"Shoo," Mephisto told the other Exwires, flicking his fingers toward the door. "Rin-kun and I are going to have a little chat."

Shima, Izumo, Konekomaru and Shiemi filed out to the hall where they set up camp. Bon retreated to the corner of the room then crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Mephisto stubbornly. Mephisto rolled his eyes. He put a finger to his lips in a shushing gesture, Bon nodded and Mephisto dismissed the Myodhan boy from his mind.

The older demon sat on the edge of Rin's bed. "You came very close to killing yourself," he said quietly. "Yukio performed an emergency tracheotomy on you to keep you breathing."

Rin looked at Mephisto, "Konekomaru lied?"

"In other words, Yukio cut a hole in your throat because the burns in your mouth and nose were so severe they blocked your airway," Mephisto explained. "I spoke with Yukio before he left the country. Apparently he has been very worried about his ability to protect you."

Rin slowly uncurled.

Mephisto smiled tightly. "He came to the conclusion that the only way to keep you safe was to lock you away from a world that might hurt you. He treated your injuries, to the best of his ability, and tried to make you comfortable. He hid you away and put you on an IV solution that would have kept you unconscious indefinitely… Ignoring the infections from your burns that were killing you."

"Oh," Rin said softly.

"I cannot be certain of Yukio's initial intentions," Mephisto continued. "But I believe he felt that if you were kept weak enough you would be beneath the Grigori's notice." The older demon hesitated for a moment. "Yukio also held you responsible for Shiro's death, I'm afraid. It affected his judgement."

"That's okay," Rin said. "I blame me for Dad dying too."

"You didn't kill him," Mephisto said. "Satan did."

"We fought right before he died. That was why Satan could possess him," Rin explained. "You're sure the purification ritual doesn't work like Yukio said? Maybe me trying to kill myself made Yukio crazy."

Mephisto shook his head. "Little brother, I am more or less an expert on Satan's children; having been one for… an extraordinarily long time."

Rin's head jerked up and he stared at Mephisto. "You're a demon?"

"You didn't notice?" Mephisto asked lightly. "Yes, I am a demon. Since coming to Assiah I have been known by many names, but originally I was called Samael, the King of Time and the one of the oldest of Satan's children to survive the Fall. I have lived among humans since a time before recorded history. They react, often poorly, to displays of our power. But I have been called a god as often as a demon and when I choose to keep my powers hidden it is only the most observant who guess that I am anything other than human." Mephisto shrugged. "A tail is a bit hard to explain away once seen. It has been my experience that the only true difference between a demon and a benevolent spirit is in our actions."

"I made friends here, after I started doing what Yukio said," Rin argued.

"Perhaps your fellow Exwires are simply a better class of people," Mephisto suggested. "They overcame their prejudices and fears to judge you on your own merits. The ability to re-evaluate beliefs and change is a rare one among any species, it deserves recognition."

Rin gave Mephisto a tiny smile. "Yeah, they're great."

* * *

><p>The five Exwires were quiet as they stood in the hall outside Rin's hospital room a several days later, waiting for him to get dressed.<p>

"Put on your tie," Bon muttered to Shima.

While the pink-haired boy complied Mephisto arrived along with a nurse and a wheelchair. The headmaster waved a sheaf of discharge papers. "All ready to go," he announced.

The door opened and Rin stepped out wearing his school uniform. He looked pale and wane. "Let's go," he said never raising his eyes from the floor as he started walking toward the door.

"Sit," Bon ordered, gesturing to the wheelchair.

"I'm fine," Rin said taking another shaky step.

Bon rolled his eyes. He grabbed the wheelchair and pushed it behind Rin, giving the back of the other boy's knees a light nudge. Rin toppled backward into the chair. "You were saying?" Bon asked leaning over Rin's shoulder to glare disapprovingly.

"Whatever," Rin sighed.

Konekomaru stepped forward and held out a small urn. Rin's breath caught as he accepted it. "So it's okay?" he asked in a subdued voice.

"Yeah, the cemetery doesn't have a problem with it." Bon nodded toward Mephisto, "And he magicked the gravestone to add Kuro's name."

"Too cheap to pay for carving it," Shima whispered to Izumo who elbowed him.

Rin slumped back in the wheelchair hugging the urn protectively and didn't make any further protests as Bon pushed him toward the elevator.

Mephisto's car was waiting for them at the exit. It wasn't long before they arrived at the cemetery. Konekomaru offered to carry the urn the rest of the way to the grave.

"I can do it," Rin insisted. This time the others didn't force the issue although Mephisto kept a hand under Rin's elbow and Bon hovered at his other side.

Shiemi retrieved a bouquet of catnip and brightly colored wild flowers from the car.

The closer they got to the grave the more Rin's steps faltered.

"I believe Shiro would also appreciate the company," Mephisto said quietly. Rin nodded and continued on.

Nagatomo was waiting beside the unsealed gravestone. Rin swallowed back tears and crossed the last few feet. Bon steadied him as he knelt to place the urn beside the larger one containing Shiro's remains.

Nagatomo said a few prayers. "I'll stay until the stone's been resealed," he said.

* * *

><p>Mephisto's limo pulled up in front of the old Men's Dorm. "You can't be serious!" Bon exclaimed. He his his head. "Rin can stay with me. I chased off my normal roommate with in the first two weeks of school so I didn't have to explain my Cram School texts."<p>

Mephisto gave them a patented regretful look. "Rin-kun needs to go several hours a day with his powers unsealed to promote healing. If you thought your textbooks were difficult to explain how do you intend to explain a roommate who is covered in blue flames to the others in your dorm?"

"What? No!" Rin exclaimed shaking his head violently.

"I'm afraid I must insist," Mephisto said. "You're still very ill."

"If Rin can't move in with me then I'm moving in here," Bon stated. "He shouldn't have to go back to that place at all and there's no way I'd let him stay here alone."

Konekomaru and Shima agreed immediately.

"I'll stay with Rin now, you three go pack your stuff," Izumo decided. "But don't take any rooms on the third floor. Why should Paku and I share a cramped dorm room when the four of you are rattling around with a whole building to yourselves?"

"Me too!" Shiemi exclaimed. Then turned pleading eyes on Mephisto. "I'm not a regular student at the Academy, but I can stay too can't I?"

"Boys and girls sleeping under the same roof? Scandalous!" Mephisto laughed. Then he declared, "No girls tonight. We must be conscious of your reputations… and the school's. But I'll arrange a chaperone or dorm parent to stay here as well tomorrow."

"I can take care of the cooking," Rin volunteered, a warm feeling growing in his chest.

"We're all living here, we all help," Bon decided.

"Actually the old dorm is a ridiculous distance from the main campus," Izumo commented to Mephisto. "From what we saw the last time- when we stayed here during the Exwire Exam you're doing nothing to keep the place up. We're basically doing you a favor by moving in and slowing the building's fall into disrepair. You should stock the refrigerator for us in return."

"I suppose I could," Mephisto said smirking agreeably.

"Real food, not instant ramen or other junk," Rin qualified remembering Mephisto's personal tastes.

"I'll have your chaperon suggest a food budget," Mephisto decided. "But Rin-kun, your doctor said you should put on five pounds a month for the next four months. If you're not on track after the first month we'll re-evaluate how we're managing your diet."

"Agreed," Izumo said. She turned to Rin. "Let's get you moved to the new boy's floor."

"I can help," Shiemi insisted as she tumbled out of the car after Rin and Izumo.

While the other boys headed off to collect their stuff Izumo had Rin take her on a tour of the old dorm. She ducked into the kitchen then stared at the cafeteria contemplatively. "We hardly need a whole big room for just the six of us, seven if we decide to let Mephisto's 'chaperone' eat with us," she concluded. "We can eat at the kitchen table and clear out this room for a practice space. You and Shima will both need room to practice your weapons. Moriyama and I will be learning to summon a variety of demons soon, so we can use the space too."

Rin and Shiemi glanced at each other. "Sounds okay," Rin offered after a moment. "I like eating in the kitchen anyway. This room always felt sort of empty with just me and Yukio."

Izumo ignored the mention of Yukio. "Your old room's on the top floor right?" she recalled. "That's too many stairs. The second floor will be the new boy's floor." She didn't mention not wanting Rin to have reason to go back in the room where Kuro had died and where he'd attempted suicide. Likely the same room where he'd undergone months of torture at Yukio's direction.

"Pick a new room on the second floor," Izumo ordered. "Moriyama and I will help you move."

"You're sort of bossy," Rin observed.

"Your point?" Izumo asked dryly. "Get a move on it. We'll have to clean before you move your stuff in."

Shiemi giggled. "Cleaning won't take long. Nii-chan!" she called then whispered to her familiar and a few moments later a small army of baby greenmen were scurrying around the dorm scrubbing and dusting.

"Wow Shiemi," Rin said watching the wave of cleanliness sweep over the dorm.

Shiemi blushed. "Nii-chan and his friends like helping out. We just need to make sure they have a nice place set aside for sunning themselves in return. Um… actually, would you mind if we set aside some of the rooms on the south side of the building as a conservatory?"

"Yeah, no problem," Rin said. "I bet these guys'll keep the Coal Tars away." Then Rin's shoulders slumped. "Kuro used to hunt 'em like mice," he said sadly.

Shiemi wrung her hands together in distress.

"This room look good to you?" Izumo demanded poking her head in one of the rooms at the end of the hall. When Rin didn't object she nodded. "Okay, let's go pack your stuff and get you moved."

When they walked into the room Rin and Yukio had shared since arriving at the True Cross Academy Rin gulped. He sat down on his bed and stared that the empty half of the room where Yukio's stuff had already been removed.

Izumo strode determinedly into the room and started collecting Rin's books. After a moment Shiemi followed her lead and opened a dresser drawer. "Oh," Shiemi squeaked and turned red.

Rin glanced over and flushed as well. He jumped up and shut the draw. "I got that," he said quickly.

Shiemi retreated to Rin's desk and started gathering up pencils, she kept her head tilted so that her hair covered her bright red cheeks.

Izumo snickered. "Nice distraction tactic," she whispered. "Checking out his underwear."

Shiemi's face turned so red it was practically glowing. "I didn't- it wasn't on purpose!" she exclaimed.

Rin pulled the offending drawer complete out of the bureau and dumped it directly into his laundry bag then hid the bag in the bottom of his school trunk. His blush showed little sign of abating. Once that was taking care of that he dragged the trunk close to his bed and started transferring a number of manga from the dim recesses below the bed into the trunk.

"Please don't tell me that you're as bad as Shima," Izumo huffed. She snagged one of the books Rin had been trying to hide. He glared, Izumo put a hand over her mouth to stifle a snicker. "Your secret's safe with me," she assured him and returned the book to the trunk.

Still glaring Rin pointedly tucked a blanket over the embarrassing contents of his trunk and continued packing.

The three of them had almost finished moving Rin into his new room when the Myodhan boys returned with their belongings.

Shima claimed the room across the hall from Rin and Konekomaru took the room next door while Bon dumped his bag on the second bed in Rin's room. "We can use one of the other rooms for studying and this as a sleeping porch if we decide we need more room," he stated.

Rin was about to protested Bon's presumption when he thought about how empty the room would feel, not sharing it with either Yukio or Kuro and smiled at Bon instead. "I snore," he informed the other boy.

Bon shrugged. "I sleep like the dead. If we ever get a fire alarm it's your job to wake me up."

"I'm going," Izumo announced. "I've got tell Paku we're moving and get my own packing done. We'll see you tomorrow."

"See you," Rin called back with a small smile.


	13. Please Don't Help

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Thirteen: Please Don't Help **

The next day Izumo and Paku were greeted by the sound of shouting as they let themselves into the old dorm, hauling their trunks behind them.

"You have to!" Bon exclaimed as he tried to take the Koma Sword from Rin.

Rin hung on stubbornly as he glared at the larger boy. "Not gonna!"

"The hell you're not! The Exam's just a week away and you've got to get healthy as fast as possible!" Bon insisted.

Rin shrugged. "I'm just going to fail anyway."

"So you're going to give up now?" Bon's voice rose angrily. "They're going to kill you Rin."

"Yeah probably," Rin agreed.

"Mephisto's going to pull something," Shima pointed out. "It'd be bad if you're too hurt to play along."

Rin looked alarmed. "No! Every time the clown gets involved, you guys get hurt. I'm not letting him pull some stupid stunt and I'm not drawing the sword and that's final."

Izumo's eyebrows drew together in a scowl. She dropped her things and stomped over to Rin. "We don't want you to die," she stated, hands planted on her hips, rising up on her toes to go nose-to-nose with Rin. "It freaks us out when you're so sick. So you're going to draw that sword and you're going to heal. And when the morons from the Vatican show up you're going to do whatever you have to to convince them that they need you alive."

Rin wavered in the face of Izumo's determination.

"You still want to defeat Satan, right?" Bon asked regaining his cool.

"Yeah," Rin admitted. "I don't see how anymore, but-"

"Well the first step's getting better," Bon pointed out. "Then we pass the exam. And we keep going, keep getting stronger, then we kick Satan's ass. I don't give up my goals. If you give up and die the only thing that changes is I'll go after him without you."

Rin huffed a huge sigh of surrender. "I'm going up to the roof," he declared. "I don't want you guys in the same room with me if you're going to make me do this."

"Then give me the sword," Bon said holding out his hand. "I don't trust you not to just say you did it and not actually draw it."

Rin looked hurt. Izumo turned her glare on Bon. Bon crossed his arms over his chest and told Rin. "I'd trust you with _my _life. I just don't trust you with _your _life." He turned to Izumo. "He tried to wash up with holy water last night."

"It was habit," Rin muttered not looking at anyone. "Fine!" he exclaimed and handed the sword over.

"Two hours, then I'll sheathe it," Bon said.

Rin grimaced and started up the stairs. "See you when I'm not playing Hell-Lantern." Once he got to the roof he clammered up to perch on top of the roof door so as to further distance himself from the other Exwires.

'I'll have to be more careful about undoing the damage,' Rin thought to himself. He'd known Yukio's schedule inside and out. When he'd decided to add a morning purification it had been easy to sleep in ten minutes and ensure he'd have the bathroom to himself. But with the other Exwires it wasn't so simple. Apparently Shima also liked his snooze button. Rin really hadn't expected the laid back Aria-candidate to kick his washbasin over and raise enough of a ruckus that both Bon and Konekomaru were also actively watching him now. Even getting holy water was harder now. Nagatomo knew to watch the church christen and Mephisto had revoked Rin's approval to carry or requisition any holy water based weapons. It was annoying.

It was confusing too. The other boys had gotten so upset over it. Even given the length of time he'd been submerged in holy water during his suicide attempt it didn't seem possible that there could be any effect left now, not when everyone had been unsealing his powers every day while he'd been unconscious, without so much as a by your leave. Rin's teeth gritted in annoyance at that thought.

'Unless Yukio really had been lying about your aura,' a small voice whispered. 'But what about everyone hating me before I started doing what he told me to?' Rin hushed it.

The door to the roof creaked open. "Go away!" Rin shouted without waiting to see who it was.

"There's something I meant to tell you a long time ago, but I chickened out," Izumo said and shut the door behind her. "While you were in the hospital I decided if I got another chance I wouldn't waste it."

Rin backed away to the other side of the area above the door.

"You're not the only part-demon around. A lot of Exorcists have some demon blood. I meant to tell you that last summer after we all found out," Izumo said. "And I wanted to tell you that I'm one of them. I'm part demon too."

Rin dropped to the surface of the roof. Behind the blue flames that marked him as Satan's child his eyes were wide and full of concern. "Is that why you have trouble getting along with people?" he asked.

"No," Izumo said rolling her eyes. "That would be because I'm a bitch."

"I -um- you're not so bad," Rin protested.

Izumo gave him a small smile. "You and Paku are a little bit alike. Don't ask me why, but neither of you bring it out in me."

Rin thought for a few minutes. "My aura didn't affect Kuro either, because he's a demon. I guess you can stay if you want." He sat on the low wall at the edge of the roof.

"Your aura doesn't affect anyone because it doesn't exist, dummy," Izumo said. She sat down beside Rin. He scooted away to keep her clear of his flames. Izumo huffed in irritation and grabbed his arm. She scooted over until they were shoulder to shoulder. They sat together and watched the skyline while they waited for Rin's two hours to pass.

When Rin and Izumo can back downstairs Nagatomo and Shiemi were hauling their bags into the dorm. "You're our chaperone?" Rin asked Nagatomo in surprise. "Maybe the clown's not all bad."

"Glad you approve," Nagatomo laughed. "I believe Shima Tsuzo will also be joining us. She was having roommate issues and Mephisto wanted a female chaperone here as well."

"Sis is moving in?" Shima groaned. "This is terrible! How am I supposed to chase girls with my big sister looming in the background?" Then he walked over to Rin and threw an arm around his shoulders, "Feeling better now?" he asked.

Rin quickly squirmed free. "I was fine before." He quickly put some space between himself and the others in the room.

"You look better," Konekomaru decided. "Less drawn."

"I gotta talk to the clown," Rin declared suddenly and slipped out the door before anyone could say a thing.

* * *

><p>Mephisto stared at Rin disapprovingly. "You stink of holy water, little brother."<p>

Rin shrugged. He didn't want to fight about it, but his point was clear: He could find ways around the measures put in place to stop him from getting to holy water. Instead, Rin brought up his reason for seeking Mephisto out, "Look whatever you're planning for the Exorcist Exam, just don't."

"You have a plan of your own?" Mephisto asked his face completely neutral and disinterested.

"I heard Neuhaus and Amaimon were your fault," Rin said. "They both went after my friends, so no more help okay? I don't want it."

"You don't fight for yourself," Mephisto pointed out. "It doesn't leave many options."

"Will you promise to just leave everything alone?" Rin pressed.

"And what if I do? What will you do?" Mephisto asked.

"Have a nice week. Spend some time with my friends," Rin said carelessly. "Fail the test. Then... Well, not much point in having plans past that."

Mephisto sighed. "I rather thought that was your plan." He sat down at his desk and thought for a few moments. "If you swear to stay away from holy water and do your best on the Exam I will consider your request."

"Deal." As Rin said the word he felt an odd sensation chase down his spine, like keys turning in a lock.

* * *

><p>"Rin's been in the bathroom for a while," Shiemi fretted.<p>

Like the day before Izumo had kept Rin company on the roof while his powers had been unsealed to prompt rapid healing. When the two hours were up Rin immediately declared he was taking a bath.

The other three boys waited tensely for Rin to discover that they'd cleaned out the stash of holy water above the mirror. When nothing happened they were caught between relief that Rin hadn't tried to hurt himself and worry that he might have another stash they'd missed.

Fifteen minutes later they were still worrying. "If one of you won't walk in on him I will," Izumo said.

The boys glanced at each other, a quick round of janken later and Konekomaru had been nominated. He grabbed a toothbrush then opened the door and tried to act casual while he checked Rin for holy water burns. Rin gave him an irritated look. "It's just soap and water," he said.

Konekomaru noticed a red tinge to the water in the basin and gave up casual. He grabbed Rin's arm, straightening and rotating it to check for damage. He quickly found raw patches up and down Rin's arms.

Rin pulled his arm away and hunched his shoulders. "It's just soap and water," he reiterated. "No matter how much I scrub I don't feel clean."

"Rubbing the skin off won't help anything," Konekomaru said. He sighed and reached for Rin's arm again. "Let me-," he began then broke off. "Sorry, I forgot you don't like being touched. When you were in in the hospital we took over a lot of the nursing tasks. You heal faster with your powers unsealed and you don't burn us," he babbled in embarrassment.

Then Konekomaru noticed Rin's arm half extended to him and the look of shame growing on the other boy's face as he started to pull away again and the pieces clicked together. "He told you not to touch people," Konekomaru said feeling a wave of renewed hatred for Yukio.

Konekomaru took Rin's hand and made a more thorough survey of the damage. He carefully observed Rin's reactions as he gently ran his fingers over the whole skin bordering the raw patches. He watched the tension drained out of Rin's face and shoulders. Rin's eyes slid closed as Konekomaru smoothed antibacterial cream over the abraded skin then wrapped a light dressing around Rin's arm while making every effort to extend the contact.

After a moment's consideration Konekomaru moved to stand behind Rin and started massaging his shoulders. Rin melted into the touch. Several minutes later Konekomaru caught sight of Rin's face in the mirror, his expression was peaceful but his cheeks were wet with tears. "Rin, are you okay?" Konekomaru asked in alarm.

Rin flushed and swiped at the tears quickly. "Yeah, I- actually I feel better. Don't know why my eyes are getting all watery. How come you can rub away the corruption when I couldn't?"

Konekomaru grimaced. "You won't like my theory," he warned. "I don't think it was ever the holy water that made you feel purified. It was knowing Yukio would be willing to treat your wounds afterwards. Tell me if I'm wrong here, but he only let you feel worthy of care after you'd hurt yourself, didn't he."

Rin shook his head, "No, it wasn't like that," he protested, but he couldn't think of anything to point at to show Konekomaru he was wrong. "I'm too tired to think straight," he declared.

"You could test it," Konekomaru suggested. "The next time you feel like your aura is corrupted, before burning yourself with holy water or scrubbing yourself raw, tell me and I'll give you another massage. Let's see if it helps."

"You promise to tell me if my aura starts effecting you?" Rin asked.

"Yes," Konekomaru agreed. "If I ever find any proof that Yukio wasn't lying to you, I'll tell you."

* * *

><p>"We prepared several rooms for you on the fourth floor," Nagatomo said later that week as he escorted the two proctors sent by the Vatican to administer the Exorcist Exam into the OId Dorm.<p>

"You expect us to stay in this dump?" the woman asked giving the Old Dorm's run-down lobby a distasteful look.

"All of the first year Exwires are staying here," Nagatomo pointed out with a small hint of censure.

"Because they chose to maintain a close association with the Son of Satan," the man sniffed.

"Yes, they're loyal to their classmate," Nagatomo's voice turned frosty. "A child I helped to raise, who is as dedicated to the True Cross as anyone, even in the face of attitudes like yours. You want Rin to be your weapon against Satan? You could try showing a little respect in return for his willingness to fight for you."

"I'm certain the Satan-child has his own agenda."

Nagatomo shook his head in disgust. "Why don't you try meeting Rin before you make up your mind about him?"

Nagatomo's cell phone rang, he glanced at the number and frowned worriedly. "Excuse me, I need to take this," he said distancing himself from the two proctors. He listened for a moment then his fist clenched. "The monastery was attacked?" he exclaimed.

* * *

><p>Rin edged closer to Nagatomo as they made their way through the crowds of Exorcists investigating the attack on the monastery.<p>

"Where are they?" Nagatomo asked catching a passing mid-level Exorcist by the sleeve.

"The victims? They're still in the dining hall," the Exorcist replied. "Couldn't move them with all the webbing, so the Doctors are doing what they can onsite. There haven't been any fatalities yet, but nothing works on this stuff," he gestured to a strand of webbing hanging from the remains of the front gate.

"Thank you," Nagatomo said. He and Rin made their way to the dining hall. The spider-webs were much thicker there, turning Rin's childhood home into a scene from a house of horrors. When they saw the first of the cocoons, a True Cross Doctor hovering futilely over it, Rin made a pained sound and started backing away.

"Rin?" Nagatomo asked with concern.

"It's my fault, it's my fault," Rin muttered to himself, his gaze darting around like a trapped animal. His back hit the wall and he shrunk in on himself in a defensive cower.

"This is not your fault, Rin," Nagatomo asserted. "We'll find a way to help them. It will be okay."

"You should have let me die!" Rin screamed, his flames burst into life as his emotions went wild.

The various exorcists quickly withdrew to the edges of the room. They watched Rin with weapons raised. "Don't!" Nagatomo exclaimed. He pointed as the webs, which had resisted everything an experienced team of Exorcists could throw at them, melted away when they came in contact with Rin's flames. "Rin, look!" he exclaimed. "_You_ can help them."

Rin didn't respond.

Nagatomo took a deep breath then reached through Rin's flames. After Shiemi had carelessly touched Rin's arm while he'd been hospitalized and had felt nothing but a gentle warmth from the flames Mephisto had postulated that the flames wrapped around Rin's body were defensive and wouldn't harm a person he felt no need to protect himself against. The Exwires and one incautious Doctor were the only ones who'd tested their immunity while Rin had been unconscious. Nagatomo didn't feel particularly worthy of Rin's trust after how he'd failed to see what Yukio had been doing, but his hand passed through the flames without harm.

Nagatomo grasped Rin's shoulders and gave him a light shake. "Rin, listen to me! Look! You can save them, your flames can save them." Rin took a shuddering breath. "Look," Nagatomo repeated pressing Rin's hand to a swath of webbing.

"I won't hurt them?" Rin asked, his flames fading along with his panic.

Nagatomo shook his head. "They're yours, they've never hurt anyone you care about. You can do this Rin."

Rin nodded. He drew the Koma Sword, choosing to unlock his powers for their first time since fighting Amaimon, and reached for the closest cocoon. The webbing melted away, freeing Father Kyodo. Rin's shoulders relaxed and he moved on to the next.

The Exorcists remained wary even as Rin freed the trapped priests. By the time Rin finished freeing the Maruta, the last of the priests, Father Kyodo was sitting up wozzily. One of the Exorcists gathered his nerve and went to kneel in front of the older priest. "What happened? Who attacked you?"

Kyodo groaned. "Masked man, said he'd kill everyone associated with Satan's Son."

Nagatomo cringed. He turned, hoping and praying that Rin hadn't heard, to no avail. He caught a glimpse of Rin's chalk-white face and frantic eyes and then the boy was gone.

Nagatomo shouted as he ran after Rin. "Call the Academy! The Exwires are the Masked Man's next target!"

* * *

><p>"Renzo, be a gentleman and help Shiemi-chan lug all that dirt of hers upstairs," Tsuzo instructed barely looking up from the text she was reading. "All you're doing is reading porn anyway."<p>

"Why don't you help?" Shima whined.

"Girls won't like you if you're a lazy bum," Tzuso informed him as she glanced up over the rim of her glasses.

"Thank you for helping," Shiemi said sweetly, taking Shima's agreement for granted.

Shima groaned and gave in. "How can girls be so appealing and yet so evil?" he muttered then glared at his sister. "Excluding older sisters, they're just unmitigated evil with no redeeming features what-so-ever."

"Don't forget, it's your night to do dishes," Tsuzo replied cheerfully.

Still grumbling, Shima grabbed two of the many pails of soil Shiemi had lined up at the dorm's back door and started up the stairs. Shiemi stumbled after him using both hands to carry her pail.

"Just like home," Konekomaru said glancing up from the bible passage he was memorizing.

A small grin tugged at Bon's mouth. "The perils of not studying, Shima should have remembered."

"About dinner," Izumo said setting her pencil aside. "I say the proctors have to find their own."

"Rin-kun's cooking might get them thinking about him as more than just a demon," Paku suggested.

"Damn! I need to start the rice!" Bon exclaimed slamming his book shut.

"I think I'll watch," Konekomaru said. "I want to see if Rin's managed to teach him to boil water yet."

"It wasn't that funny," Bon grumbled. "I was studying, I forgot I had the pot on, it could have happened to anyone."

"Rin and Father Nagatomo should have been home by now," Paku worried. "Does anyone know where they were going?"

Izumo started reaching for her cell phone when a masked and heavily robed figure burst through the windows. "The Satan-child will suffer!"

"Uke! Mike!" Izumo shouted. A strand of webbing wrapped itself around her upper body, gagging her and binding her arms to her sides before she could give her familiars their orders.

A passing shot bound Konekomaru to the wall before the boy had a chance to react to the threat.

Tsuzo stepped forward, whipping out a staff. She deflected the first burst of webbing to come her way and tried to close with the masked man but the demon leapt back on to one of the tables.

Bon grabbed a lamp and swung it at their attackers legs. He was casually kicked across the room but while the masked man was distracted Tsuzo summoned her familiar and set it to work trying to burn away the webbing.

Paku tried to run and was quickly captured while Izumo glared at her familiars trying to convey with her eyes alone that they knew damn well what to do in this situation. The Byakko stared back at her, tongues hanging out in a canine laugh.

Tsuzo's salamander was ineffective against the webbing, despite it's flames and soon it was bound as well. Bon fell next when the demon's webbing entangled him with the lamp he'd been using as a weapon. Tsuzo managed to defend herself for a few minutes longer but eventually her staff was ripped from her hands and she was captured as well.

The noise of the battle drew the two Proctors downstairs but they fared no better than the Exwires and their chaperone.

Hidden in the stairwell Shima and Shiemi peered out through the small window in the door. "What do we do?" Shiemi whispered.

Shima shook his head. "First off don't get caught? Beyond that you got me."

The masked figure picked up Izumo's cell and called up Rin's number. "Izumo?" Rin's voice asked worriedly.

The masked figure held the phone to Bon's mouth. Bon glared back silently. The demon rewarded his stubbornness with a swift kick to the ribs that wrung a grunt of pain from him.

"Bon? What's going on?" Rin cried.

"Come, Son of Satan," the masked man challenged. "Come and know the pain of loss as I slaughter your friends before your eyes."

"We have to do something!" Shiemi hissed.

"We'll be stronger if we wait for Rin," Shima argued quietly. "Okay, okay, when Rin gets here... I'll help him keep the guy in the mask busy. While he's focused on us you do what you did in the Exwire Exam and capture him."

Shiemi nodded determinedly.

A short while later Rin burst in, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his flames a raging inferno. "Why?" he demanded as he threw himself at the masked man. "Why do you always do this?"

The other demon's webbing burned away as soon as it got within two feet of Rin.

"How are you anything but evil? Attacking people who never did anything to you?" Rin demanded.

"They befriended you, Son of Satan!"

Rin reeled back as if he'd been struck but before the masked man could go on the offensive Shima was there. "And what did Rin ever do to you?" he exclaimed as he launched himself into the battle.

"Satan destroyed my family! Destroyed my life!" The mask man exclaimed knocking Shima back. "He has to pay for what he's done!"

"Get in line!" Rin snarled intercepting a blow meant for Shima.

"Good boy," Mephisto whispered from the shadows where he'd been observing the fight.

"He killed the only parent I ever knew!" Rin continued beating the masked man back. "Because of his blood, my brother… my brother… You want Satan to pay? Well the line starts behind me! And don't even think about hurtin' my friends!"

A hesitancy entered the masked man's movements as Rin's words reached him. He drew back from the battle. A mass of woody vines erupted from the stairwell and ensnared him. Shiemi stepped forward with a determined expression. She looked at Rin. "That's right, nobody gets to hurt our friends. And you're my friend."

"I, Shiemi-" Rin stammered uncertainly then turned away to free the others. Nagatomo arrived and he and Tsuzo took the masked man into custody.

Rin's flames burned away the webbing gagging the first of the Vatican Proctors. "Get away from me, foul demon!" the woman spat.

Rin drew back, his flames flaring defensively.

"Why don't you shut up," Bon suggested harshly. "Then Rin can get you out of this mess; I'm pretty sure it's easier for him to want to help you if you keep your ungrateful mouth closed."

"You should leave them," Izumo said, pausing in the tirade she'd unleashed on her familiars. "They don't want your help? Let them stay spider-food."

"Can't," Rin sighed as he went back to work. "My flame's the only thing the Order's found that gets rid of this crap."

"Their problem, not yours," Izumo shrugged.

Mephisto made his presence known as Rin finished freeing the second Proctor. "Very well done," he applauded.

Rin spun around and glared at Mephisto, his flames burning high. "You promised!" he accused.

"I promised to _consider_ not interfering," Mephisto corrected. "A demon's word is his bond, and I did _consider _it very carefully… then I decided I would be interfering. Your plan was, frankly, terrible."

Rin's flames engulfed the room. The two Proctors fled.

"Interesting, I wouldn't have assumed I was on your safe list," Mephisto remarked watching the flames dance harmlessly around him. "Or is it just that you are so afraid to hurt anyone that your conscious defenses are compromised?" He sighed and went back to the subject at hand. "To be perfectly honest, this particular chain of events was not my idea. Unfortunately, not _everything _that happens is according to my plans."

"Why don't I buy that?" Rin snarled and several chairs burst into flames.

"You might want to quit that," Mephisto suggested. "You're running on adrenaline and you are going to collapse, sooner rather than later. I'd arranged something a bit more tame. I'll call it off now, no need for overkill." he assured Rin. "I'm being rather delicate with you. The last thing I wish is to break you. This was more intense than I would have chosen to subject you to at this time, still I must say it turned out rather well."

"He attacked my friends! They always go after the people I care about!" Rin screamed and the lights exploded. "Just one week without me putting my friends in danger. That's all I asked! Why couldn't you just stay out of it?"

"Stay out of it?" Bon exclaimed. "The Vatican was going to kill you if you failed the test and you aren't prepared at all. Do you want to die?" His eyes met Rin's and Bon deflated as he remembered what Rin had done. "Stupid question, damn." he muttered looking lost.

"Because of your intervention in this situation… Which was in no way my doing… no one was hurt," Mephisto pointed out. "And for a moment you saw it didn't you? The confusion faded away and you saw: You are _not _a rightful target for those who have a grievance against Satan. You are as much a victim of his machinations as any of them, just as entitled to retribution. You do not owe it to them to absorb their pain and anger."

"We can't stand by while someone tries to hurt you," Konekomaru said putting a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Anymore than you could stand by and watch us be hurt."

"And cut out this crap about not being worth protecting," Shima added with a weak attempt at a teasing smile. "We think you are and you can't change our minds, so just give in and accept that you're stuck with us."

"If the Vatican tries to execute you they're going to have to go through us," Izumo stated, tilting her chin up determinedly. "So if you want to keep us safe, you have to let Mephisto fix the stupid exam."

"You're our friend," Shiemi added and hugged Rin.

Rin's flames died down as the other Exwires spoke leaving the dorm's lounge a smoldering ruin. He stared at the floor, torn between wanting to give in to his friends' determined concern and the fear that they might be hurt because of him.

"Look," Bon said. "When I see you hurting, I want hit someone. And I don't know how to deal with it knowing that you're hurting yourself. So will you cut it out with the holy water and not fighting the execution? Please?"

Mephisto stepped forward spreading his hands helplessly. "Holy water won't be much of an issue any longer," he said as he turned to Rin. "You do remember the terms of our deal: I would _consider _not interfering in the Exorcist Exam, in return you would do your best on the Exam and stay away from holy water. As I said, a demon is bound by their oath… and you would be dead a dozen times over if you were human. I thought it was highly likely that your demon blood had been fully awakened by recent occurrences, so I provided a minor, harmless test. When you spoke the words, you may not have known what you felt..."

Rin remembered the feeling of keys turning in a lock as he'd agreed to Mephisto's deal and realised that it no longer mattered whether he believed Mephisto or Yukio about his aura. He didn't have the choice of purifying himself any more. The Exwires and Mephisto watched in stunned amazement as Rin's powers ran wild one final time, washing harmlessly over them but blowing out all the doors and windows on the first floor of the dorm. A moment later the strain proved too much and Rin collapsed.

"If that's you being delicate…" Konekomaru observed dryly.

Mephisto shrugged. "Some lessons are too important for delicacy. Rin-kun is disturbingly trusting and straightforward for a demon," Mephisto shuddered at the thought. "There is a reason demons are not normally like Rin. He had to be taught what a liability ingenuous promises are, and taught quickly."

Bon picked Rin up. "I'm taking him back to the hospital, make sure there's nothing more wrong than him fainting from over-exertion."

As they left the dorm they saw Tsuzo and Nagatomo restraining Igor Neuhaus. "He helped the masked man… actually woman, escape," Tsuzo reported.


	14. Won't Turn Away

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Fourteen: Won't Turn Away**

Rin blinked at the ceiling surprised to be waking up in a hospital room again. He was pretty sure he hadn't been hurt that badly. If he was remembering right he'd barely been hurt at all. Yukio would have just put him to bed, he certainly wouldn't have taken him to a hospital. In fact, Rin realized, Yukio had never once taken him to a hospital despite the number of times he'd been injured since joining the True Cross Academy. 'Well, that's because Yukio's a doctor himself,' Rin decided, but a small voice in the back of his head pointed out 'He didn't want anyone else to get a good look at your injuries.'

Then Rin remembered Mephisto telling him how he'd been tricked into preventing himself from using his purification ritual and he remembered losing his temper and his powers going mad. Rin gulped, 'Did I hurt anyone?' He sat up a little and saw Izumo and Paku wrapped in a blanket, leaning up against each other and the wall, fast asleep. Shiemi was curled up in the visitor chair, her head tilted back at an angle guaranteed to put a crook in her neck. Shima was sprawled across the floor, snoring softly and Konekomaru was using the pink-haired boy's back as a pillow. Bon was slumped against the door jam, a trail of drool at the corner of his mouth. The other Exwires had a few bruises and bandages showing but Rin was relieved to see that he was the only one in a hospital gown.

After seeing his friends safe and well, Rin's thoughts turned back to the deal he'd made with Mephisto. 'Maybe the clown was lying,' Rin thought. 'I don't like breaking my promises, but I can't remember how many times I promised Dad I wouldn't get into fights any more. It never actually stopped me.'

Carefully Rin swung his feet off the bed then stood up and started toward the door. "Where ya goin'?" Bon muttered sleepily as Rin stepped over him.

"Bathroom," Rin whispered and Bon went back to sleep.

After getting lost several times Rin finally found a small chapel tucked in the corner of the hospital. Even walking up to the font by the entrance was a struggle and when Rin was standing beside it he discovered that he simply could not make himself put his hand in the holy water.

He shivered, then slowly backed away. 'It's going to get worse and worse. They'll hate me. I have to. Can't.' Circular, panicky thoughts raced around Rin's mind, leaving him feeling increasingly claustrophobic. As his panic grew worse, flickers of flame began to push past the seal on his powers. Without consciously thinking about it Rin started scratching at the flames on his arms, digging his increasingly sharp claws into his own flesh.

A passing orderly stumbled across Rin. The man screamed upon seeing Rin's bloody hands and the blue flames surrounding him. He fled, shouting for security. Rin paid no attention as several Exorcists surrounded him warily, but the commotion drew attention from the surrounding rooms, including the one Rin had snuck out of.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Bon demanded as he shoved through the gathering crowd, the rest of the Exwires right behind him. "You're treating him like a threat? The only person hurt here is the one you're pointing weapons at!"

While Bon, Izumo and Shima planted themselves between Rin and the Exorcists, Konekomaru and Shiemi dropped to their knees beside Rin. "You need to stop this, you're hurting yourself," Konekomaru said clasping his hands over one of Rin's. Shiemi grasped his other hand and tried to work her fingers beneath his to protect his torn arm from his claws. Between Shiemi and Konekomaru they managed to calm Rin down enough for his flames to fade which helped put the ranked Exorcists at ease. As things cooled off, it became apparent to everyone that the blood on Rin's hands was the result of wounds he'd inflicted on himself and a shamefaced Doctor quietly approached the group holding out bandages as an olive branch.

* * *

><p>After Rin's arms had been bandaged he was released from the hospital and the Exwires trailed dejectedly back to the old dorm. Once there Rin took one look at the damage to the first floor and started rubbing at his bandaged arms in agitation.<p>

Konekomaru grabbed Rin's wrist, "Please stop that," he said.

Scowling Bon stomped up stairs. After a few minutes the others heard him pacing heavily, his steps punctuated by irregular bangs, which probably indicated something being kicked.

"It's not that bad," Shiemi said. She summoned her Greenmen and set them to cleaning up the shattered glass and scrubbing at the scorched walls, ceiling and floor. One of the Greenmen tugged at the hem of her kimono, when Shiemi acknowledged him he pointed to a charred hull of an armchair. Shiemi shrugged helplessly.

Rin cringed then he trudged up the stairs, his tail dragging behind him.

"Good going," Izumo hissed at Shiemi, earning a reproving look from Paku.

"Let's just toss all the burned stuff out," Shima suggested. "We can drag other furniture down from the floor lounges to replace it."

Konekomaru stared after Rin. "I don't want to crowd him but maybe we shouldn't leave him alone."

"I got it," Izumo said. "If he's being stupid about his aura again he'll be more okay with me than the rest of you."

"Yeah, how'd you convince him to let you hang out while he's flame-on?" Shima asked.

"It won't work for you," Izumo replied shortly. Then, after a moment, she added. "Rin still believes what Yukio told him about his aura making people hate him. He just thinks I'm immune because I have demon-blood myself." Izumo didn't look at anyone after saying it, hardly even seemed to breath.

"That's cool," Shima replied. "The Myodha Sect's Hojo family has quite a bit of Naga-blood, it makes them good Tamers."

Izumo relaxed minutely. "I know. I'm descended from Inari, that's why the Byakko answer my summons," she said then hurried after Rin.

Knowing her quarry, Izumo didn't bother checking the dorm's upper floors, she headed straight for the roof. When she opened the door the first thing she saw was Rin holding Kurikara raised over his thigh as if he meant to snap the blade. "No!" Izumo shouted, her eyes widening in sudden panic. She darted across the roof and snatched the sword out of the startled boy's hands.

Clutching the sword protectively Izumo turned to confront Rin. "You can't! If the sword breaks-" she broke off with a sob. "I- I trust you! I don't trust anyone! You can't go away!"

"Izumo?" Rin asked, shocked by the break in her normal icy demeanor.

"When we figured out that Yukio was abusing you, I told them not to tell. I was afraid you'd hate us," Izumo whispered in a rush of words. "And then- and then- we thought you killed yourself. What if Mephisto could have stopped you? Then Surugo was right and it was my fault."

Rin's eyes filled with horror. "No," he protested taking several tentative steps toward Izumo.

Izumo hugged the Koma Sword to her chest. "When I went to search the dorm I wasn't sure," she continued. "I wasn't sure at all. I just couldn't stand it." Tears started welling up in her eyes. "I couldn't stand you being dead. I don't let anyone get close, but you did. You can't go away."

Cautiously Rin wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he said. "That's how I felt when Dad died. I didn't- I don't want you to feel like that."

"Then don't die!" Izumo sniffled leaning into his shoulder.

"It's not your fault if I do," Rin said. He shook his head. "I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me."

"Your dad?" Izumo asked in a small voice, not moving away from Rin.

"Satan possessed him. He killed himself to protect me," Rin said. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Izumo's hair.

"So it is the same," Izumo said. "If you kill yourself; or let the Vatican kill you; to protect us, it'll feel the same as you felt."

* * *

><p>Inside the dorm Bon stomped back down the stairs looking angry and determined. Without speaking to anyone he left slamming the door behind him. Shima and Konekomaru traded a look and hurried after him.<p>

Shiemi stared after the boys for a long moment then went back to tugging a burned table toward the back door. "Let me help," Paku said taking the other end of the table.

Shiemi gave her a forced smile.

"Ryuji-kun probably doesn't know how scary he looks when he's mad," Paku told Shiemi.

Shiemi nodded without really looking at the other girl. "I'm not scared," she said softly. "He's not nearly so volatile anymore."

"Now that we know Rin's not actually dead," Paku said. She looked troubled. "He was really mean to Izumo-" she shook her head and grimaced. "Not that Izumo's particularly nice to you."

"Oh no, we're friends," Shiemi protested immediately. "I understand if she gets frustrated sometimes. None of us like feeling helpless."

"You're right about that," Paku sighed. "It's just… Why can't we learn? When we're hurt or afraid the first thing we do is lash out at someone else. We look at what Yukio did to Rin and we can all see how terrible it was but then Ryuji-kun turns around and does the same thing to Izumo and Izumo does it to you. Maybe it's not so calculated or systematic but we do it."

"I guess we just have to keep trying harder to be kind," Shiemi said. She smiled at Paku. "You're a good example Noriko-chan."

"I'm really not," Paku said with a sad smile. "Too often I'm not brave enough to speak up when maybe I could make things better."

* * *

><p>Bon stormed into Mephisto's office without so much as an 'excuse me', Konekomaru and Shima trailing apologetically after him. "I am sick of Rin believing Yukio's crap about his aura! I'm sick of Rin hurting himself!"<p>

Behind his desk Mephisto leaned forward and steepled his fingers. "I am not enamored of it myself. Do you have a proposal?"

"Lock us in a room together until he's got no choice but to stop believing that crap," Bon declared.

Behind his hands, Mephisto smirked. "Blunt, completely lacking in finesse, however the idea has certain merit."

Konekomaru looked at Bon doubtfully. "Perhaps it should be someone less irritable. It won't work if you lose your temper at him… You're already angry and you haven't even started."

"Of course I'm mad!" Bon exclaimed. "How else am I supposed to feel watching him rip his arms to shreds because he can't burn himself! It makes me furious seeing my friends hurt!"

"Yeah, but is Rin going to get the distinction?" Shima asked, he grinned at his own idea. "Maybe someone understanding and sweet, like Shiemi."

"No," Mephisto stated and shook his head. "Completely inappropriate."

"I could," Konekomaru said. "Or Shima."

"Me," Bon stated as if that ended all debate.

"How about a compromise?" Mephisto asked with a wide grin. "I'll lock all four of you up in one of the cells beneath the Academy."

Konekomaru looked at Bon dubiously. "This could take a while. I'm getting my homework."

Bon gave a dissatisfied sigh but nodded. "Not a bad idea."

"Wait a minute!" Shima exclaimed. "You're going to lock me up with homework? Rin fine, no problem, but HOMEWORK!?"

Mephisto gave a bark of laughter. "This should be entertaining." He inserted a key in the closet door at the back of his office and opened a door directly to a cell.

Bon and Konekomaru tossed Shima in. "Let's go get Rin and our homework," Konekomaru said.

Mephisto handed them the key he'd used. "I shall be waiting." He escorted the two Exwires out of his office then headed down to the cells.

Shima was sitting on one of the bunks in a large cell, sulking. "This is cruel and unusual, locking me up with those two and homework and no entertainment."

"I could make things a bit more comfortable. Drei! Zwei! Eins!" Mephisto pointed his umbrella at the cell and suddenly it was redecorated as a in the style of the dorm rooms with a set of bunk beds on either wall and a table with four chairs in the middle of the room. There was a small refrigerator in the corner with a microwave hung above it and an electric kettle sitting on the small counter next to it. A doorway opened on one wall to access a small, utilitarian restroom and shower. The back wall of the cell, furthest from the wall of iron bars, morphed into a dresser and several shelves, the top shelf was stocked with an eclectic selection of manga.

"The books are mine, I expect them returned in the same condition," Mephisto told Shima sternly. "The contents of that shelf will rotate every hour. Don't put something back until you're done reading it or you probably won't see it again. I doubt even Rin-kun is stubborn enough to last through my entire manga collection."

Just then the portal opened again. Konekomaru walked in with a stack of textbooks, then returned for a second stack. The portal closed behind him, he glanced around, nodded approvingly, then started organizing the books on one of the empty shelves.

Shima scowled at the homework.

Several minutes later the portal reappeared and Bon walked in with Rin tossed over his shoulder. "Put me down now! Or I will make you!" Rin protested. "Even if you do drop me on my head in the process!" Bon dumped Rin on one of the beds, then closed the portal and tossed the key to Mephisto. "What is going on? Why is this lunatic kidnapping me?" Rin demanded.

Mephisto smiled. "Your friends have decided to perform a little experiment," he told Rin. "You will stay in this cell, in each other's company, until your aura drives them to request that I release them from your presence... or until you are convinced that you do not have an evil aura." The demon's grin widened. "There are snacks in that corner. I will have the girls bring you your meals and, if you're still here in 24 hours, fresh clothing. Now have fun!"

"You can't do this!" Rin exclaimed.

Mephisto walked away twirling the key around the end of his finger.

"I've got an assignment due in English," Konekomaru said pulling up a chair at the table, he gave Shima a long look. "So do you."

Shima grabbed a manga off the shelf and lay back on one of the beds and pretended he couldn't hear.

"I'm working on Exodus," Bon said. He glanced at Rin. "A number of water demons have fatal verses from that book, you should study it. Water demons will have some degree of immunity to your flames."

Rin climbed on the top bunk of the bed Shima wasn't using and curled up in the corner with his back to the room.

Several hours passed quietly. Tsuzo showed up with four trays for dinner, a portable DVD player and a stack of movies. "I take everything back," Shima declared. "Sisters aren't half bad."

"Rin, stop sulking and eat dinner," Bon ordered as he put the trays on the cleared table. When Rin didn't respond Bon added. "Doctor's orders, remember? If you were halfway healthy I wouldn't have been able to drag you in here."

In Rin's opinion it was only because he'd been distracted thinking about what Izumo had said on the roof that Bon had been able to ambush him. She still hadn't given back his sword. The realization that his friends would be hurt and hurt badly by his death worried at Rin. It was a strange, almost alien concept after being told for months and months that he was a source of misery to everyone around him.

Rin rolled off the bed and dropped to the floor. He grabbed a tray and ate quickly, fighting the urge to let be drawn into the conversation. First Rin reminded himself that he didn't cooperate with kidnappers then he reminded himself that they were all going to start hating him soon, but it just didn't quite add up with the easy atmosphere around the table. After dinner Rin went back to sulking but his heart wasn't in it. With a full stomach and the lull of quiet conversation in the background Rin fell asleep within a few minutes of restarting his sulk.

_Rin was so excited, Daddy was taking him and Yuki to the night market. They were going to have so much fun and eat unhealthy, yummy food 'til they burst. It was going to be great. He hung on to his daddy's hand with both of his and swung his feet off the ground for a moment then grinned and peered around to his Daddy's other side to see if Yuki had been impressed. _

_But Yuki wasn't there and suddenly Rin could hear his brother crying in the distance. "Daddy! Yuki's lost!" Rin exclaimed tugging his daddy in the direction of Yuki's cries._

"_I'm not your father," Shiro declared and suddenly he was burning with blue flames. He pulled away from Rin and Kurikara was unsheated in his hand, the blade pointed at his own chest._

"_I'm sorry daddy! I didn't mean it!" Rin cried. "Don't die!" But Shiro plunged the blade into his chest and disappeared._

_Rin wanted to sit down on the ground and cry and scream until his throat was raw and the pain in his body matched the pain in his heart but Yukio was still crying and he had to find his younger brother._

_The people in the crowd seemed larger with his father gone. When Rin looked up at them for help they were all faceless mannequins, bumping and shoving, keeping him from Yukio. Rin squirmed and fought his way through the crowd until finally he saw Yukio, curled up in an alley crying, his back to the street. Rin reached out his brother but the moment he touched Yukio his hand caught flame and his twin shouted with pain and anger. And when Yukio turned around he wasn't Yukio anymore but a demon with pointed ears, sharp fangs and long, long claws. _

_The demon that looked like Yukio leapt on Rin and pinned him to the ground then started digging his claws deep into Rin's chest. It pulled his ribs apart to tear at his heart. _

Rin woke up choking on sobs, curled up in a ball half in Bon's lap. The larger boy's hand rubbed comforting circles on Rin's back while he promised that things would be okay and that he wasn't alone. Rin felt the tips of his ears heating up with embarrassment, but at the same time he couldn't stop the harsh sobs that shook his whole body. So he buried his face against Bon's chest, his fingers twisting in the other boy's shirt and pretended he was still trapped in his nightmare and unaware of what he was doing.

Bon glared at the other two boys in cell until Rin's sobs tapered off and his breathing gradually even out into sleep.

"You knew he had nightmares," Konekomaru said softly when Bon shifted Rin off him and pulled a blanket over his shoulders. "That's why you were opposed to Shima and I being here."

Bon grimaced. "Yeah, he has 'em most nights. I study a while after he goes to sleep, if I catch 'em early sometimes they're not so bad." He shrugged helpless, because as this latest nightmare showed, sometimes they were bad and there was little Bon could do about it. "If he wakes up he doesn't admit to it and I don't bring 'em up in the morning. Same goes for you guys, no need to embarrass him."

The next morning Rin was almost done with breakfast before he woke up enough to remember that he didn't cooperate with kidnappers. He grabbed a manga and retreated back to his bunk. Throughout the day the other boys maintained a steady stream of inconsequential conversation about schoolwork, gossip, movies and manga. Every now and then they'd direct a comment to Rin and occasionally he'd forget himself and answer.

Later that afternoon Shima started an action flick marathon. The sounds of special effect explosions were much harder for Rin to ignore than Konekomaru and Bon's attempts to interest him in homework. By the third movie Rin and Shima were squeezed on one bunk, eyes glued to the screen as many, many things blew up for reasons only marginally covered by the plot of the movies. After dinner Bon and Konekomaru gave up on their studies for the evening. They set the portable DVD player on the table while all four boys crowded on to one of the beds, laughing and joking about how utterly terrible the movies were.


	15. Defiance

**To Be Good**

**Disclaimer:** Characters and premise are the property of Kazue Kato. I'm just borrowing them for a little non-profit angst.

**Chapter Fifteen: Defiance**

"You requested my presence?" Mephisto announced stepping out the shadows to appear in Neuhaus' cell.

The former professor jumped. He glared at Mephisto for a moment then said gruffly. "You didn't believe me back when I said I wasn't responsible for the Okumura kid's burns. You didn't believe me... but Okumura Yukio did." He sighed, "I know I've got no credibility with you, you've got no reason to believe I'm not a threat to that kid, but look at them. There is something deeply wrong between the Okumura twins."

Mephisto circled Neuhaus, studying him as if he were a creature at a zoo. "The human conscious is a fascinating thing," he announced. "It's work can be as slow and methodical as water dripping on limestone, but it's just as inexorable. In the end you are forced to act upon your conscious. Unfortunately, the pace of human life is anything but slow. When you finally answer your conscious all too often you find only regrets for what you might have done."

"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Mephisto demanded, his tone becoming sharply accusing. "All that and more came out in the aftermath of Rin's suicide attempt. Naturally it might have been nice to know last spring, before Rin's familiar was murdered and he attempted to drown himself in holy water. Now do you have anything else on your conscious? For example the aid you offered to Rin's latest attacker? Or will you wait once again? Is your conscious satisfied by divulging obsolete intelligence?"

Neuhaus stared at the floor, "It's my wife," he said softly. "It's Michelle."

* * *

><p>Shiemi crept down the stairs at the dorm starting at every creak and groan produced by the old building. Without the boys the dorm seemed empty and, Shiemi hated to admit it, a little creepy. She all but snuck into the kitchen for toast and eggs. Then, with a small sigh, Shiemi used her keys to go from the dorm to her family Exorcist Supply Store. "Mama, I'm going to check the gardens," she called poking her head in the door.<p>

Mrs. Moriyama came out of the store room and followed Shiemi to the garden shed. "How are things with your Exorcist Class?" she asked.

Shiemi bit her lip and looked away. She and her mother had argued about Shiemi moving into the dorm and her mother had never quite believed her about what Yukio had done to Rin. Her mother had said she'd be more comfortable with the idea Okumura-sensei hadn't been removed from the staff and Shiemi had shouted that she wouldn't even attend classes if Yukio were still teaching. Then she'd moved out anyway. "Everything's great," Shiemi said without looking up."

"I can see as much," her mother replied doubtfully.

Shiemi raised her chin stubbornly. "We're worried about Rin-kun," she said. "What Yukio did to him is still hurting him, even though Yukio's gone."

"That again," her mother huffed. "I'm certain he must have misinterpreted what he brother meant. It's obvious that there's something not right about that boy."

Shiemi scowled. "I suppose it's Rin's fault Yukio told us all he was dead too," she said sarcastically.

"Don't take that tone with me young lady."

Shiemi turned her back on her mother and stomped away from the shed, her shoulders tense. She sighed in relief when her mother turned and headed back toward the shop.

A few minutes later Shiemi stumbled to a shocked stop when she turned a corner and saw a blonde woman sprawled across the path. "Oh!" Shiemi squeaked. She rushed over to the woman. "Are- are you hurt?" she asked.

The woman's gaze drifted toward Shiemi. "Such a beautiful place," she murmured. "I could die happily here."

Shiemi's face took on a stubborn set. "No, no one's dying here," she declared. "Nii-chan!" she called as she began examining the woman's injuries. After several minutes Shiemi stopped. She sat back on her heels. "You're a Revenant," she said quietly. "According to my studies no wound should be sufficient to kill you, but…"

"But if I get my revenge or, apparently, if I lose my desire for revenge the force that animates me dissipates and I return to what I was: an inanimate corpse." The woman smiled. "At my death I was so consumed with my pain and my anger, I forgot that I'm not the only one who feels pain. I wouldn't, the person I was would never have wanted to bring more pain into this world. Could you tell that boy I'm sorry?"

The woman's gaze drifted back to the greenery surrounding them. "So lovely," she sighed. "I could imagine I've found the Amahara Garden… Tell Igor I'm at peace, that I don't want him to grieve anymore."

Shiemi shook her head. Nii-chan tugged on a lock of his Tamer's hair and whispered in her ear. Shiemi's look of determination returned. "Then don't die," she said. "Nii-chan and his friends can remake your body as a Golem. You won't have to be a source of more sadness anymore."

The womaned turned back to Shiemi. "You would help me? After what I did?"

Shiemi nodded firmly. "You wouldn't be fading if you were still full of hate."

"Thank you…"

Shiemi stepped back as a group of Greenmen surrounded Michelle and encased her in a mass of vines.

* * *

><p>Neuhaus wasn't quite sure how he'd managed to escape from the dungeon below the True Cross Academy but he didn't question his luck. He had to find Michelle before the Exorcists did. Even if she was only a demonic shadow of the woman she'd once been some part of her was still his beloved.<p>

His memories of a brief glimpse of the gardens behind the Exorcist Supply Store turned his feet in that direction. The first time he'd seen the lush, magnificent garden he'd thought how much Michelle would have loved it. Neuhaus wonder if enough of Michelle remained to be drawn to the expansive gardens.

He wondered if there was enough of Michelle left to learn from his mistakes. Enough left for him to explain how dissatisfying taking revenge against Okumra Rin was. Neuhaus had believed he'd find a measure of redress, maybe even peace by hurting- killing… Thank God he hadn't managed to kill the boy… Satan's son. But when Rin's blood had splattered over him all he'd felt was shame. His hands covered in the blood of a damaged, confused child who knew he wasn't guilty but who accepted punishment for the crime of existing anyway, so long as it spared others.

'How did I become the villain?' Neuhaus wondered. He'd joined the True Cross and become an Exorcist to understand the secret of life and to confront the source of evil. 'How did I end up attacking children? And how do I keep Michelle from repeating my mistakes?' From what he'd heard there's been no serious injuries from her attack on the dorm or the monastery, there was still time to keep her from regret. He needed to find her and take her away from all this, from everything. Take her away before she could be hurt, before she hurt anyone. The Michelle he remembered would never forgive herself if she continued the path she was walking.

Neuhaus let himself into the garden, it was as vast as he remembered and over-flowing with life, even in the dead of winter. He searched until he saw his former student along with her familiar and a dozen other Greenmen working around a giant bud.

He tried to pull back but at that moment Shiemi looked up and saw him. She smiled. "Michelle's ready to come out, she'll be so glad to see you."

Neuhaus shook his head, trying to comprehend this strange new reality he'd wandered into. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Michelle was too nice to be a Revanant," Shiemi explained. "We're helping her become a Golem. The Greenmen and the garden all like her, the earth likes her. I think it will work out really well." Shiemi gave him a serious look. "You know how to care for a Golem don't you?"

"Who's the professor here?" Neuhaus asked gruffly.

"It's time!" Shiemi exclaimed. Slowly the bud began to open, the over-sized petals peeled back to drink in the weak winter sun. Michelle lay in the center of the blossom, fast asleep.

Neuhaus' breath caught, an incredulous smile spread across his face. He reached out cautiously and brushed a strand of hair back out of Michelle's face. Her eyes fluttered open, she turned toward him and smiled. "Igor."

At that moment a massive crash came from the direction of the garden gate. Arthur Angel and a SWAT team of Exorcists stormed the garden. Angel gave Neuhaus a superior, condescending look. "I knew you would lead us to the demon."

A scruffy looking man in a safari hat and poncho smirked, "Because I told you he would," he murmured.

Angel spared him a quick glance. "Well yes, how else would I know?"

In a blur of speed Angel grabbed Shiemi and hauled her off to the side. He shoved her to the ground and pinned her there with a foot on her back. Blood dripped out of the corner of Shiemi's mouth from biting her lip at Angel's rough handling. "Kill the demon, recapture the traitor," Angel ordered. "I'll keep the girl out of the way."

The scruffy man shook his head and grinned as Neuhaus squared off against the Exorcist team. "I can see those mandatory sensitivity classes really paid off," he said sarcastically.

Angel's expression twisted with disgust at the reminder of the fallout from his failure to secure the presumed body of the Satan-brat. "Yes, I will be certain that I never permit another child to get in the way of completing a mission. I have seen to it that she is out of the way and unharmed."

"What more could we ask?" the scruffy man chuckled.

"It's not funny!" Shiemi shouted. The fury in the normally soft-spoken girl's voice startled both men. She tried to push herself to her feet but Angel kept her stomach pinned to the ground. Shiemi gave up the effort to stand but not her determination to fight. "You don't get to just stand there and pretend like this is okay! It's not! You don't get to pretend it's alright to kill her just because she's a demon. You're not good just because you're human," Shiemi pulled out one of her summoning papers and kissed it, pressing her bloody lips to the paper. "Gaia, your devotee asks a boon. Send your children to defend us!"

The ground rippled, throwing Angel and his team to their knees, then split open and Amamion rose out of the rift, his tail lashing, horns growing out of his head, his heart unsealed by Shiemi's summons. He looked at the Exorcists curiously. "I'm supposed to fight them? Okay." His gaze fixed on Angel. "That one's fun to bat around."

"Make them go away," Shiemi ordered.

"Picky, picky," Amaimon complained. But the earth rippled throwing the Exorcists back and disrupting their lines.

Neuhaus took his chance, he grabbed Michelle's hand and fled using one of the keys in his possession to escape. When Angel tried to follow an explosion filled the doorway, once the flames died down the portal had been sealed.

Angrily Angel turned on Shiemi, but instantly became more cautious when Amaimon stepped between them. The Earth King tilted his head to the said and stared for a moment. "You're almost as fun to play with as Little Brother," he informed Angel, in a flat uninterested voice.

Snarling Angel ran his hand along the length of his blade. Caliburn cooed in delight as Angel's blood was drawn. Alarmed the scruffy man put a restraining hand on Angel's arm.

"No more fighting!" Shiemi screamed.

Amaimon sighed and rolled his eyes but scooped her up and leapt away, leaving the Exorcists in the dust. He headed back in the direction of the True Cross Academy where he scaled the outer walls of the school and climbed through a window into Mephisto's office then he set Shiemi back on her feet. He looked Shiemi up and down slowly. "There's a forfeit for summoning a demon of my rank," he told her. Shiemi looked worried. Amaimon's lips quirked up, "I know, you can be my hostage again when Little Brother is ready to play some more. Later."

Shiemi sat in the visitor chair and pulled her feet up beneath her. Some time later Mephisto came in. "I heard you got the better of a certain Paladin," he commented.

"It- it wasn't right," Shiemi said staring at her hands in her lap. "They were going to kill her just because she was a demon. She was sorry about attacking us, she would have surrendered if they'd asked, but they were just going to kill her. They didn't even give her a chance."

Mephisto sat down on the edge of his desk. "So you stopped them," he said kindly, then he howled with laughter. "A whole team of high ranked Exorcists, stopped in their tracks by a cute little first year Exwire."

Shiemi blushed. "I didn't, I just asked for help."

"Of a Hell King," Mesphisto pointed out. "And he came… The Grigori is a bit uptight about things like that, I must warn you. Angel is probably off reporting to his superiors as we speak."

"I didn't know _he'd_ come," Shiemi replied.

"Oh you really must tell me all about it," Mephisto encouraged.

* * *

><p>The three heavily robed figures looked down on their disgruntled Paladin. "Two reports this week alone. It seems Sir Pheles is not in control of the situation at his Academy. We shall convene immediately to resolve the situations… One way or another."<p>

Angel smirked. "I will see that the parties in question are brought before you," he declared eagerly. He spun on his heel and marched out of the council chamber. His scruffy friend was lounging in the doorway. "See Lightning, you shouldn't have stayed my hand," he murmured as he walked out.

"I was just looking out for you," Lightning replied. "Attacking a demon full-out when his summoner; a fifteen-year-old girl who happens to be one of our Exwires; is standing directly behind him could have even worse consequences than another round of sensitivity training." Then he shrugged and half-turned to the Grigori. "Besides, the girl was interesting. When is the last time any of you have heard of a primordial god responding directly to a prayer?"

Angel sniffed. "There are no 'primordial gods', there is only the one true God. Anything else is just another type of demon. Maybe bigger and harder to kill, but no less worthy of exorcism."

"Of course," Lightning agreed with a faint hint of amusement in his voice. "Even so, _demons_ in that class, apart from Satan, rarely take any interest in the affairs of Assiah, but when that girl prayed to Gaia she received the aid she sought. I find _that_ very interesting."

Angel clapped the other man on the shoulder. "Ah, Lightning, eventually you'll learn: the time and place for thinking is much less prevalent than you think it is."

"I'll think about that," Lightning replied with a wry smile.

"You do that, I will round up the Satan-Brat so that he may finally be dealt with," Angel declared.

A few hours later Nagatomo found Angel sulking in the deserted dorm. "I am here for the Satan-Brat! I demand you turn him over to me immediately!"

Nagatomo resisted the urge to send Angel on a wild goose chase. As much as he'd enjoy obstructing the rather dense Paladin, Angel was nothing if not persistent and chances were when he eventually did figure out where to find Rin he'd take any frustration he might be feeling out on the boy. "Rin's in one of the Cells below the Academy," Nagatomo sighed, he was about to explain but Angel spun on his heel and stormed out of the dorm.

* * *

><p>"Back in a cell? It seems Mephisto Pheles may have some sense after all," Angel observed as he stood at the door of the remodeled cell Mephisto had supplied for Bon's plan. "The Grigori is here to decide your fate, perhaps this time we can dispense with all the nonsense and exorcise you, finally." Then he noticed the other three boys and frowned. "You lot again," he observed unhappily.<p>

Rin stood, he didn't quite look at the other three boys. "Thanks," he said quietly. "Whatever they decide, I'm not going to fight it, sorry. And um, I still don't want you to fight it either, cause I'd seriously rather die than get anyone else hurt. But really, thanks. I… well… knowing you guys care. Um… I don't know what to say. Thank you. And I… guess you're right about the aura thing. I'm sorry, I know you don't want me to accept this, but ever since I found out about being a demon everyone just keeps telling me how much they want me to die, not just Yukio. As long as I can remember it seems like people have hated me just for existing, this last year they try to kill me for it too. And I'm sorry, you tried so hard to change my mind, but with the Exam right on top of us when I woke up… I'm tired. I don't know what I believe anymore, I don't know what's right. I'm just too tired to fight anymore."

Angel tapped his foot impatiently but the 80 hours of sensitivity training he'd been subjected to hadn't completely gone over his head so he didn't do anything more to hurry their goodbyes along. He was all but certain that there wouldn't be a last minute suspension of sentence this time.

Bon grimaced, "Okay, I get it... Even if you're starting to listen to us about Yukio feeding you a pack of lies, it all probably seems pretty hopeless… I won't ask you to fight this, but don't ask us not to. I promise, we'll try talk some sense into them before trying anything drastic."

"What are you three doing?" Angel demanded when all four boys left the cell. Bon pointedly kept himself between Rin and Angel at all times.

"You heard Rin, he's not up to arguing about how wrong the Grigori are to do this right now," Konekomaru said. "So we're going to do it for him."

"You don't argue with your betters," Angel declared frowning.

"They might be your _betters_, but they ain't mine," Bon told him with a scowl. "They're just a bunch of geezers who're afraid of admitting they screwed up."

"Just don't cause any trouble," Angel decided with a scowl and herded all four boys to the courtroom. They were met at the door by Mephisto and Shiemi. Shiemi looked shaken and Mephisto was guiding her with a hand on her shoulder. "You!" Angel exclaimed glaring furiously at Shiemi.

Mephisto smiled broadly. "I would hate to make the Grigori come all the way out here twice. So I decided to save the inconvenience and take care of both little matters at once."

"She summoned a Hell King and sicced him on me!" Angel exclaimed.

Mephisto made a blatantly insincere attempt to look sympathetic, "Did the little girl hurt the big bad Paladin?" he asked.

Izumo ran up, Rin's sword strapped securely across her back. "I just heard," she exclaimed.

"Another one," Angel said with disgust. "This is what comes of consorting with the enemy!" He glared at Mephisto, the most easily assignable root cause of all that was wrong with his world.

"What is the meaning of this?" Baltazar demanded when the whole first year class of Exwires filed into the courtroom. Rin was one of the notable few not glaring defiantly at the Order's most high officials.

"Rin hasn't had the chance to take the Exorcist Exam yet," Konekomaru pointed out. "He can't have failed it. Not that he ever had an honest chance of passing it this year."

"Given the circumstances this year's Exorcist Exam has been canceled," Caspardeclared.

"So, that means none of us passed or failed, we just have to wait another year to take the exam?" Konekomaru clarified.

"Correct," Baltazar said. "However, we see no further need to consider the Satan-child's case. His powers are clearly out of control and he is a danger to everyone around him."

Rin didn't react but the other Exwires looked outraged. "You're idiots if you think Rin's dangerous," Izumo declared coldly.

"One only has to look at the condition of your dorm building to see the danger the Satan-child represents," Baltazar said with a scowl.

"Let me demonstrate how dangerous Rin is," Izumo challenged. She walked over to Bon and handed him the Koma Sword while leaning close to whisper her plan in his ear. Bon nodded, he accepted the sword then moved back until he was directly behind Rin.

"Now let's get something straight," Izumo said flatly. She walked up behind Rin, wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder. Rin gulped and tensed looking down at Izumo's arms around him with shocked look on his face. Behind them Bon drew Kurikara.

"Don't!" Melchiorexclaimed, half standing as blue flames enveloped both Rin and Izumo.

Rin froze. Izumo glared at them from behind a sheath of flames. "Rin's flames don't burn his friends," she stated. "He used them to rescue us and your two worthless, ingrate agents. That 'dangerous explosion' in our dorm; we were standing in the middle of it… Didn't even get a tan much less a burn."

"Now I won't try to convince you that Rin's flames are totally safe," Izumo admitted. "When he was consciously working to control his flames he burned away webbing that wrapped around your agents as tight as a shourd. But it's only his friends who he protects unconsciously. He didn't know we were going to draw the sword but he didn't burn me. I wouldn't recommend your agents try something like that. Because Rin would have to be pretty messed up to think of the likes of them as friends," Izumo scowled fiercely at the Grigori, "given that you sent them here to kill him. No one passes the Exorcist's Exam within eight months of becoming an Exwire. No one."

Bon sheathed the sword and tossed it back to Rin. He glared at the Grigori. "Go through with executing Rin and the Myohda will have withdrawn from the True Cross in ten years."

"A small threat, child," Caspar replied.

Bon glared. "Not so small, the other Buddhist sects will wonder if we withdraw. There's always that lingering question about why it is that the True Cross is in charge anyway."

"And in the Shinto Temples, it never takes much to convince us to reopen the question of the True Cross's definitions," Izumo added. "What is a demon, what is a guardian spirit and most importantly, who gets to decide? And like the Buddhist Sects, we also wonder who put you lot in charge."

Mephisto smiled to himself then stepped forward assuming the spotlight. "Ahh, children these days, so serious," he declared. "For their sakes, let us dispense with games for a moment. We adults all knew from the first that Rin-chan would not pass the Exam this year and there would be a bit of maneuvering but you would eventually be convinced to give him an extension."

"The children are too naive to grasp the subtleties of political games," Mephisto sighed. "They all believe, sincerely believe that you meant to have Rin-chan executed upon his failing of the Exam. His lack of control stemmed from he and all of his friends becoming overwrought due that lack of understanding. And yet, even as he lost all control over his emotions he maintained a perfect regard for the welfare of those he had trained along side of. Rin-chan has had a most terribly stressful term… Which culminated in a few broken windows. To kill a child over broken windows would be a travesty."

"It seems that our Proctors' reports were perhaps alarmist," Melchior stated. "We shall withhold judgment until the Satan-child has completed the Exorcist Exam, but as we stated earlier, this year's Exam has been cancelled. Therefore the suspension of sentence will be extended for another twelve months."

"You are gracious," Mephisto replied with a small bow which helped to hide his knowing smile. Then he brought Shiemi forward. "And now shall we discuss our other distraught child?"

"Do not trivialize the summoning of a Hell King, Sir Pheles," Baltazar stated. "There are explicit laws and penalties surrounding that prohibition."

"I would never make light of such a thing," Mephisto declared, drawing himself up and looking affronted. "But Shiemi-chan did not summon a Hell King. I have spoken with her at length, she has an usually strong natural affinity for the Earth Kingdom, even for a Tamer her affinity is exceptional. The attack on her home, her garden, her _person_… Really, you must tell your Paladin not to man-handle young ladies…" Mephisto scolded. "And on the golem she had called into being, it all upset her. She called on Gaia's children for aid and her affinity for the Earth was such that Gaia responded to her distress. That the child Gaia sent to answered Shiemi-chan's call also happens to be one of the eight Kings of Hell is merest coincidence. He came in his mother's name, not his father's."

"We have no time for your sophistry, Mephisto Pheles," Melchior said disapprovingly.

"This is no specious distinction," Mephisto protested. "The relationship between Gaia and Satan is a tempestuous one. For Amaimon to answer a prayer to his mother indicates a most serious wavering in his loyalties to his father. How long has it been since a Hell King defected from Satan's legion? Perhaps two hundred years, yes?"

"Child, tell me what forfeiture was claimed," Caspar said to Shiemi in a kindly voice. "His exact words if you are able. Demons are deceitful creatures and you may not truly understand the cost of your recklessness."

"He said I could be his hostage again when he wanted to 'play' with Rin-kun," Shiemi said softly. "Last summer he kidnapped me to force Rin to fight him."

"In addition to being a child of Gaia and a Hell King Amaimon is also a bit prone to tunnel vision," Mephisto said with a florid shrug. "I would imagine he is a touch obsessed after his defeat last summer, in this very room, at the hands of Rin-chan and your Paladin. Either that or Amaimon has developed something of a crush, I rather hope it's the former."

* * *

><p>Rin left the courtroom with a dazed smile on his face. His friends had stood by him. The threat of execution had been pushed off another twelve months; passing the Exam after another year of studying didn't sound so impossible… Suddenly Rin found himself laughing madly.<p>

The other Exwires turned to stare at him.

When Rin could speak again he explained," I just realized I'm going to have to get used to the idea of living again."

"Damn right," Izumo growled. "You're certainly not dying anytime soon."

"It'll be the new term next week," Konekomaru observed. "A new start."

"We'll need to start making study plans for next year's Exorcist Exam," Bon said.

"There's going to be a school festival soon," Shima said. "I bet it would be a blast if we go together."

Shiemi, walking between Rin and Bon, impulsively pulled both boys into a hug. When Izumo frowned at her Shiemi only reached out and pulled the other girl into the hug as well. Shima laughed, snagged Konekomaru and joined in, making sure he got an arm around both Izumo and Shiemi.

From the steps above Mephisto watched the little group pull together. "Some minor adjustments but the plan goes on." He smiled to himself. "Now things get interesting."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes: <strong>I'm still having fun with this fandom and this story. But I've run out of buffer and had reached a natural stopping point. So there will be a break in posting for a few weeks while I work on the sequel.


	16. Stare into the Abyss Teaser

The sequel to "To Be Good" is up:

**Stare into the Abyss**

Yukio was about to step out into the rain when a voice shouted "Yo, Wimpy Four-eyes!" Yukio turned and saw a barely clad woman, her long red hair tipped with vibrant yellow, waving to him. "I heard you got transferred to Rio, thought the least I could do was pick you up from the airport."

* * *

><p>Yukio stood at the edge of the viewing platform staring out over the city of Rio de Janeiro, the statue of Christ the Redeemer towering over him. "So you came," an aged voice declared.<p>

Yukio turned and saw a thick-set man, the top half of his face covered by a mask. "I could hardly refuse an invitation from my grandfather," he said.

* * *

><p>A young man with sharply pointed ears poking through messy black sat on the infirmary bed, retching into a basin. He looked up, where his left eye should have been was a gaping pit faded scars ran across his cheek like tear-tracks. He paused to wipe away a thick red liquid from his mouth. "A lot of blood this morning. Think I'm gonna die this time?" he asked cheerfully.<p>

"Over a little thing like this 106? Definitely not."

* * *

><p>Yukio's feet kicked as the phantom woman lifted him from ground, her icy fingers tight around his throat. "The stolen children. You've seen them."<p>

"They aren't your children, La Llorona," Yukio wheezed.

* * *

><p><em>Rin's electric blue eyes popped open. His gaze fixed on Yukio as he started dragging his charred body across the ground to Yukio. He pulled himself up on Yukio's body until he could drape his scorched arms over Yukio's shoulders in a parody of a hug. Yukio felt like he should collapse under the weight of Rin's body and the stench of burnt flesh was suffocating. Rin's cheek was rough and felt like charcoal as he nuzzled Yukio's throat affectionately. "I'd let you do anything to me if you'd just promise to love me again."<em>

Yukio jerked upright in his bed, heart pounding, breath coming in ragged gasps.


End file.
